Connecting to our Heart’s Depth
Mark [0:00] I’d like to welcome Guy Craft to the World Heart of Connection podcast. I’m your host, Mark Randall. Guy’s, a host of another podcast called the Humansplaining podcast, which is like this one, having conversations about human beings being human beings. Welcome Guy to the World Heart of Connection.
Guy [0:17] Thanks, Mark. It’s a pleasure to be here. And yeah, I think everyone should start a podcast really.
Connection to Podcasting
Mark [0:24] It’s an interesting forum podcasting. I’ve been doing it for probably nearly two years now. Getting close to 100 episodes, and it’s a wonderful forum to hear people’s stories and for those stories to be broadcast, out there for other people to hear those stories.
Guy [0:45] Yeah, I feel like some of the strongest connections I formed this year have been through my podcast. And just by nature have a podcast – I’ve never been a big small talker. In fact, it’s probably a weakness of mine. I find a podcast is a great way to get to those deep and meaningful conversations that really get to the heart of what a person thinks feels, believes and what they know. I’ve forged some strong connections through this medium and stronger than connections that I’ve had with other people who I’ve known for 10 or 20 years of my life. So, that’s why I say I think everyone should start a podcast because you learn so much about yourself. And, that leads into that, that topic of connection. You got to first connect with yourself before you can connect with anyone else. And so, I’ve been on that journey as well with the podcast, really learning about myself through the wisdom of other people.
Connecting to Oneself
Mark [1:54] Learning to connect to yourself. Can you share a little bit about that story? What led Guy into wanting to connect more with himself?
Guy [2:05] So, I think everything is connected, everyone is connected. And other people are, I guess you could say fragments of the oversoul. And so, we’re all remembering, which has the double meaning – I’m sure you’re aware of, putting pieces back together. And so, it’s like every time I have a conversation with someone because we’re all human, we’re all going through a similar experience. Yes, everyone has their own unique journey. But there are certain signposts, if you will – certain archetypal patterns that emerge across multiple lives. And that’s whether you believe in past lives or not across from my life to your life, for example, or whoever it is that we’re talking to, we can find those common threads. So, I really make it a mission to find those common threads and I also make it a mission to ask myself, in what way is the person that I’m talking to wiser than myself. Because what I found is that, we all have our blind spots. But we also all have our strengths. And by finding out what other people’s strengths are it helps me to reflect more on what my strengths are. And sometimes seeing the weakness in other people allows me to say the weakness in myself because sometimes the ego gets in the way. And so, I don’t think it’s a matter of, we must delegate our thinking to someone else and allow them to come up with a philosophy on life for us. But I also don’t think it’s a matter of ignoring what other people have to say, because they can really teach us a lot about ourselves. Ironic as that might sound. So, for me, I’ve been a very insular person. Getting back to your question, and I’ve not wanted to listen to people for most of my life. I’ve had quite an ego around that being quite prideful. But since I started becoming more open to the wisdom of others, I found that my self-awareness has gone up through the roof. And I’m a lot – I’m learning a lot faster.
Mark [4:18] Just curious, what enabled you to let go of that insular or whatever the word ~ I’m sorry, I don’t remember the word. What enabled you to let go of that initial way of being?
I think of suffering. I think it’s just depending on how big our ego is, depends on how much suffering we must encounter before we look in the mirror. And we do things a certain way until we realise that we’re not getting the results that we’re looking for. And then we try something different, or we just continue to suffer. There’s always that choice as well. So, sometimes we can take the lesson and not do anything with it. But for me, I had a pretty big ego. I just had to take some, some hard lessons realise how other people were receiving me, really listen to the feedback that I was ignoring. And, I think the biggest thing is just humbling myself. And if we don’t do that voluntarily, life will find a way to do that for us. And it’s usually through some sort of tragedy, the death of someone that we love or terminal illness, or some sort of shakeup in our external environment.
Connecting with an Ego-Death
Mark [5:42] Could it be an ego-death as well?
Guy [5:46] Yeah, definitely. Because it forces us to re-examine what we think, what we believe about ourselves. So, for me, I’ve had a number of those sorts of situations occur in my life. More important than what the exact circumstances were, whether it was death or illness or, frictions in the workplace or with other people. Regardless of what those things were, I started to realise that the common denominator in all that, was me. And that ties into the topic of Shadow Work. We can blame other people for so long. But eventually, if we keep running into the same kinds of people repeatedly, then it’s not the other person. It’s you.
Mark [6:32] Yes, its some reflection of our self being mirrored there?
Guy [6:38] Exactly. Yeah.
Mark [6:40] I’m wondering whether ~ just curious when your sharing about the old ego of yourself. I wonder whether we men and part of our social conditioning have got some sort of psychic interplay on us developing those strong ego defence shields?
Men’s Ego Defence Shields
Guy [7:03] Hmm. That’s a great question. And it’s something that I’ve been pondering a lot lately. I feel society has a lot of double standards for men and sure it’s probably the same thing for women. But obviously being a man, I relate more to what affects men. It’s just a natural consequence of being in this body. But I think men are supposed to be stoic. And then there’s also an expectation that we’re supposed to be vulnerable at some point. But it’s not clear when we’re supposed to do which. So, we get all these mixed messages from Hollywood, from the media, from politics, political correctness, and our friends, depending on who our friends are – everything. So, we’re bombarded with all the different stuff of what a man is supposed to be. And I suppose I’ve taken it upon myself to adopt other people’s philosophies temporarily. Like just trying on a suit, just to see if it fits. And I’ve done that with several different viewpoints. And what I found is none of them fit me perfectly. I have to tailor-make my own suit. And so, the way that I did that was primarily through meditation. I had to really go within. I really must look at those experiences, maybe from my past, that was trapped in my body. And it’s a very real thing. It’s stored in your connective tissue, your fascia, and it can be stuff that’s happened to us in childhood or later in life. But it’s there and it’s controlling the way that we speak, the way that we act. Even just background emotions that we feel throughout the day. And it wasn’t until I started doing that work and I’m by no means complete there. I’m a lot further than I was. When we start doing that work, that’s when we really start to tune in to our frequency, our unique signature, and that’s where, whether you’re a man or a woman, I think that’s what we all need to learn to listen to. And, yeah, its life is a bit of a dance. You kind of got to take on board what other people say, but then you kind of must recognise when it’s time to step away, digest, see what fits what doesn’t – take what resonates. Leave the rest. Go within. But then it reaches a point where sometimes it’s like, I don’t know, a serpent eating its own tail. And you can only learn so much in a cave in a mountain. At some point, you must go back and interact with the world. And then you’ll start learning new lessons about yourself. So, it’s a to and fro. But meditation is huge. And when I’m not meditating, I’m very careful, I suppose, or mindful in my social interactions these days or try to be. I see, on a moment to moment basis, how things are affecting me and how I’m affecting other people. And just try and take as much responsibility for that at the moment as I can.
Connecting with our bodies
Mark [10:46] If you were to investigate your body, where would you find that unique signature that you talked about before in your body?
Guy [10:57] Wherever there’s tension. Wherever – If you can’t take a full breath, I would say, look at what muscles are preventing that. And I think this is where people really get into yoga and stretching and different types of somatic breathing and things like that. Because it really allows those traumas to start to release. And sometimes people end up crying, their body might start to shiver. They might start bursting out in laughter. So, where it’s stored depends highly on the individual, I think. For me, I’ve found it can be in my neck, it can be in my shoulders, particularly on the left-hand side. And, in the hips, I think a lot of stuff gets stored in the hips as well as the base of the spine. I don’t know how familiar your audience is with talk about chakras.
Connecting to our Kundalini energy
Mark [12:03] Kundalini energy?
Guy [12:05] So the first seven years of your life your root chakra is forming. And so any traumatic experiences that have happened to you in childhood, that’ll all be somewhere around your tailbone, your hips, the base of your spine. I think most people have some sort of stuff going on in the lower part of their body. That is, storing some trauma from the past.
Mark [12:33] As your you’re connecting to the trauma from the past. How much are you healing, that trauma as you connect with it?
Connecting to healing our Inner Child
Guy [12:45] Well, this is where it takes a high degree of mindfulness. Because it’s a fine line between being sort of a compassionate self-aware conscious entity that is holding your inner child if you will. I know that’s a popular way of describing it – holding that inner child. And then – the other side of that fine line is becoming the inner child and that can be quite a quick transition. And in my experience, sometimes I have gone into that, and I have been possessed by it in a sense, and that can last for moments. It can last for days, it can last a month, or it can last for years, but we sort of becoming unconscious and Jung calls it shadow possession. And, yeah, that can be a very dangerous thing. That’s why a lot of people don’t look at this stuff because I think on some level, we know that we’re playing with fire. So, it’s good to have some guidance around meditation. A lot of people find benefit from psychotherapy. But just someone there to sort of hold your hand and guide you through it. I think there’s a lot of value in that.
Mark [14:24] Can that fire that you talked about? Could that be like Dante’s Inferno as you journey through that space?
Connecting to our Cell Regeneration
Guy [14:32] It can be, it can feel like your whole worlds collapsing, which is why we really need to stay within our centre and know that it’s not us. Because we came so much over the years. Like even every cell in our body, even though there is some sort of memory that transfers, every cell in our body is being renewed. I’ve heard 11 months, I’ve heard seven years like I’m not a biologist, I’m not sure what the exact number is. But the point is, cells die, and cells are generated. And so, we’re not the same person that we were a child. So, there’s a memory stored just like, you can store memory on a hard drive, and then copy, whatever that memory was on to a new hard drive. So, you’re that new hard drive, but you’re looking at something that was originally stored on an old hard drive, but you’re not the old hard drive. And so, it’s almost like it’s a separate person. And when you view it that way when you view your past that way, it allows you to (a) have compassion for it and (b) not get attached to it. It’s when we get attached to the story. And we think that’s who we are. That’s when we really double down on the suffering.
Mark [15:45] The process of non-attachment.
Guy [15:47] Yeah, exactly.
Mark [15:49] When you’re in that process of non-attachment, what’s the connection to yourself like as you are hitting that sweet spot of that non-attachment?
Guy [16:00] It’s a spaciousness, it’s openness. It’s an unfolding I think is one of the best words to describe it. And it’s like layers of an onion. You think you’re done with it and then next to it something else comes up.
Mark [16:15] Oh bugger.
Guy [16:16] Yeah, exactly.
Mark [16:18] Oh, what more (laughter).
Guy [16:20] So yeah, takes a lot of patience.
Connecting to my Spaciousness
Mark [16:26] As you hit that sweet spot, and you’re in that spaciousness, how would you describe the connection to others when you’re coming from that spaciousness?
Guy [16:37] People have a lot more respect for you. People are more attentive to what it is that you have to say because they recognise that you are a lot more present than the average Joe maybe. And that’s not a judgement on the average Joe. It’s just that most people haven’t done the Shadow Work and so their body is literally in the past. So, you can’t be present, if you are, I guess you could say a slave to your unconscious mind. So, it just allows you to be there for other people. And I find people open to me a lot more – the more that I do my inner work.
Connecting to our Shadow Work
Mark [17:16] And the more you’re doing your inner work, the shadows are going to sometimes come out of the rabbit holes whether we want them to or not. That’s just – we’re in relational to others. Those triggers may trigger some of our shadows.
Guy [17:34] Oh, big time when you’re dealing with the opposite sex or if you’re gay if you’re dealing with someone who might have some sort of romantic attraction to you.
Mark [17:45] The more you’ve meditated, are you then able to recognise and notice and observe the shadow reappearing from the rabbit hole ~ whatever you ever you want to call it ~ coming from ~ the unconscious?
Guy [18:03] It’s something which you get better at over time. It’s something that – learning to ride a bike. Now you might fall off and fall into unconsciousness. But it’s okay – you must have that basic level of compassion and forgiveness for yourself when you do mess up. Just acknowledge it. And if you hurt other people in the process, say you’re sorry, whatever, and resolve not to do it again. Sorry.
Connecting to Meditation Practice
Mark [18:33] We’re human.
Guy [18:35] Yeah, exactly. And so, then next time you come up to a similar situation where something like that could happen again, you will notice that you’ll be a bit more mindful. And you’ll be aware that you have different choices. And so, it’s a matter of just learning to ride a bike. Basically, it’s going to be a bit wobbly at first, but the more you do it, the better you’ll get at it.
Mark [18:58] When you more mindful. I have a model that I’ve developed over the years ~ I call it the ‘Head and Heart’. And one of the things I do a fair bit of work ~ clinical work with men. Men are very analytical and very stuck up in the racy intellectual mind. In your journey of mindfulness, have you been able to slow the racy mind down, the racy intellectual brain and then drop more into the into your heart?
Guy [19:29] Okay, so that’s another love a weakness of mine. I am highly analytical, even when I’m meditating. It’s just going…
Mark [19:41] Hell for leather?
Noticing my Analytical Mind
Guy [19:44] So yeah, that’s why I need to know I really need to be patient with myself. Because I know that I’m capable of dropping into those deeper brainwave states where this mind is just silent. I know I’m capable of that because I’ve been there. But it does take a lot of work for me – I’m not saying that everyone’s experience is going to be the same as mine. Yes, it’s a lifelong journey and you must be willing to commit to it and make it a priority.
Mark [20:11] And when you can get out of your analytical mind and drop in and be in your heart, what’s the connection like when you totally with your heart and out of your, analytical mind?
Guy [20:25] Oh, the things that were stressing me out, aren’t stressing me out anymore. They don’t seem like a big deal at all. That’s probably the main feature. And, I find that I’m more creative. I’m more open to new opportunities. And life just seems to flow a lot more effortlessly.
Connecting to my Flow-State
Mark [20:44] Is there a flow state there?
Guy [20:46] Absolutely. Yeah. I was big into Martin Seligman – I can’t remember.
Mark [20:54] Martin Seligman ~ positive psychology.
Guy [20:58] For sure.
Mark [21:00] Jamie Wheal and Steven Kotler are the flow-state.
Guy [21:06] Yeah, I think the flow-state is a desirable state. But I also think that there is a place for hard work and going against natural tendencies and that cannot feel like flow a lot of the time. But the more that we go up that staircase, I suppose our comfort zone widens a bit. And so we find ourselves in that flow-state more often.
World Peace if Men connecting to Heart of Flow-State
Mark [21:34] What would happen in the world if more of us men were able to connect to the flow-state within our hearts?
Guy [21:44] Ah, think – well, I think we have world peace, wouldn’t we?
Mark [21:50] (Laughter) Maybe it was a leading question. Yes, your right we would.
Mark [21:56] There would much more equanimity in the world.
Guy [21:59] Yeah – big time, right.
Connecting to our Heart Space Now
Mark [22:03] As you and I ~ is it fair to say, am I reading it correctly? Am I picking up the sensation that you and I are connecting in that space right now as we’re having this conversation?
Guy [22:14] 100%
Mark [22:15] Well done ~ good point, well done. Yeah.
Mark [22:18] It’s a powerful space.
Guy [22:22] It is. It’s our true home, isn’t it?
Connecting to our True Home
Mark [22:25] It is a true home and it’s so achievable. Okay we can’t ~ I’d love to be levitating 24/7 in that space above Tibet, but I just can’t. I’m joking. But we can always come back to that point. And it’s how do we keep coming back to that point. Yes. People are going to annoy us; people are going to trigger us. Yes, we are going to blame ~ when we’re blaming, yes ~ put that out in the journal. But as soon as we’ve done enough blaming, okay ~ what’s underneath the need for my blame? What’s really going on at a deeper level within myself and connect to that.
Guy [23:09] Big time. Yep.
Mark [23:11] As we were just connecting into that flow-state. Would that be a good segue into the conversation about connecting to the ‘All That Is’?
Connecting to my ‘All That Is’
Guy [23:24] Well, yeah, that’s really what I am dedicating my life to really. I mean, I don’t see any more important use of my time honestly. So yeah, I’m happy to talk about that.
Mark [23:44] What does that term mean for you? When I talk about or just ask the question connecting to your ‘All That Is,’ what does that bring up in your consciousness, you’re being?
Guy [23:59] Freedom. Freedom is probably the keyword.
Mark [24:03] Well done.
Guy [24:07] Yeah, it’s almost like…
Mark [24:09] Where’s the analytical mind gone mate ~ where’s that gone (laughter)?
Guy [24:11] Exactly. I was just about to say, I find it hard to talk when my mind starts inclining in that direction. Because I just want to bask in it, you know.
‘All That Is’ ~ An Energy Beyond Words
Mark [24:19] Yeah. And what I’ve found in the conversations in this podcast, it’s a pity that I’m not doing them on Zoom. Because in the conversation, it’s hard to put an intellectual cognitive language to it. It’s more at an energy level.
Guy [24:36] Absolutely, yeah. Maybe we should start an energetic podcast where it’s just silence for an hour. (Laughter).
Mark [24:45] And it’s interesting. One of the questions I do ask guests is, when you’re in that, ‘All That Is’ the flow- state of ‘All That Is’ ~ what happens to your mental health and your emotional well-being?
Guy [25:01] Well yeah, it can give you a reset and those traumas, those triggers – they can get blasted away depending how deep you go its game-changing.
Connecting to Nature
Mark [25:15] What are the steps? Do you go out in nature? Do you touch base with Scarborough beach ~ down at Fremantle? Where in Perth helps you connect with that ‘All That Is’ apart from the meditation. I have no doubt that’s happening. Externally, where does Guy go to…?
Guy [25:40] I was at Kings Park today to mix it up a bit. I like to go where there’s running water as well – where there’s a lot of trees. Yeah, the oceans nice, I just live quite a long way. So, I don’t go there too often. But yeah, anything that has a lot of natural features to it and fewer people. That’s great.
Mark [26:05] Kings Park is a really important place for me because in my early days of self-development, I was on some leave from work and I sat in Kings Park reading Wayne Dyer’s “The Road Less Travelled” it was my first development books into this journey of healing. It was in Kings Park. And there used to be a centre in Perth called the “Seekers Centre” in Subiaco. I don’t think it’s there anymore. Perth has a very ~ holds a very soft, beautiful place in my heart. Because that was the start of my inner journey to spirituality into the work I’ve been doing.
Connecting to the Beauty of Western Australia
Guy [26:51] Yeah, we’re very blessed in W.A.
Mark [26:53] It’s a lovely state. Beautiful energy over there. Now in terms of how do we men ~ how do we men need to work to help other men connect to that ‘All That Is’ within them?
Guy [27:15] I can get a bit preachy sometimes and that is not effective, I will recommend that to anyone. I find the best method is just to embody whatever it is that you’re learning. Because there’s one thing to know what to do, but it’s another thing to do it. And I find that the more that I do it, and don’t preach about it. I am aware that I’m sounding like a hypocrite right now. But I’ve been invited to talk. So, if I’m invited, I’ll take the invitation. But yes, uninvited preaching, that’s the problem. But anyway, the more I find that I just embody what it is that I’ve been learning – the insights that I’ve been getting, the more that people take my example and take whatever it is that they need to take on for themselves.
Disconnecting from my Body in my Analytical Mind
Mark [28:07] When you go back to your default of analytical, have you disembodied yourself by becoming analytical?
Guy [28:19] Yeah, I think you hit on something there Mark (Laughter). Yeah. It’s a resolution of mine this year to connect more with my heart. But yeah, it has been quite a challenge. I won’t lie.
Mark [28:35] And I don’t think you’re the Lone Ranger and that challenge with a lot of us men. I think my experience ~ I sometimes wonder whether we were ~ I always say that we were emotional beings till about five or six years old. And then it’s that sort of the ~ whether it’s archetypal psychic somewhere in our ethos that just says okay, boys, now it’s time to shut your heart down. Don’t be sensitive, don’t be vulnerable. And we learn to disconnect. We’re disembodied from our bodies and our hearts, and come up into that logical, intellectual, rational, logical brain as a safety mechanism. Yeah,
Guy [29:16] Yeah. That’s something that I know intellectually, but when you said it, it just really hit home. So, yeah, I think on the money there, I know you’re on the money. I feel you’re on the money.
Men Connecting to their Vulnerability
Mark [29:28] Yeah. And it’s how do we help model that to other men that vulnerability is ~ it’s a sensitive place, but it’s also a rich place ~ of rich beauty and essence. And instead of ridiculing it or judging it, it’s just how do we just learn to deeply connect to it and have acceptance of it?
Guy [29:58] Yeah, well, I think the environment is huge. If you’re an environment where you feel like you’ve got to keep up some sort of macho image so that the other men don’t think less of you or women for that matter. Then yes, it’s going to be a real challenge. Not saying it would be impossible. But if you can find yourself in environments where you just accepted for who you are. And that might mean going on a meditation retreat with other like-minded people. Or it could just mean finding communities of people who’ve been through similar things as you and are on a similar mission to be more open. I know that a lot of people go to men’s groups. I haven’t been to any – I’ve been meaning to dip my toe in that water. But yeah, I think just finding like-minded people is a good start. Because even if you are still unconscious, even if you do have a bit of an ego. If you have the look when whenever you can get rid of the egos. I think it’s about embodying it.
Mark [31:07] Yeah and bringing awareness to it.
Aligning with Our Higher Self
Guy [31:10] Yep. Making an aligned with our higher self.
Mark [31:13] Well done. Guy, if you were to give advice to the young Guy coming through his journey now, what would that piece of advice be for a young Guy about to embark on his journey?
Guy [31:37] Probably that money, women and making other people happy is not as important as you think it is. And it’s far more important to follow those things that you are passionate about. And really give your energy and enthusiasm to those things and make time to meditate every day. Like your life depends on it.
Mark [32:12] Well done mate. And your passion, it sounds like if I’m hearing correctly, your passion is in this self- development. There is so much passion I hear in your voice and in your heart for this self-development to become the better you.
Guy [32:31] Yeah, it really is.
Mark [32:32] Well done.
Connecting to my Passion & Purpose
Guy [32:33] I’m on a mission to – I don’t want to give too much away until I’ve achieved my goal but it’s in the healing field. And I want to transform people’s lives by leading by example.
Mark [32:49] Well done. Mate, you’re on the journey.
Guy [32:53] Yeah.
Mark [32:54] Well and truly. Well and truly on the journey. Lovely to connect to you.
Guy [33:01] You to Mark.
Mark [33:02] Lovely to hear your story.
Guy [33:05] Yes, this has been great.
Mark [33:07] Courage to you for stepping into that space mate.
Guy [33:13] It can be a lonely journey sometimes.
Mark [33:15] It can be a lonely journey and especially as men.
Guy [33:19] It’s the only one worth taking. I tried to walk different paths, but they don’t provide me with any happiness. So, gotta walk this one.
Mark [33:30] Beautiful work and courageous work ~ well done. Guy, where can people get in touch with you through your podcast? Is there any ~ have you got a webpage? How do people find you?
Guy [33:44] You can find me on YouTube. Just look up humansplaining that’s Humansplaining. I always feel like I’m in a spelling competition when I spell that. You can find me on Facebook Guy D Craft, and I post on there quite regularly. Those are the two main places.
Mark [34:08] And look, what I’ll do is I’ll link those. I’ll get the URL numbers from you and I’ll link those into the show notes too.
Guy [34:15] Yeah, cool. Awesome.
Mark [34:17] Look forward to touching base again.
Guy [34:19] Thanks so much Mark. And I’d like to have you on my podcast sometime.
Mark [34:22] Look forward to it. Cheers, mate.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai