Connecting to our Infinite Consciousness
Mark [0:00] I’d like to welcome Jolene O’Brien of Peace and Love to the World Heart of Connection podcast. I’m your host Mark Randall. Jolene is all the way from the UK and Jolene had an opening to the nature of her true self at four years old. Not having a clear understanding of what this was. She spent many years on a path searching for the meaning of true happiness. During this time, Jolene ran her own business and customer service. After the birth of her only child, Jolene decided to leave her business behind and trained as a mindfulness meditation teacher. Another deep spiritual insight emerged when she was 38 years old, which gave her clarity on what she had witnessed as a child. This not only completely changed her life but brought about some challenges. Having cleared through deep spiritual guidance, Jolene now assists others to discover the simplicity of leading a sustainable peace-filled life. Jolene lives in North Wales with a partner Lee, who is also described as her best friend along with their adored nine-year-old son Elliot welcome Jolene to the World Heart of Connection Podcast.? Anything further to add to your bio?
Jolene [1:25] And No.
Deepening my Connections to Self
Mark [1:31] Can you describe the connection as a four-year-old? What was the insight – that bought you into that connection to that space at four years old, and then 38 years old to be able to really define what it was for you?
Jolene [1:51] Yeah, cause. This sort of deepens over time what happened. So, you’re going to kind of an exclusive today, because I’ve never mentioned it in this way before. Simply because it can seem a little bit insensitive to the people that were around me, family and friends and stuff. But basically, and at four years old, I was just going about my day normal as it is. And all my family were around me. And suddenly, I had a very deep seeing – an insight. So, it came from within and rather than the headspace, and that showed me where our suffering comes from. And not only that, but the words that I got were – that these are not my family. I’ve never spoken like that before. Because obviously, people can become upset about that. But it wasn’t in a way where it’s, not very nice to them. Basically, I realised that the inner me was from somewhere else. The outer me, Jolene was simply a character playing a role. And at the time, I didn’t have the words to explain that. And like I say, it’s taken me many years to sort of gain clarity, and that keeps deepening over time.
Gaining Clarity to my Childhood Insight
Jolene [3:32] And with that, there was – it was only a very short space of time that that happened over. And, the sense of peace that I got from it literally lasted a few seconds. I then went into a very deep fear. One of them, I believe now. And I did believe it at the time as well as that, I couldn’t explain this to anybody as a four-year-old. And, nobody would believe me. So, I felt very alone in this insight that I was having. And the other fear, I think was, that I felt very different to everybody around me. So, it coincided with I couldn’t talk to them about it. I couldn’t explain it. And now I feel very different. These people who I loved very much and love very much. Were in a very different place to what I was, and I could see that very clearly. And, I was seeing that the drama and things that were going on around me was ridiculous. And it was created from white conditioning basically. And so that’s where that sort of that was my big sort of first big insight, I’d imagine. Although I do remember being one week old. I mean that that was just a knowing that I was one week old, there wasn’t anything major that I could talk to you about that. But I do remember what being one week old, I was swaddled in a blanket on the sofa on my side. And, I have a very clear remembering of that. And there were several, what you might call mystical experiences. As I was growing up, at eight years old, I had a very deep seeing, and that we create our reality. And, it’s very different to what people believe it to be, or that spoken about in the groups and things like that?
Difficult Integration of my Four-Year-Old Insight
Mark [6:15] I just wonder, what would like to connect to yourself in that space? To experience that as a four-year-old. And then ~ the journey from four years old learning? How did you ~ was it difficult to integrate that?
Jolene [6:35] Very difficult. And one of my driving forces is the fact that I didn’t have any guidance. And you know, being in the UK, in a regular – I lived on the biggest Council estate in the UK. So, it was very difficult. And it took many years of integration and learning and unlearning mainly. And so yeah, in that space, which the piece that I felt, and the clarity that I felt was only a few seconds. And had somebody been there that said, this is a wonderful thing. And that is normal. And I had to sort of go along with my own interpretation. Now having everybody around me was in a completely different space who didn’t see the world in that way. I believed I was different. And that I was wrong. And that this was a weird thing until many years later.
Societal Labelling & Social Conditioning
Mark [7:41] What ~ connecting to that, what and how did that impact on your well-being and your mental health as you’re growing up?
Jolene [7:51] I was labelled – I think probably from that point, I was labelled a very shy, anxious child. And I liked quiet, I liked peace and quiet, I’d often take myself alone, drawing painting, and I didn’t like loud parties, things like that. And, as I grew up, I guess back then they didn’t have labels such as I don’t know, autism or ADHD or anything like that. And I mean, it might have been around, but it wasn’t so well known as now or, thrown upon kids as it is so readily now. And so, it was difficult, because I had now, I built a belief up that I was different. I was strange compared to everybody else. And then I don’t know how far you want me to move on. But when I got to around 15 years old, found it very difficult to manage in a fast-paced and drama-filled, loud world. And I was labelled as depressed.
Disconnecting & Wanting a Different World
Mark [9:09] I would imagine you would have liked to have disconnected from that fast pace, crisis, drama ridden society and the world?
Jolene [9:21] Massively yes. And I dreamed that I would have regular insight and daydreams that I took myself into, sometimes I was taken into them. And, sometimes I took myself there into wanting a different world and wanting to be part of creating a different world. And whether that be where people can go on retreat, and, whatever background or struggles you’ve got, and whatever income. I had this sort of dream of creating somewhere that people could go and to speak about these types of things. Which I didn’t have.
Mark [10:10] Back in those days, I’d imagine there wouldn’t be too much spiritualism around it was more religiosity back in those days?
Jolene [10:21] Yeah, I guess my first sort of seeing of anything like this was when people would say, oh, that guy used to be an alcoholic, and now he’s a born again, Christian type thing. And even then, they were laughed at. They were mocked, oh, they found God or whatever and it’s a shame really.
The ‘Now’ Gift ~ of my Four-Year-Old Insight
Mark [10:44] And what’s it like now to be able to freely connect to the gift of the four-year-old, the insight?
Jolene [10:54] Oh yeah, wonderful. I have so much love for that little girl. I was so cruel to that child, that, I pushed away, I didn’t like, I wanted to change. And now, if I could go back as this, this age to that child and tell them how amazing they are, and how gifted and just how fabulous that experience was, and what it can now bring to the world.
Complete Loving-Kindness for my Four-Year-Old
Mark [11:32] Would it be fair to say that you’ve stopped rejecting her and embraced her and giving her lots of loving-kindness and compassion? Exactly what she needed back then. But she was ~ well done. And then moving forward to 38 years old. How did the 38-year-old ~ the point at 38? The insight there? How did that help you redefine or reconnect and reintegrate the experiences of four years old? What happened? How did you connect to that?
Jolene [12:09] And yeah, so there are lots of different elements to it. And, as I said, I was having mystical experiences throughout my life periodically. And, also, lots of times when I felt very asleep, you could say, and going along with the masses, following the crowd, just to fit in, really. And so, then I, after my son was born, and I started to train as a mindfulness teacher, that was literally, to help myself. And I have no intention of using it on anybody else. I wanted to go deep within a peaceful state after trying some meditation and realising the benefits of it. And so, I started to meditate and started to train in the art of mindfulness. And then I had a very deep insight during one meditation at that point, I was meditating for an hour in the morning and an hour at night. And, I’d literally become mindfulness – had become ingrained into my being, let’s say.
Connecting to Mindfulness ~ Our True Nature
And, mindfulness is our true nature. So, I was becoming my true nature. And I was in a meditation and had a very deep scene, which now that I get more clarity on it, it was literally the same as what I’ve had at four years old, but just far deeper, and far more clarity. And I now had more of a knowledge of how to deal with that, what it was, I didn’t know fully at the time, but I knew a lot more. And this deep seeing was that – so basically, in this meditation, the gradually the body completely disappeared. And, I now became, the only way I can describe it if I can put words on it was connected ‘as everything.’ So, all the suffering completely dropped away. And there was just a vast seeing of who I really was. Thank you. And, yes, so I don’t know how long it lasted for. You could say eternity. And gradually, the body of Jolene returned to that sitting on the bed.
Connecting to my Opened Heart
Mark [14:59] What an amazing experience. Yeah. Was your heart opened deeper in that process?
Jolene [15:10] Yeah, absolutely. And so, there were lots of things that came to me afterwards. The words that I got for what I was experiencing was ‘infinite consciousness,’ which made perfect sense. I’ve never heard these words before, but it made perfect sense. I now had a realisation. So, I realised who I was. It was a remembering that that’s who I was and that that had never gone away. It was always here. It was basically overlooked. And I was kind of veiled in the conditioning, the thought process, and that was failed, basically. But it’s here all the time. And that’s what I recognised.
Life-Changing Connection ~ Infinite Consciousness
Mark [16:04] Was it hard to disconnect from the social conditioning that you had from four to 38, was difficult?
Jolene [16:15] Not in that moment. And after, that was completely life-changing. And so, after that, the way that I can explain it was that Jolene was still here. I was also in that vast seeing, peace-filled, grace-filled, existence essence. So, what was looking was the infinite consciousness. I was also aware that Jolene was here, which now hadn’t, it wasn’t Jolene anymore. It had a name, Jolene. And, I was recognised as a female. I was recognised as my age. But I knew now that this was just a thing to use, to experience, life as it is.
Mark [17:17] And as you learn to experience it, as life as it is, what did it do to help you or assist you in your connections to others?
My True Nature ~ Sees Your True Nature
Jolene [17:30] So, in seeing my own true nature, I could now see everybody else’s true nature. So, whereas before somebody may want to start an argument with me, or somebody may want to, get annoyed at my driving, you know, I’m not the best driver in the world. So, it was done.
Jolene [17:58] I could see where that suffering and that pain and that irritation, annoyance was coming from within them. So, rather than I am reacting towards them. I could basically see who they were, and where their suffering was coming from, which completely dissolved my own reaction to it.
Mark [18:23] And would it also dissolve your own anxiety around it as well?
Jolene [18:30] Yeah. Anxiety was something that I’d struggled with all my life. At this point, there was no anxiety. I’d been labelled chronic fatigue by my doctor. And my depression, it completely melted away.
Our Mental Health Dissolves in the ‘All That Is’
Mark [18:50] It’s interesting in a lot of the questions when we get ~ well, you’ve already laid into the concept of ‘All That Is’ ~ in this conversation already. And in the conversation when we have a conversation about the ‘All That Is,’ as people are energetically experiencing it and resonating in it ~ in the conversation, I asked the question, what happens to your mental health and your emotional health when you’re in that ‘All That Is.’ And the answer is ~ exactly what you’ve just said. Just it dissolves. There is no…go on…
Jolene [19:33] Sorry, I was just going to say what two things are quite important. When I had that deep insight at 38. I had two things that came to me one was, and the four-year-old child wasn’t crazy. She was right. The other one was that mental disability or whatever you might call it, mental health issues. They don’t exist. And it’s difficult for me to say that, because if somebody says that to you, while you’re during suffering, that’s difficult to hear, and it’s quite can seem quite dismissive. And the reason that I use that is because I do know that, but also in the state, the space that I’m in now, I have deep compassion for the suffering, I’ve been there. And I know that it’s very real to the person that’s in it. So, when I do assist people, I am completely aware of that. And there’s a compassion that resonates from me to them.
Connecting to my Compassionate Awareness
Mark [20:38] And I’d imagine, correct me if this doesn’t sit, right, but I’d imagine you’d have a lot of empathy for their suffering because of the experiences you’ve had in your journey?
Jolene [20:51] Yeah, and empathy kind of melts away as well. Because with the energy of empathy, you take on their suffering, and which is what I had lived in a space of my life – my whole life. I tried to help so many people because I was suffering myself as well. And I didn’t want anybody else to suffer. So what changes is, empathy changes, and compassion comes in. So, there’s a compassionate awareness for everybody that you come across, but you don’t take on the energy from them. So, in that space, I’m able to help without suffering myself.
Mark [21:37] Is it sort of like you can go beyond the suffering ~ energetically go beyond the suffering and just be present in that space?
Letting Go ~ in Compassionate Awareness
Jolene [21:50] Yeah, I mean there isn’t suffering here. But I don’t know how much deeper I’m going go as my process goes along. But there may be something that comes up, and a trigger or a pain or something like that. Quite quickly, that disappears, it melts through. And literally, because I know who I am. So, I’ve lived in that space for so long, that it’s like, oh, you’re going into this story or going into this, this belief system that isn’t real. So, it passes through very quickly, and sometimes, it’s not often it happens, so.
Mark [22:36] And when you’re in that space, how to people resonate energetically in your presence, what do you notice?
Connecting to My Presence
Jolene [22:49] I’ve always noticed, when I look back now that people have been drawn to me for, opening up about really deep things that going on in their life. They probably wouldn’t tell anybody else, or rarely. They may tell me, you know, about their deep traumas, and things like that, or things that. They wouldn’t generally open up about – after the big insight. This happened a lot more. And people were coming in that I knew I needed to hear what I had to say, and also to be in my presence. And some people don’t need to even speak to me, I can see a shift from the resonance within my being to theirs.
Mark [23:42] Can you describe how you ~ do need to anchor into the resonance? Do you have a procedure or a process? Or is it just at a cellular level now that you can just access whenever you need to access it?
Deep Gratitude Forever There
Jolene [24:00] I would say it’s there all the time. It’s not something that I’m consciously like, Oh, I’m there. I would say, it’s there all the time. There’s deep gratitude for it.
Jolene [24:15] That gratitude is here in my being a lot of the time. And yeah, but there’s – so I wouldn’t say you need to go into it. To anchor into that, and if there’s a process to do, obviously, I would say meditation is the one. Which is what I now guide people through. And intuitively I use meditation, from what I know that they need.
Mark [24:52] I know this might sound like a really dumb question. Whereabouts ~ I think I’ve already got the answer. Maybe I’m predicting the answer. Whereabouts do you find it in your body.
Connection to a Vast Awareness
Jolene [25:09] Where do you find it in your body?
Mark [25:11] When you hit that resonance? Where in your body? Is it through a cellular being? Is it your heart? Is it all of the above?
Jolene [25:22] It’s all of the above.
Jolene [25:24] It’s like a vast awareness. Its kind of like, Jolene doesn’t end. It’s, this is connected to everything. Which is why I have – my partner laughs at me because I find beauty in the most things that people would generally find mundane. I recently bought a bin for my kitchen, a trash bin. And I absolutely love it. I know that it’s all connected type of thing. Sounds crazy, but it’s hard to explain. But sorry. So, going back to your question was where it comes from. So, if I explain it – in a way that people might understand when somebody is meditating. So, the aim is to you will feel a feeling, you will witness a thought. And the aim is to witness them, and come back to the breath, usually or the body. So, there is a turning round from all this stuff that’s going on, that causes suffering. So, pain thought – that we, we often grab onto it and bring it in, like, oh, there’s a thought, let’s go with that. And let’s make even more and pain might come up, it’s all this pain. And there’s a non-resistance to any of it. So, there’s a complete allowing to whatever is here. And, there is a turning back to the self.
Connecting to Infinite Consciousness
Mark [27:16] And as you’re sharing it ~ the words, your words are coming into my consciousness in the ‘infinite consciousness.” And in that infinite consciousness. Is that then energetically connected to the ‘All That Is’ the beyond you ~ beyond? It’s just ~ it’s beyond words actually. Do you know what I mean ~ exactly?
Jolene [27:52] It is, what it is. My friend who helped me through some tough times, explains what came to him, which was I know nothing. So, there is this – there’s this, I know nothing from within. But also, you just know. So, I can’t explain who it’s connected to, or what it’s connected to. But so I know nothing. But I also know, it’s right. It’s perfect. It’s divine.
Mark [28:36] And when you’re there, how much of a flow-state do you experience in your being physically mentally, emotionally spiritually?
A Flow-State of Infinite Consciousness
Jolene [28:50] Like I said before, it’s there’s as a constant. So, I can see you through these eyes, but I can also see energetically – everything and seeing is a connection to everything. And, and so I would say it’s a constant but like I said before, there may be a human trigger that comes up and which is seen from the infinite consciousness – sees it, recognises what it is, and it quickly dissolves.
Mark [29:32] Now as more of us human beings can access and connect to the infinite consciousness within ourselves. What do you believe the impact that would have on healing Mother Earth?
Jolene [29:54] Well, if we were all like that – yes. If we were all like that. Oh my gosh. Well, simply it would be heaven on earth.
Lord’s Pray ~ Thy Will Be Done on Earth as in Heaven
Mark [30:11] Yeah, heaven on earth, which reminds me of the Lord’s prayer. Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as in heaven. Yeah, and I’m wondering…
Jolene [30:25] Sorry, I was just when you recognise your true nature, when you recognise that the infinite consciousness is, here – is present, you actually realise that you are actually in heaven. You didn’t, you just didn’t realise. You forgot.
Mark [30:45] Yeah. And my true nature sees ~ your true nature and your true nature sees my true nature. The Spirit essence. (laughter).
Our Healing of Mother Earth
Mark [30:59] Powerful place. And as we share that collectively, you and I are sharing it now. My sense is we’re sharing it right now. And as we share it and grow it ~ that I believe is going to heal Mother Earth, the World Heart of Connection.
Jolene [31:22] Yeah, I mean, I see it all the time on the internet and stuff like that. And it’s all very well-meaning and beautiful. Where people are going out to do so much beautiful things to heal the earth, to help the children and all this type of stuff. But they – the simplicity of finding your own true nature is what is going to turn energetically this world around. So, it’s starting with the self, if you can start with yourself. That is, it’s the simplest and it’s the way forward.
Mark [31:57] Look within?
Connecting by Looking Within
Jolene [31:57] Look within. You want to do anything in the world ~ look within.
Mark [32:06] Jolene one of the last questions I asked ~ because we’ve already gone through the ‘All That Is.’ And I’m pretty ~ yeah again, I’m predicting the answer. If the younger Jolene was about to take her journey in this lifetime now, what would your advice be for that young Jolene right now? Wow
Jolene [32:39] Wow. Well, if you could understand it. It would be that not all adults know the truth. And if somebody is mean to you, it is absolutely nothing about you and all about them. You’re absolutely 100% affection in all that you are – inside and out. As are all children and just do not believe anything to the contrary of that.
Jolene [33:20] Do not believe it? 100% because it’s not true.
Lovingly Holding our Inner Child Within
Mark [33:24] And I would imagine you’re 100% holding that four-year-old with deepest loving-kindness and compassion that could ever be given. Absolutely.
Jolene [33:35] Absolutely.
Mark [33:39] What a gift. What a beaut…
Jolene [33:42] I’m so grateful – that when you get to this place, it’s just humble and grateful. Yes.
Mark [33:53] Jolene thank you so much for the conversation tonight. Thank you for the connection have been connecting to you and Philip through the webpage. What’s your web page or the Facebook group again, the peace ~ Endless peace and love?
Jolene [34:11] Yeah. Endless Peace and Love is the Facebook group.
Mark [34:18] Is there a meditation ~ Have you got a web page for your meditation teaching?
Jolene [34:24] Yeah, my website is having an overhaul at the moment. I had a deep insight to change it. And I’ve spent a lot of time on it. So, I’ve had a deep insight to change it. So, it’s in process of changing. So that is – www.peace-and-love.co.uk. That will be open in the next couple of weeks.
Mark [34:45] I’ll get it through messenger. I’ll get the link and I’ll put it in the show notes. I’m not sure whether too many people these days read show notes but they’re there. It’s just ~ it’s a document of your story and It’s a beautiful story. I thank you so much for the opportunity to connect to you and Philip in the UK. It’s just lovely ~ It’s so lovely to meet like-minded souls and to be able to have these conversations. Because the more we have them, we will change. Namaste.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai