Connecting to My Awakening ~ Episode 83 ~ My Conversation with Susan Deller

Heart of Connection Podcast
Heart of Connection Podcast
Connecting to My Awakening ~ Episode 83 ~ My Conversation with Susan Deller

Connecting to My Awakening

Mark [0:00] I’d like to welcome Susan Deller to the World Heart of Connection podcast. I’m your host, Mark Randall. Susan is about people having a relationship with ourselves. Susan as a spiritual coach (Empowering You For Success), and has a lovely acronym, “do you ~ your way. Welcome, Susan.

Susan [0:16] Thank you. Awesome. Mark. Thank you so much.

Mark [0:20] Susan, is there anything further you need to add to the introduction let the audience know? What makes you tick, who you are?

My Connection to Being Curious

Susan [0:30] Thank you, Mark. I’m a curious soul and I love exploring life and I love not knowing what I don’t know.  From that viewpoint, I just try and take the labels off everything in life and just look at it as childlike curiosity.  With that evolvement comes more fun, more vibrancy, more self-love and reflection.  I don’t care what people think of me. Yes, I do ~ let’s be truthful, we all do.  There was a time when I just spent my life conforming to get the yes, you’re doing great. Looking for validation from bosses, from partners from parents, when really what I was looking or should have been looking for was validation from within.

Mark [1:19] Can I check-in, what was it like to connect yourself back then, compared to connecting to yourself now?

Becoming Connected to Me

Susan [1:29] It wasn’t a connection at all.  So, there was no relationship within. To be honest, there was an emptiness. But I knew there was something more otherwise I wouldn’t have been looking for something. So intrinsically, the soul was speaking up saying, there is something more in my role and my mission, my purpose was to find that. To find that was to unveil the limiting beliefs and I think that’s intrinsically what we’re all here for.  The mission is to come back to self and come back to heart, come back to knowing.  Doing that is to share what works for you and if people want to use it fantastic, if they don’t, great. No one is better than anybody else, we are all doing great.  But if we can hold our hand out to somebody else and lift them up or shine your light in whatever way that is, and create a path for someone else, that’s so beautiful.  Because it’s not about the individual, it’s about all of us.

Mark [2:34] What awaken you to the connection to yourself?

My Awakening in my Connection

Susan [2:38] That there was more because there was a gentle whisper that was whispering to me.  When I stood still and allowed the heart to speak to me, and I stopped and listened.  It just got louder and louder. So, I trusted that, and I trusted myself more.

Mark [2:57] When it got louder and louder and you actually listened into it and started to operate from there. What was the heart-opening like?

Connecting to My Vulnerability

Susan [3:08] Very – puts you in a very vulnerable state.  To meet your shadows is quite confronting. I’m not going to lie about it. There were days where I cried where my husband wouldn’t even know.  He’d come home from work and ‘how was your day’ ~ great.  I did not need to share my story with him because I was showing him my story, by being my true self.  If I just planted on with all these words to him, all that stuff is ego speaking.  I say often to my clients, you can talk as much as you like to your children, but until you show them the way, that’s when they’ll listen. That’s when they’ll know.

Mark [3:52] Yes, showing the way ~ we can ‘talk the talk’ but ‘walk the walk’ is a different kettle of fish. Were you showing by energy rather than words?

My Energy Connection

Susan [4:05] All of the above, because everything is energy. We are energy in motion. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.  In this physicality, this body that we are in is just a containment.  What I find is when people are feeling vulnerable or sad, or angry, or letdown or judging themselves, they actually make themselves smaller.  When in fact, they should be making themselves bigger and expanding. Because then you lift your eyes up, and your feet point to the direction you should be going.  You see the opportunities, you see the events, because you’re expansive, and you’re aware.  The people ~ the master appears when the student’s ready kind of stuff.  It works and the energy ~ I just love the energy.  The first thing I asked myself every morning, is who am I energetically presenting as today?  How do I want to feel?  How do I want to be?  With that comes radical accountability. I think that’s what’s happened for a lot of us.  We handed over our power so many others when we take back and be accountable for our emotions, our feelings, our thoughts, the way we behave in the way we treat others. That is where the true magic is.

Mark [5:25] How do you connect yourself?  What ~ do you have a process to engage with Susan?

Intuition is my Process of Connection to Myself

Susan [5:33] I trust my intuition and metaphysically we’re being communicated with all the time, through our emotions, through our thoughts.  When harness and tries to trap you into disbelief or limit on yourself, you’re like – where’s this coming from?  Is it a memory or have I taken on someone else’s belief?  Just a gentle inquiry about yourself, Don’t get too ~ I try not to get too heavy in it. Because we’re here to have fun to live. Fundamentally, we’re here to have fun. I think we all forgot that. We’re here to have fun. Smile, laugh, connect, be, enjoy, bliss for all the words you want to use.  But who does that? Do you do that? I do that. No one else can do that for us. So, people think are when I get a new job, I’ll be happy. I’d be happy now, then you’ll get a new job.

Mark [6:30] What are the indicators to you that you’re not connecting to you in the now?

Signs I have Disconnected to me

Susan [6:37] Judgement, I’ve become very judgy. Like, critical. I see ~ I only see limit or sadness.  I’m like, where is this coming from?  Why am I asking for evidence of that? So, it’s not to say there isn’t sadness and angry out there.  But, it’s to say it’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to be happy and it’s okay to be in love. But just own it.

Mark [7:12] It’s okay to connect to those aspects of self?

Susan [7:15] Yeah.

Mark [7:17] When we connect to those aspects of self, I wonder whether that’s an invitation to explore deeper to what is that particular self-protecting?

Susan [7:29] Powerful question.

Mark [7:32] And the more we have that curiosity, I wonder whether that facilitates a deeper awakening, an insight to self and connection to self?

Connecting to the Deeper Aspects Self

Susan [7:45] It’s like an unearthing. It’s like lifting the box up in the jewels and finding the jewels. Instead of looking for the key, maybe it was already unlocked the whole time.  I think sometimes we try and over-complicate life when in its simplest form ~ is its truest form and brings for me anyway, the greatest joy in the simplicity.

Mark [8:13] Yes, there is the ‘parable of the beggar.’  The beggar was sitting on the box, begging for money.  The person came up and said, ‘well, I’m not going to give you money. What are you sitting on?  The beggar oh the box.  He said, ‘why don’t you look in the box’ and so the beggar finally looked in the box and the box is full of gold coins. A good parable that one.

Susan [8:37] Powerful, powerful.

Mark [8:39] As you connect to yourself, do you notice an increase in the flow of energy to you and others?

Connecting to the Flow of Connection to Others

Susan [8:50] Absolutely. You don’t feel tired. There’s no lethargy. The choice to choose nutritious food becomes ease.  The choice to mix with people that make you feel vibrant and inspire you and push you forward rather than limit you.  Women are very bad at keeping women small. I’m sorry, not all women, but a lot of women have jealousy and they don’t enable. Whereas, I’m tapping into more and more women who are supporting women and helping women.  With that, they are helping men as well. So, I’m not sure where this is going.  When we can stop saying men and women and just recognise this as one, we are humans ~ I know there’s a duality ~ masculinity and femininity and the Yin and Yang, I get all that.  When we as humans can start behaving in a harmonious way for each other and stop the divide, I think that will help us a great deal.

Mark [10:04] If we look deep down within the psyche of the human being, the depth ~ is the spiritual essence in all.

I see you when you see me

Susan [10:15] I see you when you see me.  I am sad when you’re sad, and I’m happy when you’re happy. It’s all law of motion ~ law of oneness.

Mark [10:24] Yeah, that’s the energetic connection, not only just the energetic connection, the mirror neurons that we, have.  As we connect to that, how healing can that be?

Susan [10:40] Beyond. Beyond our knowing.   It’s funny that you mentioned the neurons because neurons are pathways.  The connectedness between the neurons, if we just do things differently, think differently. Even if we were to clean our teeth in our left hand instead of our right, the brains like oh, this is different. Even just driving home in different ways, oh, this is different.  Because how many times do, we just live a day or get home and go – how did I do?  Did I even drive home because we’ve got into a place of just stoic, stagnation?

Mark [11:15] Familiarity. Yeah.  From a neuroscience perspective, the brain loves the shortcuts because it conserves energy.  There was a neuroscientist I was following ~ he used to drive home deliberately a different way every night to say to the brain – hey, hang on a minute.

Susan [11:36] Imagine if we did that with our beliefs and our thoughts.

Connecting beyond our Knowing

Mark [11:42] Yeah, that’s it’s noticing those belief systems.  Becoming aware of them.   If I’m honest, a lot of the belief systems are whether they’re deeply held.  I jokingly say that my intellectual brain is 75% negative and it’s not until I’ve come into my heart ~ connected to the heart.  There’s more peace there and as there’s more peace within the heart, the mind and the belief systems change. There’s a different connection.

Connecting to Our Divine

Susan [12:17] It’s divine, isn’t it?

Mark [12:20] It is divine.

Susan [12:23] And it’s okay. Like I’m sitting here. Just feeling divinely blessed that I have an opportunity to talk with you. I did not know you two weeks ago I had never heard of you.  The universe connects at the right time.  That’s the fun that’s the alchemy. That’s the magic. That’s the being, that’s awesome.  Let’s all just get really curious and fun.  Let’s go out looking for more and more that fills our cup.  Because we must fill our cup first before we can help anyone else.  The number of parents out there that exhausted.  I share a story. I was in a car park a couple of months ago and this woman. I said, ‘how are you’? She said, “I’m exhausted.”  My children are all sick – one is stressed one had broken bone. I said, “What are you doing for you”? I can’t possibly do anything for me that would be wrong. I said, “you need to feel your cup before you can feel anybody else’s”.

Mark [13:23] How do you go about feeling connected to yourself and filling your cup?

Connecting to my ‘Now’ Moment

Susan [13:27] For me especially in this climate we’re in now.  My yoga mat is my best friend at the moment. Just brings me into this space of now.  Eckhart Tolle talks about being in the now.  But what does that even mean?  But it is.  It’s just that breath in, hold it and before you exhale, the in-between is the now. It’s so beautiful, don’t have to be anything, do anything, go anywhere, be anywhere now.

Mark [14:00] Beautiful connection.

Susan [14:03] You look at babies, they’ve got it.  Beautiful, awesome yoga.  Look at them ~ their bodies are perfect Yogi’s. The curious, they haven’t been tarnished.

Mark [14:15] Yeah, and that baby’s still within us. It hasn’t gone away ~ it’s still there somewhere.  Just years of conditioning has stopped us from accessing (laughter)…

Learning to Laugh at Ourselves

Susan [14:25] Yeah and it’s okay to laugh at ourselves. I mean, no one’s perfect. For God’s sake, I’m nowhere near it. I’m just saying, I’m doing me my way. And I’m not living in liminal anymore.  I’ve lived that life. I’ve lived in despair, I’ve lived in, ‘I don’t like this’.  I don’t like the way I feel.  I don’t like going to work, I don’t like but now it’s like, okay, radical accountability.  What are you going to do?  Step up.  Only, I can do that. Only Mark can do that.  But if we’re helping people along the way, awesome. If we’re not ~ doesn’t validate us though does it?  I think what we need in today’s world is resilience.  If I can just draw my own family experience, I have four beautiful nieces who lost their mother to cancer.  They are so resilient, so beautiful and getting on with life.  I think what they’ve learnt is to take the best part of their Mums soul and live with that in their journey~ instead of why did I lose my Mum? I’ll use the best part of my Mum on my journey. Does that make sense?

 Connection to Others

Mark [15:38] As you connect to others, how do you keep in a gauge or awareness on ~ how full your cup is?

Susan [15:52] Just trusting my intuition, how I feel, my emotions. As a spiritual life coach, I would never engage with a client if I was not ready to be in a sacred space with them. That would not be fair on them and it would not be fair on me. Gracefully, I haven’t had to cancel due to that. But if I did, I wouldn’t. So, it’s just trusting the gentle intuition. The difference between intuition and ego is the ego’s very loud.  It’s very bossy. You should be doing this. The analogies like the puppy dog or the monkey talk, it’s just insistent. But when you’re in the intuition, it’s a gentle whisper. It’s a gentle knowing. It’s just, you just know what’s right.

Connecting to Depth of Our Hearts

Mark [16:37] When you connect into that, connecting to the depth of your heart?

Susan [16:40] Yep, absolutely. If we could just put our heart front and centre but the number of people that cannot say they love themselves. It’s disturbing. It’s sad.  I think if we can get a relationship with our self as our forefront. And the relationship with our self as the number one protocol, and the number one mission, the number one purpose for every single day.  I think this life will be easier and more lovely for a lot of people ~ because people are waking up. They’re not staying in relationships that are toxic anymore. But with that brings vulnerability. With that brings – ooh, what will I do now.  With that brings a whole canvas of unknowing.  But what that also does, it gives you an opportunity to treat it like a canvas and paint the story of your future the way you want it to be. How beautiful is that?

Mark [17:40] Life is like an art piece in progress isn’t it really?

Susan [17:44] Never ending.

Mark [17:45] Never ending.

Connecting to My Body’s Spiritual Release

Mark [17:48] As you connect to that spiritual ~ just wanting to follow up on what you’re sharing just then about connecting to that spiritual space.  What happens in your body Is you engage and connect to that deeper level? Do you notice happens in your body?

Susan [18:08] There’s a ~ just a beautiful release. There’s a connection with ‘All That Is.’  You just become the tree, you become the water you become ~ nothing yet your everything.

Susan [18:27] That sounds is probably weird. I have not taken a special pill before we came here (laughter)..

Mark [18:36] Can I have one? (Laughter)

Susan [18:36] As my son said once at Year 12 ~ he said gee a lot of my students take those pills with the smiley faces, I said, ‘don’t you’?

Connecting to the ‘All That Is’

Mark [18:48] Well, they’re using those pills in therapy. They’re doing a lot of research through MAPS in America.  As an adjunct to sort of psychotherapy.  It is really interesting you already labelled the term the ‘All That Is’ you connected to it automatically just then.  It’s a great segue into the next section.  Yeah, the connection to the ‘All That Is’ ~ what happens to your sense of egoic self in the ‘All That Is’?

Susan [19:19] For me, you become more aware of it quicker. Whereas, like, the words will come out and you’re like, that wasn’t appropriate.  I should not have thought that or felt that. So, the lifting of awareness becomes the forefront.  Because you’re acting from a place of love, instead of a place of fear.

Mark [19:44] Is there space, a place, a process that facilitates that for you? Do you have – How do you do it?

Connecting to my Own Healing

Susan [19:58] I’m a Reiki practitioner.  So, I will my own healing, but water is the place that brings me back to. It’s everything.  It’s a cleanser, it’s an embodiment of everything.  Shower work every morning through the crown chakra ~ the water will come and down through the drain all the negativity will go.  Then draw from Mother Gaia back up. Bring in and fill all the chakras with that energetic love because we’re energy. So, just like you fuel the car with petrol, fuel your being with energy.  If you feel a block, your shoulders sore or your throat sore.  Your throat chakra ~ you’re not speaking your truth. If you feel your hips are out of whack ~ you’re financially worried about stability and maybe look at your relationships with men.  Metaphysically we are beautifully being guided. So just do that ~ just have a little emotional conversation with yourself.

Mark [21:03] What’s it like when you connect to that guide?

Susan [21:06] Beautiful, because it’s a consciousness that is greater and far beyond. So, it’s not the subconscious. It’s a greater consciousness, which is out there.  All we have to do is ask and it will be given without sounding like some kind of minister on some pedestal which is ridiculous.  If we ask, it will be given.  Just like we need to ask our guides to help. They can’t come just like ~ you couldn’t come to my house and walk in you have to press the doorbell and I’ll answer. Is that make sense? You have to have to ask for ~ ask for help on whatever level that is for you. It works for me, so I choose to do that path. Other people may choose to do it in other ways.

Disconnecting from my Guide

Mark [21:57] And when you’ve disconnected from the guides?

Susan [22:02] Fumbling around, upset, angry, frustrated.  The universe delivers on a vibrational language and everybody talks about this law of attraction.  Write down your mantras. Does your journal work, but guess what?  Life is a mirror and the mirror is matching your energy. So, if you’re feeling the vibe, alive and really wanting to get even more curious about what you don’t know, it’ll be delivered to you. Because energy matches energy.  And the beautiful thing with the transmutation of perpetual energy, we can change in an instant.  People like box this is going to be hard work for me to change.  Subconscious hears that and says right, I will make it hard for you. That’s what you want. What if you simply said, I love with ease and flow that things are changing for me and I trust and a subconscious right okay. That’s the energy she’s in ~ I’ll give her a bit more of that.

Connecting to our Subconscious Needs

Mark [23:00] I wonder whether the subconscious responds lovingly to that because ~ it’s then getting met?

Susan [23:08] Absolutely.  And the hearts like, ‘hello, hi’ ~ I’ve been here the whole time. Subconscious is like, okay, I’ll mirror the heart. And the hearts like, can’t we just all do this together? The mind, the spirit, the heart. Let’s all get on board.

Mark [23:27] Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually?

Susan [23:30] Let’s take back the reins.  Let’s get our hands back on the steering wheel. Let’s be radically accountable for ourselves.

Connecting to Our Flow-State

Mark [23:40] When you’re connected on all those four levels, do you notice a difference in your flow-state?

Susan [23:46] It is just flow-state and you don’t question. There are no questions. It’s ease and flow. How did that work so easily when you retrospectively look at it and you go – maybe I should do more of that.

Mark [24:04] Yeah, how do we reconnect to it?

Susan [24:09] Trusting.

Mark [24:09] Or have we forgotten it.  Have we just allowed ourselves to disconnect from that flow-state? Is the flow state just waiting for us to return?

Susan [24:25] It never left.

Flow-State is Always in our Hearts

Susan [24:28] It’s always there. That calmness, that beautifulness ~ it never left ~ we left. The flow is the divine perfection that is within.  And when we just go back to that ~ our heart never leaves us. We leave the heart sometimes ~ we harden our heart. But we did that.

Mark [24:56] Yeah, we’ve ~ do we do that? Or could we have been taught that through our social conditioning to protect the heart?  I always design the heart ~ there’s a part of the hearts that’s really fragile, ‘the delicate little vegemite’.  But deeper down in the heart ~ there is that essence.

Susan [25:21] Why would we as humans create a society that does that to us though.  It’s interesting, isn’t it?

Susan [25:29] Why is it that governments keep a small?

Mark [25:32] Good question?  Perhaps governments keep us small because if we’re able to raise consciousness, we might be asking questions about change?

Susan [25:45] Do you feel that happening?

Our Consciousness is Being Raised

Mark [25:49] Yes, I do. There is consciousness-raising. There can be more consciousness-raising, perhaps take the fluoride out of the water to allow our pineal gland to ~ is that right the pineal gland to open up? I believe certain substances, mushrooms, LSD can raise consciousness in healthy levels. But it doesn’t matter how we get there ~ it’s how do we come home to that spirit essence and connect to the spiritual essence of the ‘All That Is’ ~ that is us. And I think that’s happening more and more.

Susan [26:36] Absolutely. And I don’t think words can. I can’t say to somebody get back to your spiritual self.  It becomes an energetic drawing back to truth.  Because we wouldn’t be looking for something out there. If we didn’t intrinsically know there is something more out there for us. Why would we try and get to a Zenith if we didn’t believe they were one?

Our Buddha Nature Resonates

Mark [27:09] When you were sharing that ~ just the words that were coming into my consciousness ~ was resonating with you ~ in your zone.  It’s like, my Buddha nature meets your Buddha-nature or whatever the terminology or labels we want to use.  It’s that energetic resonation of that space and what a powerful connection that can be.

Susan [27:33] And it liquefies the eye.  So, I mean I feel like crying right now because I’m happy in bliss.  You know, people are scared of the flowery words to love, happiness, joy, bliss, awareness, consciousness, and they’re like, what does that even mean? We’ll just have a little curiosity and just have a little look. See how it works out for you?

Mark [27:55] And as they say, ‘the eyes are the window to the Soul.’

Susan [28:01] Yes.

Mark [28:03] And what an incredible connection to have and to be a part of.

Susan [28:08] Magic.

Connecting to Our Innate Compassion & Loving-kindness

Mark [28:08] And it’s in this space that ~ this is where the World Heart of Connection Day came from.  Is when we’re having these conversations and we connect at that level. The energy in the room, the vibration between myself and the guest brought about the energy of loving-kindness and compassion that just reminded me of the Boxing Day tsunami. And as human beings, we are powerfully connected in that way.

Susan [28:41] Beyond.

Mark [28:42] Beyond. What a gift.

Susan [28:46] Amazing and that the energy is so healing.  When people choose to heal themselves, they heal themselves, via energy.

Mark [29:04] They heal themselves we don’t.  That’s right ~ spot on. Beautiful connection. Susan, is there any advice you’d have for a younger Susan heading into her life journey right now?

Susan [29:21] It’s a good question and if there’s one thing that I would have said to my younger self and I say it to my beautiful children is just “do you ~ your way”.  Don’t copy. Just because it worked out that way for somebody else doesn’t mean it’s your way.  Just do you ~ your way. If you’ve got a crazy laugh, laugh it loud. If you got a crazy hair, wear it proudly. We are all individual and yet we are all one ~ but do your individually your way because that is your gift.

Mark [29:59] It is your uniqueness.

Susan [30:00] And your story is important. So, if you’ve got a story, don’t live in the story if it’s not a great story, start a new one.

Mark [30:11] Thank you for the opportunity to connect with you today ~ for me to connect to your unique story. It’s been a blessing. Wonderful connection and the wisdom and the guidance that you’ve got is just beyond words.

Susan [30:32] Thank you. Bless you.

Mark [30:33] Namaste.

Susan [30:34] Namaste.


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