Our Teachers of Change
Many of our deep vulnerable wounds we naturally suppressed into our subconscious. I have heard so many times from so many clients that they just want to get rid of them and want them to disappear forever!! The hard part is, we aren’t to get rid of them, we are to learn to lovingly heal them ~ as they are a part of us and who we are. This healing is a core of our change ~ albeit deeply painful hence our avoidance of those dark rabbit-holes so speak.
It is amazing how life, friends, family and our intimate relationships inevitably create the space for the re-triggering of old our buried wounds. Oh, the wish to have them remained buried (LOL) and because they continue to, at times painfully re-surface! It’s like the same old – same old re-trauma. The post- traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is not in the post but very much in the present.
Learning To Change
The words of Pema Chodron, “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know” really reminds me of the process in my Transpersonal and Experiential Psychotherapy training and also Holotrophic Breathwork where it was suggested that the essence of our “Inner Healer” continues to take us on a journey of healing until we have been taught of what we need to know of that wound at all realms:- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
In my learning and experiences I believe it takes energy to keep these wounds or trauma at bay in the subconscious (e.g., kept at length in the old rabbit-hole). I don’t mean we are consciously aware of doing this, as we have a developed neural wiring to automatically protect our vulnerability. We guard this wounded vulnerability that is so deep in our hearts and adopt all the rational short-circuits our minds can muster to not feel it. Remaining in our minds, disconnected from the emotional felt sense within our physical being.
Life and its uncanny capacity to keep re-presenting the triggers to our old wounds is suggesting a change of direction in our learning and healing. It’s is incredible how much our deep vulnerability keeps coming up. What are they surfacing for? What are we not ‘getting’? Learning to traverse the emotional landscape of our wounded vulnerability is a key to beautiful change. As we grow in traversing through our wounds we develop an energetic movement deepening our flow of “inner healing.”
Vulnerability Of Change
The wounds of our vulnerability are painful yet beautiful teachings. We usually conditioned to react and defend these wounds and trauma(s) of life and lock it away to get on with life (e.g, soldier on, stiff upper lip). It is amazing how these experiences never really go away. We may not consciously linger on them however our minds may periodically touch the “knowing” of each wound. Those wounds present themselves in our relationships and we initially blame each other for the triggering of them. What is the teaching from these wounds and are they asking us to change how we meet them? They may keep surfacing into our consciousness to have a need met – that was not met back then?
I deeply believe and feel that what is being ‘taught’ by these wounds and we need to ‘know’ is how to meet them with loving kindness and compassion. Many of our needs back then and sometimes today – were not met, by omission. Are we still not meeting them – by our own omission? The vulnerability of change is a yearning from deep within. Our vulnerability is our fragility and needs a sacred safety of being held and met with loving kindness and compassion. As we react to guard and protect of our vulnerability instead – how might we develop an insight to check-in and learn to loving meet the wound that is surfacing. I know this is very difficult when we are in the epicentre of our wound as it has been triggered. We may not be coping with the emotional pain that is expressing itself in our time of vulnerability. Allowing ourselves the sacred space to release this emotional pain is an honour to the healing process.
Learning to meet it with loving kindness and compassion is a change in our self-care and self-love. It is hard and painful to meet our emotional wounds however the more we practice – the more the inner wound ‘knows’ it is loving cared for, within. As we painfully and emotionally heal the layers of each wound it changes. It is teaching us the gift of self-love and as we know how to physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually traverse this landscape ~ we change and ‘know.’
“Be Gentle & Enjoy”