Connecting to Joy & Happiness ~ Episode 87 ~ My Conversation with Jessie Holton

Heart of Connection Podcast
Heart of Connection Podcast
Connecting to Joy & Happiness ~ Episode 87 ~ My Conversation with Jessie Holton

Connecting to Joy & Happiness

Mark [0:00] I’d like to welcome Jessie Holton to the World Heart of Connection podcast. I’m your host Mark Randall. I’ve met Jessie through the infamous Facebook.  Jessie runs Stamping Up, which is selling paper crafts supplies online to people who are into the arts and crafts.  Just prior to the conversations I was talking about my sisters deeply into that and has made some beautiful material for special events. Also, Jessie’s been working with health and wellness.  Her motto is that they all link back to common confidence and one of the communities Facebook communities I’m involved with Jessie is the Choose Happy. However, not 21 days. I haven’t seen that one. So welcome to the podcast, Jessie.

Jessie [0:54] Thank you.

Connecting to a Busy Schedule that Manifests

Mark [0:55] Jessie, in terms – is there anything that I’ve neglected there or missed in that introduction.

Jessie [1:03] No, that’s – I think that’s pretty much all of it. I’ve got my finger in a few different buckets.

Mark [1:07] You have indeed. How do you find the time for it all?

Jessie [1:12] Ah, I don’t know. Really. It just happens.

Connecting to My Passion & Purpose

Mark [1:17] Just manifests?

Jessie [1:18] That’s it. You do what you love, and you enjoy it and it happens.

Mark [1:25] That passion and purpose when you love it, what’s it like?

Jessie [1:31] Joyful. Just brings joy, brings reason.  I just want to inspire people and give them an outlet.

Mark [1:51] What’s it like for you to connect to that joy within yourself?

Connecting to my Joy & Happiness

Jessie [1:57] Very important. You must be happy. You must make the choice to be happy.

Mark [2:11] Not always easy?

Jessie [2:15] It’s not. But, there’s no point wallowing in sorrow is there.  Get up and do what you have to do to bring a smile to yourself and bring a smile to others.

Mark [2:33] Do you have a process? Do you have a ritual? How do you do that particularly staying connected to yourself ~ staying connected to the joy, the happiness?

Connecting to my Process of Joy

Jessie [2:47] I think the easiest way is to bring joy to others.  Authentic joy not just surface stuff, but to actually be grateful and be caring.  Just be kind to other people and you’ll naturally find joy in doing those things and receiving some of those things back.  I mean, that’s not to say that you’ll always receive those things back you should do things without expectation.  When it comes back to you, it’s beautiful.

Mark [3:37] It’s a bit of a bonus, isn’t it?

Jessie [3:38] Yeah, it’s the cherry on top.

Mark [3:45] What happens ~ can you describe what happens in your body? What do you experience in your body when you are in joy?

Connecting to the Warmth & Light

Jessie [3:54] Ah, I guess it’s just a warmth and without saying without sort of sounding too woo-woo, like a light. Like you’ve got light in your heart.  Once you’ve got light in your heart, you can bring and see if you can help give that light and put it in other people’s hearts.  That’s just a really special thing to be able to do.

Mark [4:28] It’s a pretty special connection?

Jessie [4:29] Yeah, that’s it.

Mark [4:32] What happens when you are disconnected from that light?

Jessie [4:37] I think that’s when you’re lonely.

Connecting to our Power of Digging Deep

Jessie [4:44] I mean, it’s the process of being grateful for things.  You have to dig down on it. You can’t just say I’m grateful for surface things.  You have to dig down and if you can list a few reasons why you’re grateful for those particular things, then that’ll help you have a better connection.

Mark [5:16] A better connection to yourself?

Jessie [5:19] Yes. And a better, better connection to other people as well. So, I was actually just having a chat about this yesterday on a team training.  We were going through motivation, and one of the things that came up was – it’s so important to be grateful.  Not to just to list – I’m grateful for my house, or I’m grateful for my husband.  Those are great things to be grateful for, but why are you grateful for them.  If you can come up with three or four reasons why you’re grateful for them, you’ll feel a much tighter connection to them in your heart.  You’ll feel the actual gratitude much deeper.

Connecting to Gratefulness of Our Hearts

Mark [6:15] As you’re sharing that, I was just wondering, is there a delineation between when we’re grateful for our house and grateful for partners? Yes, there’s an emotional connection to that ~ but is it more of an intellectual appreciation.  But when you deepen down as you’re saying are you then connecting to the gratitude that’s coming from your heart ~ from a different space in your body.

Jessie [6:39] Yeah, exactly.

Mark [6:42] What’s it like to connect to that heart of yours?

Jessie [6:49] Good I hope (Laughter).

Mark [6:53] Especially when there’s lots of light in it?

Jessie [6:55] Well, yeah, that’s it.

Connecting to our Darkness & Pain

Mark [6:58] When there’s dark in it, how do you connect to the ~ we can’t have one without the other?

Jessie [7:04] Yeah, that’s right. There’s always ebbs and flows.

Jessie [7:09] I think, it’s okay to have feelings. Everybody has feelings. And we’re humans, right? We’re not robots. But you can’t just allow yourself to dwell in it. You’ve got to get up, wash your face, brush your hair and pick yourself up and reconnect.

Mark [7:39] When reconnect. When we’re in that sort of space, how important are connections to others to help us journey through that space?

Jessie [7:52] It is very important. Everyone goes through shit in their life. Am I allowed to swear? (Laughter)

Working through Our Pain Points

Jessie [8:05] Everyone has crap happen to them. It’s life, right? It’s not all going to be roses and rainbows. It’s – everyone has bad stuff happened to them. But it’s how you deal with it that’s what you’ve got control over. You may not always have control over stuff that happens to you in life you don’t have control over other people’s actions or who you’re related to. But you have reacted – but you have control over your reaction, and you have control over your emotions to a point.

Mark [8:41] Do you have a daily routine or daily ritual of how you keep a check on yourself?

Connecting to 21 Days of Abundance

Jessie [8:52] Look, I have been doing the 21 days of abundance recently.  That was one of the groups that I was talking to you about before this Podcast.  That’s freely available on UTube. So, if you’re interested in doing it or there’s plenty of Facebook groups that are doing it. So, it’s there for you – if you want to look for it.  If you’re interested to find it – it’s definitely got some tough questions.  It’s good to work through all of those personal blocks. So, doing something like that, having some mindfulness, having some quiet time, if journaling is your thing, or if praying is your thing, do that.  Spend some time in the sunshine.

Mark [9:44] It’s interesting, isn’t it?  To stay happy to stay in that positive space. It doesn’t always come naturally?

Connecting to Creating Our Happiness

Jessie [9:59] No. Sometimes you have to really work for it. But it’s like – even in any job that you’ve got.  You might not want to go to work every day, but you do.  You get up and go, and you keep plodding along. Because you can’t not.  I mean, you’re just gonna waste your life, if you don’t do something.

Mark [10:28] When you put the work in, it must be really empowering to be able to put that work in and hit that sweet spot?

Jessie [10:36] Yeah, definitely. Definitely. And the effort is equal to the rewards.

Mark [10:46] When you hit that sweet spot ~ can you move into a flow, like a flow state?

Connecting to Our Sweet Spot ~ Flow-State

Jessie [10:53] Yeah, you definitely do, I think.  I really have noticed that lately. So, since the beginning of March, I’ve actually been doing a personal development course.  That’s had a lot of tough questions in it. But it’s been good to work through. Because like when you when you’re faced with these tough questions that you get in personal development and in the 21 days of abundance and things like that.  You have some fear, and you have some resistance towards doing the work.

Jessie [11:11] And even though it might be tough to get through, it’s definitely worth it afterwards because you realise that it’s just thoughts. It doesn’t kill you. And after you’ve gotten through that you have so much peace, like you feel so much lighter. You can shed the weight of that baggage that you’re carrying.

Mark [11:59] It’s Interesting, isn’t it? We all seem to want to disconnect from that baggage?

Jessie [12:03] Yeah, but you can’t unless you deal with it and not just sweep it under the rug.

Healing Our Baggage with Loving-Kindness

Mark [12:11] How much of that baggage needs our loving-kindness and compassion connection to it?

Jessie [12:18] All of it.  You got to treat yourself with kindness and everybody makes mistakes. You can’t hold grudges; you can’t hold resentment. You’ve just got to move on. You’ve got to get over that stuff and let it go. I’m sure that there’ll be people saying, “oh, yeah, it’s easier than it sounds.”   Or harder than it sounds. But you’ve just got to do the work and if you really want to see results, then you’ve got to face it at some point.

Mark [13:03] Yeah, that baggage does like love and kindness, because that baggage is a part of our self and it needs our connection.

Jessie [13:09] Yeah, exactly.

Connecting Instead of Rejecting Aspects of Self

Mark [13:10] The more we connect to it, instead of getting rid of it, because it doesn’t want to be rejected.  It’s going keep knocking on our door until we do face up to it, connect to it, heal it.  By healing it, I wonder whether that deepens our connections to our self?

Jessie [13:31] I think it does. I think it gives you a better understanding of yourself. I’ve had some really good, big moments in doing this personal development course that I’ve done the last couple of months and the 21 days as well. I thought I wouldn’t get as much out of the 21 days because I’ve been doing this three-month course.  But, the 21 days was actually amazing. And I’ve had just as big moments out of that. But I’m I’ve forgotten the question

Mark [14:07] It’s connecting to ~ when we connect and heal, whatever’s in that baggage. I’m wondering how much it just opens us up to deeper connections to ourselves and more of flow within ourselves.

Jessie [14:24] Yes, sorry.

Connecting to the Deeper Realms of Our Hearts

Mark [14:25] It’s like opening our hearts to a deeper realm?

Jessie [14:29] Yeah, you do. You have a better understanding of yourself.  You don’t just have a better understanding of yourself when you listen to all of these teachings and meditations and things like that. You also have a better understanding of other people, and why they’ve reacted the way that they’ve reacted. So, it can really, I mean, that’s, that’s half the issue right.  If you’re holding on to resentment over a particular instance in your life.  Then, if you can have some empathy for the other person in the situation, then that’s half of the letting go.

Mark [15:19] Resentment always seems to kill love?

Jessie [15:22] Yes.

Mark [15:25] And I wonder whether resentment or our connections to resentment is a result of some hurt to that love. We’re not getting enough love or whatever the case may be.  And it’s like you’re learning to connect to that ~ to open up to that?

Jessie [15:42] Yeah, that’s it. I think you get caught in a place of scarcity, where you want things so much that you actually build up walls against them.

Mark [15:59] Or the Buddha perspective which suggests, the wanting ~ is the desire. The desire becomes suffering.

Jessie [16:05] Yeah, exactly. That’s a good one.

Connecting to Our Flow-State Heals Mental Health

Mark [16:08] Yeah, how do we let that go? When you’ve worked through that stuff, and you’re really in that sweet spot, this incredible flow-state. What would you describe happens to your mental health?

Jessie [16:28] When you’re up or when you’re down?

Mark [16:30] When you’re up in that flow-state?

Jessie [16:32] Everything just becomes easier. You find you have more energy. You find you have more patience and compassion.

Mark [16:45] More resilience?

Jessie [16:47] Yeah. Things don’t bug you as much. You can let things go much easier.

Mark [16:56] It’s a nice connection, isn’t it?

Jessie [16:57] Yeah, that’s it.

My Flow-State Connection Flows to Others

Mark [17:00] Now, as that connection coming out, how does that then ~ what do you notice as you’ve really switched on connected to self, you’re in that flow-state. How does that then manifest out to others? As it’s manifesting to others? What’s radiating ~ what’s resonating with inside yourself?

Jessie [17:24] Well, I think it’s – when you’re full of love and kindness for yourself, then that’s what you pour into other people’s cups.  When your cups full and it’s overflowing then the overflow goes into everyone else’s cups. And just for the joy of giving.

Mark [17:51] What a beautiful place to be?

Jessie [17:52] Yeah.

Mark [17:54] What do you notice happens in the relationships to others?

Jessie [18:02] Well, it’s like a waterfall effect.

Jessie [18:06] They start having their cup filled, and they can start filling other people’s cups and they can start feeling the joy of giving themselves.

Mark [18:20] That flow-on effect? Pretty powerful?

Jessie [18:25] It is very powerful.

Connecting to My Self-Care

Mark [18:30] Do you run out of petrol sometimes?

Jessie [18:34] Yeah, I think you’ve got to be careful with where you’re giving is coming from. If you’re giving out of just giving forgiving and not with expectation.  Not because you feel you have to, then I think that comes easily. It’s when you start building up resentment against the giving, that you feel like you’re not getting anything back for this giving. You feel like you’re in a place where you have to give, there’s no one else that will do it. So, you have to do that kind of thing. That’s when the giving takes its toll on you. So it depends on the place where it’s coming from.

Mark [19:24] When it takes its toll, do you then check in on that and disconnect to give yourself that space to reconnect back to you and check in on yourself?

Jessie [19:37] I think you do need to check in on yourself. But not necessarily. I think you need to check on why it’s taking its toll on you and more whether the giving whatever you’re giving – whatever service is that you’re giving.  Whether that’s actually serving you or serving others, or whether it’s – because it wouldn’t be taking its toll on you if it wasn’t for the wrong reasons.

Connecting to My Heart of Enrichment

Mark [20:26] Rather than taking its toll, it’d be enriching?

Jessie [20:30] Yeah, that’s right. If you’re giving, purely for the joy of giving, without any expectation of anything back, and without any feelings of – you must do it, you’re expected to do it. If you don’t do it, no one else will do it, or any kind of resentment towards doing it. Then – if you have any of those feelings, and that’s when it goes wrong.  But, if you’re giving just purely for the reason that you want to give, and with nothing in return, then you just keep giving – it keeps flowing. It doesn’t stop if you’re doing it from the right point, like from the right place in your heart.

Mark [21:22] So, it’s a connection to a natural replenishment.  What a gift to be able to reach that point?

Jessie [21:28] Yeah. So, it’s like a little fountain or spring just full of love.

Mark [21:33] Well done. It’s a nice place to be in?

Jessie [21:37] That’s right.

Mark [21:40] And it’s like at a cellular level in our bodies. It’s just like the whole body is radiating out of that space?

Jessie [21:47] Yes.

Connecting to My ‘All That Is’

Mark [21:49] As you radiating out of that space ~ could you then describe it as a connection to the ‘All That Is’?

Jessie [22:02] Yeah, I think so. For me, that’s the universe. I think that – well, one of my favourite sayings is, if you think you can or if you think you can’t, you’re right.  I think that whatever frequency you’re sending out into the universe, whether you’re coming from a place of lack or whether you’re coming from a place of abundance, that is what the universe will give back to you. And because it’s just mirroring your frequency, it’s not that it doesn’t have your back, or it does have your back or that it’s out to get to you or that it favours you. It just simply mirrors the frequency that you give out. So, if you’re always coming from a place of lack, that you don’t have enough time, you don’t have enough love. You don’t, no one loves you. You don’t have enough money, you can’t get a good job, you can’t get a good boyfriend, whatever else, then, if that’s the mindset that you have, that’s what you kind of get. That’s what you’re going to attract. But if you can bring in the gratitude and be grateful for the things that you already have, and change your mindset, to a mindset of abundance, then you’ll start attracting all the other things along with it.

Mark [23:42] I was just interested as you’re sharing ~ what was coming through my mind or consciousness ~ was is there a difference between our heart mindset and intellectual mindset?

Connection to My Heart is Aligned

Jessie [24:00] Maybe for some people, I don’t think really for me. I’m not very good at compartmentalising things. It’s a very mental heart connection for me.

Mark [24:15] So, there are very closely aligned.

Jessie [24:18] Yeah, for sure. But I know some people are very good at compartmentalising.

Jessie [24:29] I don’t know whether that’s the chemical makeup of their brain or if there is some other reasons, instances that they’ve gone through in their lives that have made them be able to segregate their feelings from their the heart from the mind.

Connecting to the Abundance-Scarity Model

Mark [24:49] Yes, that scarcity ~ the ‘abundance-scarcity’ model.  It’s pretty powerful and it’s my belief through the “Head and Heart model” ~ it’s up on the whiteboard.  Deep down at a “soul mindfulness level of being” ~, it’s all there.  It’s total, pure abundance.  I’m wondering whether that’s our connection or the space within us that’s connected to the ‘All That Is’ ~ is it or are we ~  getting tongue twisted here.  Are we part of ~ is that ‘All That Is’ it is? Is it ~ that within us already?

Jessie [25:45] Yeah.

Mark [25:46] And it’s how do we ~ is the journey of connection about awakening to what’s truly there?

Jessie [25:54] Yep. Everything you have is already within you. Everything you need is already within you. Yeah. It’s been able to accept that you can do that. That you can have that.

Mark [26:13] Accept, believe it as well?

Jessie [26:18] Yeah. It’s one and the same, isn’t it? (Laughter)

Mark [26:26] Can split hairs here.  It’s interesting trying to these sorts of conversations around it. Because sometimes ~ it’s like the cognitive language is just not enough to…

Jessie [26:37] Explaining all the feelings, all the things.

My Sense of Self Dissolves

Mark [26:43] What happens to your sense of self ~ when you’re aligned in that ‘All That Is’ ~ what happens to your sense of self, in that all it is?

Jessie [26:56] Do you mean when you when you’re in the flow?

Jessie [27:00] I think it just, like, just being on a high just going with it.  Just everything happens, people connect with you. People just, you bump into them. You meet them, they bring things into your life at just the right time. Especially the last six months or so when I’ve been looking a little bit more into you know, positive mindset. Then, I’ve just had so many people, new people, new contacts come into my life. It just easily buffer me into the journey where I’m wanting to go. People pop up with the right information at the right time. And with the right things that you need.

Mark [28:07] Is it a bit like the law of attraction type thing?

Jessie [28:10] It is. It’s more than a coincidence. (Laughter).

Mark [28:18] The unexplainable?

Jessie [28:19] Yeah, that’s it.

Mark [28:23] It’s pretty powerful, isn’t it?

Connecting to Our Learnings from COVID19

Jessie [28:25] It really is if you open yourself to it.

Mark [28:29] I wonder is sort of whether COVID19 has sort of cocooned us in. We’re like caterpillars in that space of cocooning. And there’s a new transformation where there is a real shift ~ there’s a real opening?

Jessie [28:47] I think there have been a lot of positive things that have come out of COVID19. And whether it’s the earth’s this way of replenishing us.

Mark [29:00] Mother Earth.

Jessie [29:01] Yeah, that’s it.

Mark [29:03] Giving us a tap on the shoulder saying hey.

Jessie [29:06] It really feels like it doesn’t it.

Mark [29:08] Stop being so egoic?

Jessie [29:11] What are you doing guys?

Mark [29:11] Yeah, get out of your egos you human being ~ you are animals, after all, ~ settle Gretal. She’s letting us know. Tweaking us?

Jessie [29:26] Like naughty toddlers being sent to the naughty chair.

Positive Psychology on Steroids

Mark [29:35] Yeah, that’s like positive psychology ~ a positive mindset, that’s great.  I’m sort of wonder sometimes whether certain sections I call it ~ “positive psychology on steroids.” It’s like ease it. It bit too ~ how do we do it with equanimity, how do it in authenticity and just in the presence of allowing ~ it to unfold. There’s a different energy in it. And that energy is really ~ it’s gentle energy, caring energy that’s taking into consideration the broader perspectives. I think we’re really at a pivotal point in consciousness. What if we don’t do something ~ if we’re not careful, it may tip. That’s it ~ coming back to that joy, the shift is happening. What do you see is the result of this shift?

Jessie [31:08] I would hope that a lot of people that have found the time to slow down and to enjoy being at home and enjoy being with their partner and enjoy being with their kids or their family or their pets or their garden, would continue to take that time to slow down and be peaceful.

My Advice for a Younger Jessie

Mark [31:42] Jessie, what advice would you give a younger version of yourself embarking on her journey at this point in life?

Jessie [31:50] So maybe things?

Mark [31:53] We could have a couple of hours on that one?

Jessie [31:55] How much time have you got? I used to that reading any sort of self-help books or doing positive affirmations or meditation, any of that kind of stuff was a sign of weakness.  And I wish I had of let go of that stubbornness a little bit earlier because the release and the joy and the peace that I’ve found through doing it has been mind-blowing.

Mark [32:49] Such a gift?

Jessie [32:50] Yeah, that’s it.

Mark [32:55] What a wonderful gift to give to yourself. Joy and blessing that’s coming from it.  Not only to yourself but to others. The work you’re doing, you’re setting your path. You’re giving all that energy out. You’re giving your gifts to others. What a wonderful connection?

Jessie [33:19] That’s it.

Mark [33:22] Jessie, I’d really like to take this opportunity to thank you so much for connecting. Thank you for sharing your story. And thank you for the lovely work. Thank you for the heart of your work that you’re giving to this community and this earth.

Jessie [33:40] Thank you.

Mark [33:41] Namaste.


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