Connecting to Infinite Silence
Mark [0:00] I’d like to welcome Philip Wade to the World Heart of Connection Podcast. I’m your host Mark Randall. Philip has been originally a civil engineer and has swapped ships ~ he’s now experientially realised the nature of the true self. Which he refers to as the Infinite Silence and shares this profound gift with the whole world through direct experience, spirits inquiry, infinite touch, by his websites, Facebook, YouTube, felt very busy on that social network, networking stuff. He shares his experiences has reached all continents and has held events in the UK, Iceland, Greece and Amsterdam. Amsterdam is a lovely country. In his old life, he was a chartered engineer and director of a business. However, this was left to the ashes as he was focused on the deep inner calling. And in the process, he met his partner and wife, Sue, and she is his spiritual companion, and their lives are totally transformed. Welcome, Philip.
Connecting to Infinite Touch & Silence
Philip [1:17] Thank you Mark it’s a delight. Thank you for sharing that. Also, hello to all your listeners, wherever they are in the world. Just one thing that you used the word intuitive silence I use the word infinite silence. Also, infinite touch is the other part and we’ll come on to that, I’m sure. I’m delighted to be here and great to be able to speak to you.
Mark [1:45] My background is more of a psychotherapist. I’m trained in Transpersonal and Emotional Release Counselling and as part of that stuff, which is a bit opposite to civil engineering. How did you get connected to from civil engineering, which I would imagine is very head – analytical process into infinite silence?
Connecting to Meditation
Philip [2:12] I suppose that’s a common question I get asked. But I think probably the key transition point I can remember was back in the year 2000. I was in the midst of my career and I remember being on a skiing holiday, it was a Whistler on the west coast of Canada. Which is thousands of miles from here, like about 13-hour flight or something? And I was a good skier and I skied hard in those days. I remember waking up one morning after a good day skiing and I’ve been dreaming about work. And I remember saying, under my breath, this has got to stop. The next thing I remember that kind of triggered that I was walking out a bookshop when I got back home. I saw this book; it was by an Australian guy what’s his name? And now it’ll come to me it was called the “Little Book of Calm.” I don’t know if you’ve seen it as it was very popular around the world. And I thought that’s what I need. I was quite calm on the outside. But on the inside, there was perhaps stuff going on. I carried this book around in my briefcase for weeks. And then the next thing I was off to Edinburgh to see my partner, and I was in the airport bookshop.
Connecting to the Book “Calm for Life”
And there was another book by the same guy, Paul Wilson was his name. It was called “Calm for Life.” And I thought, bingo, and I read that book cover to cover and what the book taught me was meditation. And I absolutely committed to meditation. And I noticed cumulative benefits very quickly. And I really went for it no matter – while I was working ridiculous hours in those days. I’ve got up early enough each morning to do half an hour each day, and even when I was travelling all over the country, I always made sure I meditated. And things kind of started to evolve from there and I started to find out about alternative therapies and things like that. And it became apparent really quickly that there were a new direction and a new calling. And I realised, I think that something that I’ve been aware of before – that by the time I was 50, I’d be doing something different. I’d always had this sense. And it became a very strong calling very quickly and the meditation just got a momentum. I went deep, I found I was really, good at these alternative therapies. So, I was kind of like living two lives. One as a chartered civil engineer running a big business and another sort of deeply exploring spiritually. And then it just became crystal clear that I was going to have to leave the old world behind. The calling was so strong. I took a few years to make that decision. But I did back in 2009. I knew that if I didn’t follow the calling, I’d regret it. And it was a great decision.
Heart Inner Wisdom Connection
Mark [5:40] Can I ask about the calling? With the calling, was it deep inner wisdom calling ~ a calling from your heart or a calling more from the intellect or more from the intuitive heart inner a wisdom perspective?
Philip [5:58] The intuitive inner a heart wisdom. There are several events that had led to it. So, a couple of years before I walked out of my old life, at the height of my career, I’ve suddenly been given in meditation, a website domain name, and it was gateway location.org. And I thought, at the time, I was supposed to look at this website, and I looked around and there was no search website, or that’s a bit odd. Because I’ve kind of begun to realise by then to follow these insights. And about three months later, I got it again and went again and it’s still not there. And then I read it, and then an option popped up to buy it. And I thought that’s what I’m supposed to do.
Meditation connections are liberating
Mark [6:56] It the process, as you’re beginning to meditate, what was it like to begin to connect to yourself, the silence in the body, the silence in the mind allows all the old material to surface from the rabbit holes, what was that like that connection for you?
Philip [7:20] I found it liberating in terms of calmness, that inside that I hadn’t been there before. So even though I was amid a very, what was a very stressful career in certainly in the UK, civil engineering. It’s a very conflict-based industry in the UK. But it was very, very calming inside. But in parallel, I was exploring these alternative therapies. And I realised that there was kind of like in as you’ve referred to emotional baggage being carried around. And I found using these, I felt called to all these – so I explored two or three different things. I used these tools in conjunction with the meditation, that stuff just started to come up and fall away. And the kind of approach I took to it was like, wow, this is good. Let’s just get rid of this stuff. I wasn’t afraid of it. And I just thought, because every time something happened, I thought you always felt better afterwards. So, for me, it was just like, let’s go through it. And if it came up – deal with it, there and then. And so, for me, it was just a very liberating process.
Connecting to Emotions & not Becoming them
Mark [8:38] Was it learning to connect to the emotions and just notice them ~ connect, notice?
Philip [8:44] I learned very quickly because I think I was very discerning about who I went too, to learn different things, very discerning. And I learned very quickly that connecting to the emotions, feeling the emotions, but not becoming them was central. And that fitted quite a lot to the logic of fitted with the heart logic of the knowledge, and to an engineer that seemed like the perfect solution. It just made sense to me, both intuitively, and from the kind of mental logic perspective. And so I kind of entered it with no fear really. Well, obviously there was fear in the body, I should say, but I just went into it thinking like, this is what I’ve got to – this is the direction I’ve got to go.
Being Connected to my Sensitive Self
Mark [9:42] In your early life where you, would it be fair to describe ~ would you be a sensitive person that would notice his heart?
Philip [9:57] Yeah, definitely. That became Let me ask the process to unfold again. In fact, that never really left me. It had been squashed somewhat in a very challenging industry. But that kind of inner sensitivity and intuitive knowing – I came to realise that always been from a child. I remember, of incidents came back to me where there was just knowing about certain things. These just puzzled me that why other people didn’t get it or didn’t seem to get it at least when I was a child. And so that all came flooding back as this process opened, and it opened fast.
My Connection to Others
Mark [10:48] And as you’ve deepened into the process, then the calling came, and you opened and started sharing it with others. Can you describe how you share it with others physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually?
Philip [11:05] It’s changed a little bit over the years, it started off teaching some specific things. But now, what’s been made clear to me through not from any mental decisions, but everything in terms of how I share now, right down to the finest detail. So, it’s all come through intuitive and meditative insight, both through in terms of the ways that I share, what I share and, how I share. So, now it’s focused on several, shall we say, pillars of meditation. It is a very specific meditation, that again emerged in a very clear pattern as part of the realisation. It’s called the infinite silence meditation, not surprisingly, but it emerged in two stages in 2011, and 2014. And it was made clear as those things emerged, absolutely crystal clear, bombarded with insights. But this – you had to share this, and you have to share it in this way. And that I made available in an open source way right back from 2011. Never held anything back, it was always freely available. So, that was one part of it. Another part that also became immediately apparent is what would be traditionally called a spiritual inquiry.
Modernising Eastern Meditation Principles
In the east, they would call it Satsang. But one of the things that have been made clear to me is that I’m not to use or always use sparingly some of that Eastern stuff. Because it appears at least as to how it’s been shared. It’s to be relevant and pertinent to the modern-day. So, the inquiry I use is not something that follows any pattern of any tradition. So, inquiry, asking the question, who am I really? And then the third part was also shown in a vision. Sorry, the inquiry was shown in vision – I was showing like a spherical bowl, with questions being put into it. And I was to use this in the events. So, I was showing that and then the third part is what I call the infinite touch. And this, again, came in meditation, physically being shown a vision of – if you can imagine, I’ve got my left hand, I’ve got a thumb on somebody’s forehead, what’s called the third eye, and then the fingers go on the crown. And I call that the infinite touch. And for those people who are struggling with emotions, or perhaps find it difficult to connect, in the meditation, this physical element to it because the vibration in my body is now so high, creates a very profound connection for them very quickly. So, that was shown. And then the fourth element, which is connected to the infinite touch, also shown in meditation was what I called the open gaze experience. And I tend to link the infinite touch with the open gaze. And what that is – is in some groups, when I’ve happened together for a while, we’ll go up, the infinite touch will come up, and what I’ll do, is I’ll go around the group and sit in front of everybody. And the first part is I’ll ask them to look directly into my eyes. And I am gazing not from my eyes, but from the awareness. And that, and then the infinite touch part comes and that has quite powerful effects on people. It’s true, the eyes are the windows to the soul.
Connecting to our Eyes of Awareness
Mark [15:17] And through our eyes, there’s a lot of energy that travels through the eyes and can create that resonance in connection to the other. With the infinite touch is that then enabling people to sense into their bodies. If they’re a bit disembodied ~ up in their heads, is that enable them to come into their bodies?
Philip [15:42] It connects them. I think what you just said there but also, it brings them out of their heads – more into the stillness. The silence of the heart space within – it kind of – if somebody is very lost up here, it can move them quite quickly into a space of stillness. I remember recently, just before locked down here in the UK. Just to give you an example of how that works. He had been to a few of my events. This guy, a friend, but he was struggling with his daughter was diagnosed with some serious medical condition, which I forget what it was now. And he got himself really stressed by it. And I just have done a talk and I could see, and I suddenly had this intuitive insight for him. And he hadn’t been meditating and all the rest of it. But he needed to benefit from the touch. So, I literally did that. And it just went, and he just felt it kind of deep distress happened to him. And he came into stillness very quickly,
Infinite Touch a Releasing of Blocked Emotions
Mark [16:57] Have you also experienced in the connection with the touch, that sometimes it could also too, then open the heart and allow the release of tears, the blocked emotions. Now I’ve been itching to ask a question when you’re just sharing the story just then. The infinite silence ~ How can you describe that with words?
Philip [17:25] Yeah, well, obviously.
Mark [17:26] Sorry for that question.
Philip [17:29] Okay (Laughter).
Philip [17:34] No real way of doing that (Laughter)
Philip [17:37] But let me offer some pointings.
Connecting to the Infinite Silence
Philip [17:42] So, infinite silence is the term that emerged as part of the realisation. It was a term, it chose, again, not from here, but from the silence within. And it refers to it because it’s silence is a keyword in there. Because everything ultimately goes back to silence. So, every sound, every vibration always ultimately comes – so it’s a constant. Silence is constant. And the other word, obviously, infinite – is that it’s infinite. There are no boundaries, no limits.
Philip [18:23] And it’s another term for awareness – or infinite consciousness. And what I mean by awareness, is – we’re aware beings, we are self-aware beings. But this awareness is before and beyond the human identity awareness. It’s a seeing that is witness to, every phenomenon. And I can do a little exercise to help people connect with this if you want. In a moment, it’s up to you.
Connecting to the Now of Infinite Silence
Mark [19:01] As you’re sharing it now. Are you connecting to the infinite silence within yourself as you’re sharing it with me now?
Philip [19:08] Always there never not.
Mark [19:12] How do you anchor to there. What’s your process to remind yourself when you’ve gone back up into your head into that civil engineer brain? How do you bring yourself back to connect back to that infinite silence?
My ‘Gaps’ of Infinite Silence are Always There
Philip [19:30] Fortunately for me, it’s never – not there. But obviously, you still have this body and you still can. The process I use is just – you see, everybody has this. And it’s a matter of noticing it. If one catches the train of thought, so to speak, we can we tend to catch the train of thought. There’s always a gap that appears. And that’s the moment of choice. And you’ll notice that. If you start to pay attention to that gap, then for me, the instant that gaps noticed, there’s seeing and a looking and instantly, the thought train stops. Now, that’s not probably going to be the case for most people, because they’re so attached to here. But the more that you meditate. And the more that you use a spiritual practice, the more that you’ll notice that gap, and then you will call back to that space.
Mark [20:40] And as you notice that gap ~ again, this is my bias, but are we dropping into the depth of the heart? In the space of that gap?
The Heart our Entry point to Gap of Infinite Silence
Philip [20:53] Without a doubt, I think it is an entry point. Yeah, it’s an entry point.
Mark [20:58] Like a portal?
Philip [20:59] Yes, like a portal. It’s not completely it, because there are layers, so to speak of that. The first point, though, when that gaps noticed – see like, everything is like a wave. So, you sit up – you’re out in nature, all is still and calm there’s no thought. And then a thought comes and it’s like a wave and it passes. And emotion comes and it passes. Now, what is it – that sees that? That notices the passing of all phenomena. That’s what I call a silent witness. That’s not quite it, is because that still a kind of personal dimension to that. That silence witness itself dissolves into the infinite field of awareness. But that witnessing is the entry point.
Mark [22:06] Yep. And as part of the conversations that we travel into in this podcast is the connection to the ‘All That Is” ~ whatever that is to you. And we can be splitting hairs here. But it’s like, is that infinite silence the ‘All That Is’ for you and beyond?
Connecting to the ‘All That Is’
Philip [22:29] Well, that became an equivocally, clear, as the realisation flowered in 2014. Its kind of, somebody asked, Well, how will I know. It’s kind of thing you can’t miss. Its impermissible unequivocal clarity, seeing that, the term infinite silence. It shows is that which we always have been, and always will be. And if it’s eternal – it’s eternal, now that’s often talked about in spirituality, but it’s also awareness, that simply aware of itself. And the word infinite is an important word because that means everything is that. But the problem we have in the human form is we forget that and identify as the body-mind, rather than the field of awareness – of the field of infinite energy. And so, it’s not about believing me say that it – as it’s realised, and that’s why I use the term self-realisation, it becomes unequivocally clear to one and it doesn’t require belief.
Mark [23:56] They say or I have heard the belief is something – we have beliefs. But in that infinite silence or the ‘All That Is’ ~ it’s a faith. And it’s a faith ~ they call it ~ it’s like having a faith ~ just holding the faith. It’s just there. I just wanted to ask a basic question. When you’re in that infinite space, infinite silence, what happens to your well-being in your mental health?
‘All That Is’ ~ Infinite Silence Transform our Mental Health
Philip [24:28] Transforms it. (Laughter)
Philip [24:33] I got insights to share with you and your listeners will welcome as well. It came from a conversation with my wife and the insight came to her but it’s really, it’s a good response to that question you just asked. And it came to her after we explored this on the beach one day of meditative insight.
Philip [24:57] Thought cannot heal you your pain.
Philip [25:02] Presence will transform it. And that presence is the infinite silence. So, the answer to your question is it’s transformative.
Connecting to Peace of Heart ~ Peace of Mind
Mark [25:11] I always say, “peace of heart ~ peace of mind.” I go the other way. They always say peace of mind, peace of heart. I go the other way, “peace of heart ~ peace of mind”, which is transformative?
Philip [25:23] Absolutely. You won’t get peace from the mind.
Mark [25:26] No, you won’t. And, I jokingly say, that my brain is set at 85%, survival, negative, negative, and by learning to switch off that intellectual brain and come down into the heart ~ is the key to any transformation. Unfortunately, there are bits in the heart that have a memory from our wounds, but rather than get rid of them is how do we learn to have that infinite relationship to them? And what a beautiful gift?
Our Heart Pain is an Emotional Overlay
Philip [25:32] What you’re saying there – is that – people get confused about the heart. Because they use the term things like broken heart, brave heart and stuff like that. But the pure heart can bear it all. The reason that we have the experience of the heart being broken, or in this pain is there’s an overlay of what I would call the emotional body. Now, that in itself isn’t the heart – it’s an overlay to the heart, that is like a, something that has to be passed through – the pain body that has to be passed through to get to the purity of the heart. When one is in the heart space, that pain body will automatically be dissolved in the light of that awareness.
Mark [26:59] Now being two men having this conversation is I’m going to say it’s a bit foreign, I’m joking. But what do we need to do as men, to facilitate more men getting out of their heads, and connecting to the infinite science and the depths of their hearts?
Making It Okay for Men to Connect
Philip [27:23] I think making it okay for men. I think everybody whether you’re a man or a woman goes through conditioning. And the conditioning for men in Australia is probably not that different from the men in Europe or the UK. And, the kind of this storyline that sold to men, you know, men are hard, and they’re not emotional and all the rest of it, which is complete bollocks. Because we’re all emotional beings. So, part of it is making it okay for men to connect to themselves. For men to meditate, for men to have emotions, and that to be okay. Because facing feeling and witnessing emotions is probably more challenging than trying to be the hardest, it’s quite easy to be the bully.
Philip [28:27] But actually to go through this process can be more challenging. So, the key for me is having role models, making it okay, inviting men to that. And what I find is that, because people know, I was a chartered civil engineer. And they see the transition that’s taken place. And so that immediately tends to create an invitation say, I want some of what you’ve got because you can like that.
Meditation in the old Days was Closeted ~ Hidden
Mark [29:00] With practice. When you first started the conversation, I wanted to ask, were you a bit like Jack Kornfield‘s and Richard Davidson having to do your meditation ~ closeted meditation back in those days before it became in the mainstream as it is now?
Philip [29:21] Yeah, definitely.
Mark [29:24] I’m sure. You wouldn’t have been telling too many civil engineers that we said what are you smoking? Philip?
Philip [29:35] Yeah.
Mark [29:37] In terms of what piece of advice would you give a younger Philip commencing his journey of life, right at this point? What would that piece be?
Philip [29:52] I knew you’re going to ask that question.
Philip [29:58] I was trying to reflect on what it might be and what came to me was is all going to be okay.
Connecting to Surrender & Trusting our Heart
Mark [30:04] Just to surrender, come into your heart and trust that it’s there.
Philip [30:07] Yeah, you’re okay as well. Not only is it all going to be okay – it is all okay.
Mark [30:22] Because we are all okay. Deep down in the essence of what you’re talking about before it’s just pure. Pure unconditional ~ how would the world be ~ How would the world be a better place if we could all start to resonate from that space interconnectedly together?
Philip [30:50] It would transform the world as we know it. For me, I put it this way, when inner peace is realised outer peace becomes possible at last. It’s not the other way around, so many people are looking for peace, in situations, events, relationships, and so forth. And these never, that’s never going to be a lasting peace. So, by allowing that transformation to emerge from then – will not only realise who we are, we will realise that we are the source of peace, which is not this non-personal awareness. And that will automatically make us see that, there’s Mark here is in Australia, and Philip here in England. But actually, were infinitely and intrinsically connected. And so, we will see that sense of separation, oh, well, he’s an Aussie and I’m a pommy, and all that. Okay, well, that might be a bit of fun. But it’s, it’s not the truth. And so, the transformation that takes place inside will bring about an outer transformation that will be incredible in comparison to what we see in the world now.
Noticing our Interconnectedness in Infinite Silence
Mark [32:13] And as I’m sitting here with you, you’re in London, in England, I’m in Australia. My sense is I felt a resonate when you’re talking about that infinite silence. And just, as we’re breathing and just in the silence. It’s, the silence is there just as we are speaking, now.
Philip [32:35] It is and like – sometimes I say to raise like consciousness speaking to consciousness outcomes.
Mark [32:44] Would you like to do a brief ~ to drop people in there to draw the conversation to a close? Would you like to finish with a brief meditation into dropping people there?
Philip [32:56] We can do, I don’t know how long you’ve got.
Philip [32:59] But I can do actually let me do a little exercise first because this will help people get and then I’ll take it from there. Because this is quite a useful tool that people can use in their daily life. So, there are two parts, to this. So, if you want to close your eyes, just now for a moment. I’m going to need you to speak in a moment. But if you still do need your mic, just close your eyes for a moment.
Philip [33:28] And just ask inside who am I? Who am I?
Philip [33:49] Just be with that for a second or two, and they just open your eyes for a moment. And just let me know if anything came there.
Mark [33:59] It there was something that came into the heart, but I was not able to put words to it. There was an energy in the heart and I just could not Who am I? Who am I? The obvious answer, the intellectual answer was Mark. But deep down it wasn’t. It was something else.
Philip [34:21] So just be with that. When I ask that people get that kind of responses – come into intellectual wants to go to the identity as Mark?
Connection Exercise Part 2
Philip [34:29] There is an opening there’s a kind of deeper seeing. So, then we can take the question a little bit further. So, let’s do that again so close your eyes. And now we’re going to reframe the question – who I without memory?
Philip [34:54] Who am I without memory?
Philip [35:03] Just be with that for short while and open your eyes again.
Mark [35:15] Essence.
Philip [35:20] There you go. Now while this I know we can do – take that a little further with the meditation in a moment. But what hat does that second part of that question takes us away from mind identification? Strips away the going to mind and comes back to so. And usually when I ask that question most people get in an immediate, deeper connection.
Philip [35:50] So if you want to do the little, we’ll do a five minute, shall we?
Mark [35:54] That would be great, thank you.
Philip [35:56] Good. Just on the exercise people can use that anytime, anyplace, anywhere, and that will bring a stillness very quickly.
Philip [36:08] So, let’s just go to meditation. So, it’s called infinite silence meditation. And when I say the term spheres of light – balls, spheres of life, just be open to that don’t have to do anything.
Philip [36:27] Just close your eyes. And the first bring your attention to your body. Noticing the phenomena, the breath, sensations, emotions, just silently and without any judgement. Just accepting what’s here.
Philip [37:16] Just like you’re watching a movie, from the inside, as you merge with this witnessing presence, just be open from your heart to the experience, of spheres, of light, spheres, of light, this energy, of spheres of light is the same as the pure universal state.
Philip [38:25] I am the infinite, I am of pure being, its an aliveness and this too can be seen or sensed. Just resting the attention on this – I am. And this can only be seen or witnessed from the silent witness in infinite silence. Just merging with this silent witnessing – like watching a movie from the inside. And this silent witness is like some ice in an ocean of water.
Philip [40:03] It’s melting dissolving becoming one with the water and the water is like an ocean of silence, stillness, presence, just like you dived into the ocean and all have become still and silent. Deeper and deeper simply silently witnessing, merging, melting, and just now in silence we trust and this trust becomes the knowing, the realising of infinite awareness, in silence you will realise your truth, in truth you will realise you are silence, infinite silence, infinite awareness, that’s always present here now, never not here, knowing now even as we close this short meditation one can remain in and as this silent awareness of infinite silence. Aware of your body again, the chair you sit on, aware of the space and whenever the moment is right for you. I’ll ring the singing bell gently their eyes.
Mark [44:08] Namaste. Philip Wade thank you very much for that beautiful meditation ~ this beautiful conversation. It is amazing how we connected in your conversation with Guy D Craft. There was a connection between the three of us. I felt that too and it’s really lovely that more of us men are coming out to be able to share this material because the more we do it, connect our hearts and in that infinite silence, Mother Earth is going to be healed.
Philip [44:59] We start coming back into harmony with it all.
Mark [45:05] Thank you so much for this opportunity to have a conversation with you lovely to see you in person. And that’s the wonderful thing with technology. Let’s stay in contact.
Philip [45:16] Sure, I’ll keep an eye out.
Mark [45:25] It would be really lovely to go deeper a little bit. Just to have that exploratory depth into the depth and just bounce and ideas and just have the conversation without any agenda. Yeah. Because it’s really lovely to have that to share this stuff.
Philip [45:42] Maybe you, me and Guy could do something together.
Mark [45:44] Yeah, that’d be a great idea. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday morning. You’re hitting into the Sunday lunchtime. Well done. We’re not far off the bed for Monday. Namaste.
Philip [45:59] One giving us that.
Mark [46:01] It is. Philip, thank you so much. Lovely to talk to you Namaste.
Philip [46:05] Thanks so much.
Mark [46:05] Thank you. Cheers now.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai