Connecting to my Inner Still Voice & my Dreams
Mark [0:00] Good morning Lynette Fox, it’s lovely to be able to welcome you to the Heart of Connection Podcast conversation. I’ve known Lynette for many years and Lynette was a wonderful trainer in Transpersonal and Emotional counselling. It’s now changed its name to the Association of Transpersonal and Experiential Psychotherapists (ATEP). Lynette had been a trainer from Queensland and would come down for nearly two years for 10 day blocks over that two year period. There was a break in between and it was an amazing commitment that Lynette gave to 10 of us to train us in transpersonal and emotional release counselling. So I’d like to thank you Lynette for that. Lynette by way of introduction, would you mind offering listeners a little bit of a synopsis on your kind self?
Lynette [1:00] Thank you.
Connections from Primary School Teaching to Jungian Psychotherapist
Lynette [1:03] Well, originally I was a teacher, a primary school teacher. I became more interested in in-service training. I worked on a really interesting program called the ‘early illiteracy in-service course,’ which is a national program helping and training early childhood and early primary teachers in early literacy strategies. That’s when I started to work with adults more, and I really enjoyed that. I also really loved working with children and then at some point, I changed over, I heard a call from within me to leave teaching, but I didn’t know what else to do. So I resisted leaving teaching at first and finally, I found there was no more energy to be in teaching. So I developed chronic fatigue and as I result I took a few months off and then my energy didn’t still didn’t come back so I took some more time off. Then I started to do in that time, just be interested in a range of different interests that I had. So I started investigating those. I went off and did a one day programme called emotional release for children. It was while I was doing that, by the end of the day, I thought, this is the work I want to do. I started training with Mark Pearson, and his Emotional First Aid for children course – it was a 15-day course at that time. I then decided to train as a counsellor in order to put that into action. So that’s how I found my way into Transpersonal and Emotional Release Counselling.
Connection to Mark Pearson & Patrica Nolan
Mark [3:21] Was Patricia Nolan involved with Mark back in those days around the Emotional First Aid for children?
Lynette [3:26] Yes, that’s right. She was Patricia Nolan and Mark they were actually developing all their ideas and strategies. They worked in a particular orphanage I think. They were working in children’s home or orphanage, where they develop their attitudes and work with the children that had all sorts of emotional issues in the home. Mark was moving to start working in Toowoomba, with Pat Quinn at the Portunicla centre. When he was working at the Portunicula centre, that’s where I met him as he had put a flyer out for this one day program. I went along to it. I lived in Brisbane, but I traveled Toowoomba. That opened up to eventually I did all of Mark’s training and I trained as a Transpersonal and Emotional Release counsellor with Pat Quinn in Toowoomba, and Mark. After this, Mark and Helen Wilson started their own business and at that point, Pat was looking for staff members. I applied actually to be an apprentice trainer and I worked there on a part-time basis for 10 years, roughly. During that time was when I took a break and was working in Melbourne with you, Mark at that point. So, there was a period where I wasn’t working in Toowoomba because it was a bit much being away so often.
Mark [5:26] There was a number of blocks, didn’t we? Throughout that year – 10-day blocks, and you’d come down for the full blocks.
Lynette [5:37] Yes, it was a big commitment. I think the blocks were for 6 days actually in class. I would come down two days before to finalize the preparation with Corrie van den Bosch and to also I think a few days afterward was to fine-tune some planning for the next block. We had an overview plan, but that was always being refined in response to what was learned in that block and what might need to be picked up in the next block? There was lots of reflection to be done in as two days afterward.
Mark [6:28] In terms of the Heart of Connection, as you journeyed through the change from teaching through to the transpersonal work, did that uncover or open a doorway to a connection to yourself?
Connection to My Self Deepens through Transpersonal work
Lynette [6:47] It certainly did. I had become interested in personal development in the early 1980s, probably 35 to 40 years ago. I remember the saying, which was love yourself first. That was completely a challenge for me to do that and this is before I came into the work. So, I was doing some personal development work, different programmes that were run. Even though love yourself first was the truth, I couldn’t translate it into any kind of consistent action in my own life. I spent a lot of time in my life in a state of struggle and effort, trying to prove something, to be someone else, trying to achieve some ideal, envying those who had, what I wanted. When I came across the transpersonal and emotional release counselling, and that was actually 1992.
My Journey into Jungian Psychology
It started me on a path, which included Jungian psychology. I found Jungian psychology expansive, it was not reducing me to – this is normal that’s not normal. Jungian psychology looked at all kinds of behavior, and said, there’s a purpose in everything and looking for that purpose. So this spoke to me, inspired me and gave me heart. The thing that transpersonal and emotional release counselling had, was it encouraged us to do our own therapy. To have therapy. So after years of personal therapy, and more recently, eight years of twice a week analysis, I have let go of having ideals or trying to do something. I’ve let go of the struggle. It started with the transpersonal and emotional release counselling and it’s continued in a more intense way. I have relaxed into experiencing my life, with its highs and lows, and to surrender into what I know, is my deepest nature, my way of being in the world. I participate in activities that I enjoy. So, I see this is my heart connection to myself. I paint. I think about food and I am a bit of a foodie. I love to grow things and got chooks in the yard. The other activity, I enjoy spending time with my grandchildren. More recently I’ve started a writing group with a dear friend. We meet once a month, and we write and we share writing with each other. I realised that I’m an introvert who thinks deeply. A lot of those thoughts don’t get out, so I’m discovering that I like to write. I am exploring this as an expression of the thoughts I would normally keep hidden.I have relaxed into experiencing my life, with its highs and lows, and to surrender into what I know, is my deepest nature, my way of being in the world. Click To Tweet
Connection to my Heart brings Relaxation & Satisfaction in my Body
Mark [10:32] What do you experience in your body when you connect to your heart?
Lynette [10:38] Well it’s a deep sense of relaxation and satisfaction. It’s a strange word satisfaction, but it’s a word that’s been coming to me recently and it just seems appropriate to describe how I feel. We have a dog, and I’ve never really had dogs in my life. Ziggy is a little, miniature poodle and he is in a state of delight all the time. When I’ve been working, or at my desk too long, he comes in because I work from home. He comes in and he draws me out to play with him. It’s such a delight, so we play ball for a period of time until you might give me the ball anymore, because he’s tired, and he holds it and chews it. So we stop but I think about him and he doesn’t have the capacity for forward thinking. I think this is something that has caused me to stress a lot in my life, is my forward-thinking. Whereas, nowadays I’m staying more in the Ziggy zone of being in the now moment. So, I think my heart connection to myself, really is fullest when I’m in the now moment.
Mark [12:23] Is there peace and freedom in that now moment? Is there peace and freedom in that now moment?
Connecting to the feeling of being myself
Lynette [12:34] Well, it feels like I can be myself. There’s something very freeing about being oneself and being in the now moment. This is where the moment that ideas come to me. Where creativity arrives, new thoughts, ideas, things that I can explore.There's something very freeing about being oneself and being in the now moment. Click To Tweet
Mark [13:02] Does energy radiate in your body when you’re in that space? For those thoughts and ideas to come through? Is that an energy?
Connection Radiates my Imagination
Lynette [13:12] I would say it does but for me, it seems to radiate in my imagination. I suppose the imagination is an extension of the body? Well, I believe imagination resides in the body.
Lynette [13:38] I know that when I’m relaxed when I’m feeling satisfied when my imagination is more active. Are you still there?
Mark [13:51] Yes, I am listening, just deeply listening.
Lynette [13:55] Thank you, Mark.
Mark [13:56] Yes, I am really deeply listening to the words, and the connection that you are sharing about yourself is very powerful, very deep. When you connect yourself like that, how does that then manifest to your connection to others?
Connecting to Being Present in the Moment
Lynette [14:18] Well, it’s funny, you should ask that because I was just thinking, all my counseling training that is I remember we used to do Karma Yoga, which is, you know, 50% of attention to yourself 50% of the attention to the task. The work I now do as a Jungian psychotherapist, I would say that what I’ve learned in my – I’ll call my personal process. What I’ve learned, here is what I use when I’m actually working with my client. In being in the moment, being present, with an open mind, not thinking necessarily about anything other than just having space in my mind and my heart, to listen to their story. To listen to their issues, to hear them. I listened to my body because I have bodily responses and those bodily responses help me to know and understand something of what the person is wanting to express. My body picks up information, not only from what they are saying to me, but it’s some information from their unconscious.In being in the moment, being present, with an open mind, not thinking necessarily about anything other than just having space in my mind and my heart, to listen to their story. Click To Tweet
Connection to others through my Painting
Sometimes, I don’t understand the information that comes for quite some time but eventually, it does make sense to me. So my connection with others is, in my work. I connect through others through my paintings. I showed a recent painting, which was my portrait. This is my second portrait and I showed it to my daughter and she started to cry. She said, “it’s absolutely beautiful.” So it was a surprise but I mean, I did like the painting, but I was surprised that it would affect somebody so deeply.
Mark [16:59] So that person, your daughter connected to the energy and to the emotion, her emotion and the emotion that you expressed in that painting. Was that what happened?
Lynette [17:09] That’s what it seemed to be. Other people have really warmed to that painting as well. It was at my art teachers studio, and she had an open studio. She told me the next time I was at the art class, she said, all of her paintings were on display. So it was a big thing for her to say this. She said, I asked one of the visitors, what was their favourite painting and they said it was the portrait in the workroom, which was mine.
Connecting to Others through My Creativity of Art & Writing
Lynette [17:50] So it did speak to others as well. So, I think that my heart connection to others is coming through my painting, and certainly my writing. When I share my writing, with my writing partner, she says it really moves and inspires her. The other thing is my love for my children and my grandchildren. Also through my garden, I have and like to have a beautiful space. So when my clients come because I work from home, they comment on how beautiful the garden is, and friends and others. So, I connect with others through and what I create, I suppose.
Mark [18:42] When you’re talking about working with clients before, is there an intuitive connection when you’re body’s resonating? Are you picking up stuff? Would you describe that as an intuitive connection?
My Sensate & Intuitive Connection
Lynette [19:00] I think it’s a combination of a couple of functions. I think there’s the sensate function. I think it’s a feeling function and I think it’s an intuitive function. Those are parts of me I think, collect information. When I pay attention to sensate, how the sensate might appear, is that I might feel like I have a pain in my body. Or I might feel like I’ve got something caught in my throat. I might feel a heaviness or I might feel incredible tiredness in my body. There was one person, I was working with deep depression and I would feel overcome with tiredness. Yet when she went it would leave. So that made me question – what is this tiredness about? It actually helped our work together. So, I would say there’s a range of those three main functions that give me particular information. Sometimes, when I’m working with a client, I might feel some anger, I might feel quite – I’m not angry, but I just feel this anger. That can be related to, I’ve learned to a range of things, but it may be connected with some anger that is actually in them that they are yet to be aware of. Somehow my body picks it up.
Mark [20:59] That’s an amazing connection, isn’t it? That’s that sense and that depth of that connection to others that we can all have. Particular if we’re open to receiving all the information on many different levels.
Connection to Intuitive comes from stilling my Mind
Lynette [21:18] I think it comes from a long time of learning to still my mind, learning to still. I don’t see a lot of clients and the reason I don’t have a busy practice is that there wouldn’t be enough space for me to actually to feel, to be still. The business would draw me out of the state of being connected with myself and my body. I am using my body as a tool, in my work, and I don’t think I would be as an effective worker if I wasn’t connected with my body.
Mark [22:13] Is stilling your mind, a really important process to connect your body?
Lynette [22:20] I think so because the mind can have a lot of chatter and be very busy and it can be very noisy. Whereas the body is a much still a quieter and the voice that comes from the body is a quieter voice. So there needs to be a certain amount of stillness in order to hear that small quiet voice from within.
Connecting & Listening to Quiet Voice Within
Lynette [22:56] That’s what I call it, the small quiet, from within.
Mark [22:59] Learning to listen to that small voice within?
Lynette [23:06] Yes. Well, I have come to value it. I get a little bit nervous when I can’t hear it at times. I think okay, too much is going on and I need to, to be quiet again. It’s probably one of the reasons I’ve chosen to work from home is to not be out in the world. I can actually do a routine in the morning that gets me ready to work without being out in traffic trying to get somewhere and then having to still myself again.
Mark [23:46] Yes, it’s a good one that one. I just wanted to pick up on the beautiful voice within and see if that’s a segue into the connection to ‘All That Is.’ Is there a correlation to – what happens to that inner voice, when you are in your connection to the ‘All That Is”?
Quiet Voice Within is ‘All That Is’
Lynette [24:12] Well, funny you should say that because I think that ‘still’ voice, that small voice is ‘All That Is.’ It’s a voice that inside of me, I wouldn’t say I hear it all the time. In that, I can remember one time when I was about to do something. That still voice woke me up in the night and said, Lynette, don’t do this. I actually thought there was somebody in the room and I woke up out of a sleep bolt upright and was looking around to see who spoke to me and there was no one in the room. At that point, I lived by myself and then I lay down again. I had made a decision the night before that I was going to do something, I was going to reconnect with somebody that I had let go. I was going to meet up with them the next morning. I went back off to sleep and the voice said again, “Lynette, don’t do this.” I once again, I sat bolt up upright thinking, there’s somebody in the room speaking to me. It wasn’t, I learned that it was this voice and I didn’t go and meet up with this person. I sent a message saying that I would not attend. I’ve been listening to that voice more closely.
Mark [26:04] How does that? What facilitates it? Does it just happen? Is there a process that you use?
Connecting to my Dreams for Years
Lynette [26:16] Wow. That’s a really good question. I think that it started when I started listening to my dreams and started to record my dream. So I’ve been recording my dreams now for over probably over 40 years. Yeah, so listening to my dreams, taking my dream seriously. I think that the dreams are part of that still small voice and it’s like the willingness to hear something from deeper within me. Dreams come to us when we’re least conscious, where we’ve gone into sleep, we’re unconscious, in a sense. The dreams come then and taking them seriously, I think I have built a relationship with a deeper part of myself and I’m continuing to want to hear that more.I think that the dreams are part of that still small voice and it's like the willingness to hear something from deeper within me. Click To Tweet
Mark [27:21] That deeper part of yourself. Could you describe or do experience that deeper part of yourself what happens to it when it’s out in nature. When you are out in your garden, out with the chooks?
Connection to My One With All
Lynette [27:37] Well, I feel when I’m out in the garden and I’m at with the chooks and when I’m playing with Ziggy the dog, or when I’m with my grandchildren, I feel that I am one with all. I feel with the grandchildren, connected to the future and the past. Also, I have a great-grandchild now, he is six months old. So I’m great-grandmother as well as a grandmother.
Lynette [28:06] So that is connected me with a generational kind of future and past in that way. On the horizontal plane certainly has connected me more with nature. I care more about nature. I feel incredibly distressed when I go past an area where they have just torn all the trees down. Living on the north side of Brisbane, it’s just happening every call everywhere I turn at the moment. There was a lot of bush in this area. It’s strange going out Bray Parkway, this is a sign, a yellow sign on the side of the road that has a koala and says beware of koalas. They’ve just torn about 10 acres of forest down beside that sign. I just can’t – my mind can’t connect with that somehow it just seems incongruous that this area should be torn down. It’s got a sign saying beware of koalas a road sign.
Connection to Nature
Mark [29:28] It seems to be happening more and more doesn’t it. I am wondering whether we disconnecting to nature?
Lynette [29:39] I think that there are other things are more important. As I get older, nature seems to have a bigger role. I think I’m connecting with my own deepest nature and at the deepest nature level, we are animals. It’s like this is happening to our brothers and sister animals and it’s also happening to us. As our planet gets hotter and drier. The trees hold an enormous amount of water, their roots, this stems, their leaves. They transpire at night allowing the dew to go into the air. The grass used to always be wet with dew. I remember as a child because our toilet was out the back. Nowadays I can go into my yard in the morning and there’s no dew.
Mark [30:42] I just want to check, the deeper we connect to ourselves and to the ‘All That Is, I wonder whether we as animals and mammals can actually feel that pain of nature for what’s happening to nature?
Lynette [31:03] I can only talk about when my puppy is upset. I feel that very keenly were as I had used to have no connection with dogs at all. I really get what’s going on for him. I can’t even put into words, but I just know that something’s not right for him.
Lynette [31:32] I watched him when he’s excited and I watched him when my husband goes to work who is his main buddy and to see how he mopes a little. I would never think that. I think the animals have more feelings, then we give them credit for and I think they can become quite despondent. I feel that as I feel my own feelings more deeply, I’m connecting more with nature and the things of nature.
Lynette [32:16] I see this parallel between connecting with my own deepest nature.
Mark [32:20] It sounds so beautiful to listen to your story – just my body is just resonating as I listen to your story it is incredible.
Lynette [32:32] Thank you, Mark.
Mark [32:35] One of the questions I’ve been asking guests is there a piece of advice that you would have for a young woman or a young man following in your footsteps that you’d like to share?
My Advice for Younger People
Lynette [32:49] Well, I think it’s about finding their own footsteps and not actually following in it anyone else’s. Working to really discover their own deepest nature and being themselves in life, following they’re – Tav Sparks talks about the IPS, the inner positioning system. We all have an inner positioning system, just like a GPS. The inner positioning system is guided – us being guided by our feeling life, not our angry feelings or disturbing feelings or distressing feelings. What actually feels – when we make a decision, what we feel then comfortable with? If we are uncomfortable with that decision, then it maybe we need to adjust that decision. So, it’s actually we gradually listening to our feelings and finding a way to our comfort.
Mark [34:13] Just mindful of time, I to keep the conversations for about half an hour. Is there anything else that you’d like to share, just in closing the conversation. This lovely warmth, beautiful conversation.
Connection to Valuing your Family, your time and you
Lynette [34:33] I think to value your family. Look after the world that you’re in. Look after the small things. Look after your time and look after your body. Decide on what’s important to you not someone else. Yeah, decide on what’s important to you. Let someone else
Mark [35:00] Thank you Lynette Fox for this lovely conversation. Thank you.
Lynette [35:04] Thank you very much, Mark, for the opportunity.
Mark [35:06] It’s been beautiful. Thank you. Thank you for the connection over the many years and your beautiful teaching.
Lynette [35:15] Thank you much