Connecting to Sacred Hearts Rising ~ Episode 81 ~ My Conversation with Brenda Hammon

Connecting to Sacred Hearts Rising

Mark [0:00] I’d like to welcome Brenda Hammon to the World Heart of Connection Podcast.  I’m your host Mark Randall. Brenda is the CEO of Sacred Hearts Rising.  What is it?  Heart rising?

Brenda [0:11] Sacred Hearts rising.

Mark [0:12] Sacred Hearts rising and has been an editor of a couple of books for people going through their journey and moving forward.  Brenda, would you like to introduce yourself in a bit more detail?

Connecting to Brenda’s Story

Brenda [0:28] Hi, I’m Brenda Hammon and I am the CEO and founder of Sacred Hearts Rising.  We have an anthology series.  We just released our third book of people who have struggled in their past and they’ve decided that there’s a better way to live than, living in the past.  So they share their stories about what has happened to them and how they’ve overcome and how they are creating a better life to live.

Mark [0:54] Brenda, what led you down that road to encouraged people to share their stories via books?

Connecting to my Sexual & Emotional Abuse

Brenda [1:06] Well, I had shared my own personal story, probably about 2015.  I was a victim of sexual abuse, and emotional mental cruelty.  So, I thought if I could tell my story, in hopes to help another person like me realise that they can live a better life than that was worth it.  So, I shared my story.  I wrote three books on that.   Then I wanted to talk about my granddaughter that had passed away when she was seven days old, and I wanted to share her story.  I couldn’t exactly write a book about it because she was only seven days old.  So, I started – I thought I would read a chapter.  So, I started Sacred Hearts rising and I put it out for other people if they wanted to share their stories of overcoming and the first book was basically losing a grandchild.   What that had done to me and other people shared about being sexually abused, domestic violence, suicide, cancer and a variety of all kinds of stories.  All of the stories are inspirational, even though they do have a dark element to them, they are all inspirational stories in how they have dealt with it and how they’ve moved forward so that they can create a better life than the one that they were living.

Connecting to People’s Recovery

Mark [2:30] What’s it like to be able to connect to those powerful stories of recovery and moving forward and in people’s lives?

Brenda [2:43] That’s a hard question to answer.  The people must trust you first. I mean, all the authors who have written in their stories, who are written in the books have trusted me with their stories.  There’s no judgement on any part of anything that they’ve gone through.  Whether it’s abortion or rape, there’s no judgement.  So, creating a safe place for them was paramount that they would know that they could say whatever they had to say – share their stories, whatever it was, and that they were going to be in a safe community and a safe environment.  Sacred Hearts is now a very big community that supports everybody.  If you’re having a bad day, or we’ve just slipped down that rabbit hole a little bit. Everybody’s there to say we got your back and we believe in you and let’s just keep going. So it’s actually quite beautiful.

Mark [3:39] That’s a community connection to support each other?

Brenda [3:43] Very much a community connection within the Sacred Hearts.  We have writers from all over. So, we have them in the States. We have them in Pakistan. We have them across Canada.  They are connected via through their stories through Sacred Hearts.

Brenda’s Connection to Herself

Mark [4:00] And how does Brenda ~ bringing it back to Brenda? How does Brenda connect to herself?

Brenda [4:08] I’m probably ~ they always call me, the mama bird or whatever.  I’m there, I don’t know how it’s… I can connect with them all in various stages of their struggles and parts of their stories because I can relate to a lot of it.  As what has happened in my own life and what has happened in lots of the other author’s life.  So, there’s a very strong connection and a strong thread that ties us all together.  I think that’s part of my job is to keep us all tied together so that we are there as a support for one another and you lead by example.

Mark [4:53] What’s Brenda’s process to connect to herself?  It’s powerful work that you’re doing to support everybody else in your community.  How do you connect and support and give support to yourself through that journey?

Connecting as an Empath

Brenda [5:11] Well, I am an empath, and a medium. So, I do a lot of – I’m alone a lot. Let’s put it that way.

Brenda [5:23] I’m probably more of an introvert than anything. So, I connect a lot with our land and like ground myself with the land.  I just kind of stay in that bubble. I don’t get involved in a lot of different things. So, that again, allows me to be able to be there for the authors in what they’re going through if I’m not spreading myself too thin in other areas of my life.  So, I do have to be careful, that I don’t get weighed down.  I don’t usually with anybody’s story.  I’m able to look at it in a more positive light.  That’s part of my job with them is to be able to kind of turn their stories around and say, okay, if this didn’t happen to you, you wouldn’t be here today.  Or you wouldn’t be this or you wouldn’t be that.  So, I think by seeing myself grounded and leading by example, that’s how I can kind of stay connected to me.

Connecting to the Heart

Mark [6:20] When you’re turning their story around into a positive a coming from the heart to do that?

Brenda [6:27] You must come from your heart to do it.  It’s almost mandatory that you must come from your heart to do it. Otherwise, something gets lost in translation. If you’re thinking about it too much, or you put your logical brain on it too much ~ you must really lead with your heart.

Mark [6:44] How do you know when you’re disconnected from your heart and you’ve spread yourself too thinly. What are the signs for you ~ to give you that awareness, that awakening that you’re spreading yourself a little bit too thinly?

Brenda [7:00] Well I get burnt out; I get burnt out.

Connecting to my Self-Awareness

Brenda [7:04] It takes a lot for me to get burnt out.  But when I get burnt out, I need to just pull away from everything and just kind of re-evaluate and reconnect.  But by that time, everything has been put in place for all the author’s stories are already done. They’re already in.  Everything is done.  Now we’re just waiting for the book to get ready and that’s when I can step back.   Just kind of, okay, I just need a breather here and I need a bit of a break and not get too involved in anything else.

Mark [7:39] Do you ground yourself back in nature to give yourself that space?

Brenda [7:45] Oh, yes.  We have horses out here. I have six horses so either I’m on the tractor moving manure or I’m brushing horses or with a dog or I’m working in the garden. A lot of my grounding must come back from nature.

Connecting to Nature ~ Grounds Me

Mark [8:03] What’s it like to connect to nature?

Brenda [8:07] It’s profound. If you sit down and you just watch, and you just listen, you can see patterns. You can see the patterns of the birds you can see patterns of everything.  Like the horses, I know when they’re up and I know when they’re down. I know when they’re happy. I know when they’re sad. I know when something’s bothering them. I know when they’re sick because I sit, and I watch.  I just absorb the energies. I watched the birds that we have here. I just – a lot of times I just sit outside and just watch and just be.

Mark [8:49] How present are you in that being?

Brenda [8:53] Pardon?

Connecting to the Presence of Now

Mark [8:54] How present are you in that being?

Brenda [8:58] Ah, most of the times I’m very present in it.  My brain doesn’t shut off.  So, it goes 100 miles an hour. I do have another business besides Sacred Hearts. So, for me, that’s a normal thing.  I don’t ~ I’m not a meditator, I can’t sit down and meditate because I can’t shut my brain off long enough. So, if I just accept that this is the way I am, then I can recharge quite fast instead of fighting it. I just must let my brain run its course and run through all the ideas and the thoughts and everything else that goes on in there and just realise that’s what it is.

Mark [9:38] And when you’re out in nature, connecting to the horses to notice that your heart comes more to the fore and your brains ~ the intellectual brain, the racy brain settles down?

Being Clear Before Attending the Horses

Brenda [9:50] Umm, yeah, if I’m usually a little uptight or something like that, I don’t go near the horses because they really sense that.  So, if I need to really ground myself down, I’ll go for a walk first.  Once I’m grounded, then I can go in and I can see the horses and be with them.  One of them is quite empathic and himself.  So, he picks up on everything. So, I must be very careful when I go in on some of the horses – I’m not giving them my energy.  That my energy is calm and, and quiet and because they all trust you. They all trust you that you’re going to do right by them.  Some of the horses they’re not that into in tune with you and they just want to be scratched in and petted and that’s about it. They don’t want to give anything back and that’s just their personalities. They’re all very diverse creatures out here.

Mark [10:51] Well done.  Once you recharged.  You disconnect to reconnect back to Brenda.  You’re fully charged. When you’re fully charged, how do you go about connecting back to others?

Brenda [11:09] Oh, the others are always connected to me.  So, all I must do is just turn on the computer again and it’s all right there.  So, even though I step back, all the currents are still in play, I’ve just kind of distance myself.  So, it doesn’t take much to, to get back into the swing of that connection again, it’s quite instantaneous.

Human Connection so Important

Mark [11:37] How important is the connection to others for you and every other human being on this planet?

Brenda [11:45] We need connection. I mean, horses are herd animals, and people are herd animals.  We need to be connected.  We need to have a social link.  We need to do all that sort of stuff.  We are not meant to be a solitary animal all by ourselves.  Even though some people, will go off and be by themselves.  Mostly, we are a social creature and we like to connect.  We like to ~ some of us like it more than others. Some people are more into everything and want to be around everybody and love all that sort of stuff.  Some people are more reserved, but they still need a connection.  So, whether you have 1000 friends on your Facebook page, or you have 10 friends on your Facebook page, you still need a connection with people, it’s important.  You need to have that energy exchange.

Disconnection may lead to Mental Health

Mark [12:46] And when the next energy exchanges are missing, what do you experience happens to people?

Brenda [12:54] I think when it’s missing people, a lot of people will get depressed and they all suffer anxiety.  They will, just not be able to function normally, especially if they’re extroverts and extroverts love attention.  They love going out, they love being in there. They love all that sort of stuff.  Introverts, it’s a little bit longer, and I’m an introvert.  So, I can be at home and not be around people for quite a few days a week, sometimes even a little bit longer and I’m fine with that.  But I’m still connected via messenger or via Facebook, I’m still seeing things I’m just not putting myself out there because I’ve had to re-charge or I’ve had to do different things.  Even if you’re an introvert, you still need to have a connection to maintain a healthy lifestyle, whether it’s your husband or your girlfriends or whatever. You have that connection.

Heart Connection has no Boundaries

Mark [13:53] What’s the difference between the introvert connection to the heart and the extrovert’s connection to heart? Is there a difference?

Brenda [14:01] Not really.

Brenda [14:04] I think for me being an introvert is no different than somebody connecting to the heart being an extrovert. I don’t think there’s really any difference. You’re a heart connection is a heart connection. No matter what is ~ I think more, it’s how socially out there you want to be. I mean, I can be connected to lots of people and not necessarily see lots of people. Where an extrovert, they have that heart connection and they see lots of people. They are hanging with people that they are just around people. They need that sort of thing. But I think a heart to heart ~ It doesn’t really matter if you’re an extrovert or an introvert.

Mark [14:47] How important is heart connection to people?

The connection is just like Oxygen

Brenda [14:55] It’s like breathing.

Mark [14:59] (Laughter) Good answer.  In the West, do you believe we’ve become a bit more disconnected from heart and more connected to intellect and analysis?

Brenda [15:16] I’ve actually – I don’t know how to answer that one.

Brenda [15:20] Because it’s, it’s difficult to answer because intellect and heart are two different things.  It’s like if you fall in love with the wrong person and you know that you fell in love with the wrong person.  Your brain is telling you and all these warning signs are going off ~ that you fell in love with the wrong person.  The wrong person is smacking you around.  Your brain is giving you the sayings like ‘get out, get out’ but your heart is saying, ‘but I can’t, I can’t. So, I think sometimes your heart in your brain fight against each other.  I think one can trust their heart only to a point, but you also must realise that your brain has a say too. You must be able to listen to both your heart and your brain.  Sometimes your brain needs to override your heart in some respects, and vice versa.

Connecting more to our Hearts

Mark [16:22] What do you notice in the world? Is the world connecting more to their hearts nowadays? Are we connecting more to the intellect?

Brenda [16:32] We are finally starting to connect with our hearts.  For the longest time, I think most of the world did not connect to their heart.  We are starting to see a shift in things where people are now connecting more with their hearts. It’s about time, we needed that. We needed to have more of a heart connection in the world for us, as species to survive.

Mark [17:05] What’s facilitated?  Do you believe that reconnection back to the heart for people?

Brenda [17:18] I think more awareness has been happening. People are becoming, people can say things that they’ve never been able to talk about before. They’re allowed to talk about their past, they’re allowed to talk about rape, they’re allowed to talk about incest and abortion, they’re allowed to talk about the fact that they’ve been beaten. They’re allowed to talk about the death of a child and that has, in turn, allowed people to become a little bit more human.

Healing our Hearts Woundedness

Mark [17:53] Has it also allowed the permission to share that stuff ~ has allowed the woundedness from the heart to come out and to be released?

Brenda [18:04] Oh, for sure.  For sure, I mean, there are lots of studies out there that if you have been sexually abused or abused in your past, that your body carries those memories in their cells.   As you age into your menopausal years, or however people want to call that, then you start getting more illnesses that you really didn’t need to have like cancers, fibromyalgia, different things like that come if you have been abused.  Because if you haven’t released it, then then it stays in your system.  I’ve often said that you can release things out of your heart, but you also must release them out of your body.  Sharing your story is just the first aspect of that you’re getting, it out of you of your heart, your story of whatever it is. But now once that’s done, now you have to go back in, and you have to start cleaning out your cellular structure of the damage. It’s like free radicals that are banging around in yourself and those are causing damage which is causing illnesses. So, it’s not one fix-all – telling your story doesn’t say okay I cured is just the first steppingstone of taking back what somebody had taken away from you a long time ago.

Connecting to our Healing is our Awakening

Mark [19:32] And as the healing is taking place, do you believe people becoming more awakened as they’re doing this?

Brenda [19:40] Yes, for sure.

Brenda [19:44] A lot of people & I think virtually just about every author who has shared their story, no matter what it was, have said that the minute the story was done, and especially since the book is released because once the story was written, it was still not out there.  Until the book was released, and when the book was released, then they all just like, like a huge weight has been lifted off their shoulders and a lot described that.

Mark [20:13] Like a collective relief, or a collective release?

Sharing Stories of Healing is a Release

Brenda [20:17] It’s a big release like it’s now – it’s out there now.  Now it’s not my story anymore. Now it’s not the secret anymore. Now it is out there, and I can’t take it back.  I can’t unpublish the book.  So, it’s almost, it gives them permission to accept it. That’s the big thing. It gives them permission to accept that yes, this is my past. And now it’s laid out there for the world to see and now I get to move forward.

Mark [20:49] That’d be a very powerful connection for them to have.

Brenda [20:53] It’s a very powerful connection because they finally took off one of the frocks that they were wearing.  It’s that’s the frock of silence.  I’ve often said to a lot of the authors when I shared my story I said, I got tired of carrying around everybody else’s dirty little secret.  When I finally decided that I was not the carrier of the dirty little secrets, and I gave the secrets back to my perpetrators.  I was able to walk away free.  That’s the big thing is we carry the dirty little secrets of what somebody has done to us. We feel that we’re supposed to carry those little secrets because they’re sure not. They’ve put that burden on to their victims.   Once the victim decides that I’m not going to do this anymore, and they send it back then they just fly like – the releases is immense.

Mark [21:52] Are they releasing – is it like releasing a sense of shame, a felt sense of shame in those dirty little secrets?

Releasing the Secret of Guilt, Fear & Shame

Brenda [22:00] Yeah, it’s a sense of sharing.   You don’t write your story to out anybody.  When I shared my story about what had happened to me, I didn’t share it to say, “well, this person did this to me and how bad are they.”  I just shared my story as to what has happened to me and how it affected my life.  And everybody does the same thing. They write this story about what has happened to them, and how it affected their lives, and how they’ve decided to move forward from it.  They’ve all shared the dirty little secret that somebody had made them where.  Those little secrets are guilt, fear and shame.

Connection to Self-Empowerment

Mark [22:43] Is there? Oh, sorry. No, go ahead. Is there empowerment in doing that?

Brenda [22:51] Huge empowerment because you get back – you’ve gained back your power.  For the longest time for me, my power belonged to my abusers. Even though it happened, 30 or 40 years ago or whatever. They still have that power they still controlled the power because I kept the secret of what had happened. Because they said that if you tell will kill your family, we will kill you, whatever.  So, I carried that and until I decided I can’t do this anymore, and I laid it all on the line and I sent those secrets back.  It was a huge shift, a huge weight release, because, okay, you guys deal with this crap now.  Because this is what you guys did and now people know that you did this. So now you deal with it because I get to walk away from it.

Empowerment and our Awakening

Mark [23:47] And as you and a lot of the other authors have released that and become empowered and, in the empowerment, becoming more awakened, does that increase your connection ~ To your ‘All That Is’, whatever that is to you?

Brenda [24:05] I don’t think so because I think from the very beginning, I have a strong connection with them because they must tell me parts of their story.  So, I know if I can accept it to go into the book or not. Not based on that the story isn’t good enough but based on how many of the stories that I have that are similar.  So, I try to balance enough different types of stories in order to create a book that is going to reach a wider audience of people.  If I just had all sexual abuse stories in the book would get to be daunting and pretty ~ I can’t do this.  So, we have a variety – we usually have no more than two of the similar have a similar kind of story, whether it’s – I was sexually abused, or I was raped.  We only have a couple of each one of those and then they’re interspersed with domestic balance or suicide or have a single father, or I suffered a brain injury or whatever.  There is a variety of stories in there. So, I’m pretty connected with them right off the gecko because of what I already know.  So, my job after that is to be a strong support system for them all.  So that if they’re having struggles, or they’re having a hard time writing their story, then I help them and I come in and I say, okay, like well, where are you out? And what do we need to do?  Yes, this is good.   So, I’m already there at the very beginning.  So, by the time they released their story, I’ve gone on the journey with them. I’ve walked beside them and held their hand and I’ve walked, ahead of them leading them where they need to go, or I’ve walked behind them and watch them soar. I’m already in there.

Connecting as the Guide to Healing

Mark [25:58] Sounds like your a very powerful guide to them as you’re guiding or walking along with them in the journey.  Brenda, as you released and embodied at a cellular level – cleared the secrets at a body level. Did you notice that then facilitated a different connection to the ‘All That Is’ to nature, to the universe, to whatever – be it your God, whatever, it doesn’t matter?  Did it open that window of opportunity for you to connect deeper to the cosmos, the universe?

Brenda [26:38] Oh, for sure.  Because once you get rid of – it’s like decluttering your closet.  You’re taking out all the clothes that don’t fit you anymore.  You’re taking out all the shoes you don’t need or you’re throwing all this other stuff that you don’t need.  Decluttering your closet is just like decluttering your mind and your body.  You’re just taking out stuff that you don’t need anymore.   When you do that, when you remove all this stuff, now you have room to be able to experience new things. Because now you don’t have this shadow hanging over you anymore.   These unwanted memories that keep popping up or many video clips, that keep playing if something has happened, that is all now gone.   When that is gone, your whole body shifts into a different place that you didn’t even know even existed.  Then you can now open into feeling more energy because you have room.

Connecting to our Deeper Channels

Mark [27:42] Opens up the channels to connect at a deeper level?

Brenda [27:46] Yes, for sure it does.

Mark [27:48] And when you connect at the deepest level through that channel, what happens in your body, what happens in your being ~ as you really hit in and in that open channel – What’s that like for you?

Brenda [28:02] For me, my body shifts.  I mean, how I think shifts. No longer for me, when it happened for me no longer was my past always banging on the back door.   There wasn’t any time, there wasn’t any day that I didn’t have something – a video clip or a picture of my past popped into my mind, no matter what I was doing.   When I finally decluttered and got rid of all the stuff that was no longer serving me, which was all that sort of stuff, then I was able to breathe in.  I was able to breathe.  Because before you just can’t breathe.  You’re almost like you’re suffocating, but you don’t know it – because that’s what you lived with.  You don’t know it any different.  But once you release that and you declutter, then you can – your body can start to breathe and your body can start to relax at a cellular level.  In a heart centre level, your lungs relax, your heart relaxes, your muscles start to relax, your internal organs start to relax.  Because no longer are they in the fight or flight mode, and it takes a while for that shift to happen, it doesn’t happen overnight.  But gradually that shift does happen, and you are able to connect on a deeper level with nature, with people, with the universe.  You can see and feel and know that things are different.  You can now feel energies.  For me I can feel lots of energies, I can go into the city and I can feel right now with a pandemic that’s going on.  I can feel the fear of people and how that affects my body.  So, it’s kind of interesting – we feel all that stuff.  But you must know that you must also release that stuff, that it’s not yours.

Connecting to my Empath & her advice

Mark [30:02] Yeah, that’s the empath, isn’t it.  The very in tune with the broader energies that that exists out there. Brenda, is there any advice you’d have for a younger Brenda walking through life ~ coming through life at this point?

Brenda [30:19] I think my biggest advice for anybody is one, you’re not alone. This isn’t something that has only happened to you.  It has happened to thousands of other people.  So, don’t ever think that you’re alone in the struggles and seek help.  Go see your doctor and ask your doctor to send you to somebody so that you can get some counselling for it.  That you can start to deal with it because walking around with it – does not serve you any purpose.  Like seriously, it doesn’t serve you and it’s not going to go away ever unless you deal with it.  I mean, that was evident with one of my authors.  It was a family member and they didn’t want to say anything, but their past came up and smack them.  It said it’s here. So, you must deal with it.  You seriously must deal with it.  The worst has already happened to you and that’s what I would say to everybody.  The worst has already happened to you.  You’ve already lived through it.  You experienced it – you know it.  All you’re doing now is walking back through the ashes and picking up pieces to write a story because your past cannot hurt you anymore. That’s the biggest thing.

Connecting to our Healing Gifts

Mark [31:41] It sounds like – to go to do the healing is such a gift to yourself?

Brenda [31:51] It is a gift to yourself.  You must look at yourself in the mirror and say I am worth it.  I have value and I am worth it.  I am better than what has happened to me.  You must look at it and say, okay, this has happened to me, I can’t change it. So, let’s accept it. Let’s embrace that it happened to me.  And let’s acknowledge it.  I always say that.  We all know what has happened to us.  But, knowing and embracing and releasing are all very three key steps.  I knew what had happened to me.  I didn’t want to embrace it.  I certainly didn’t know how to release it.  So, once I acknowledged that it happened to me, I couldn’t change it. It was never going to go away. I had to embrace the fact that it happened to me because it made me who I am today. It made me a strong, independent person. It has led me to Sacred Hearts. Everything that has happened in my life from my past has led me to this point. So, I look at as a blessing.  Yeah, it was crappy and I wouldn’t want to have to relive it, but it happened, and it happened for a reason. So, let’s make something positive of it.  Once I did that, then I was able to release it and say, okay, you’re gone.  Like, I release you to the world. I release you back into Mother Earth to be regenerated into something more beautiful.

Mark [33:22] That’s so touching. Brenda.

Brenda [33:25] Thank you.

Mark [33:26] Thank you for sharing your heart’s story.

Brenda [33:30] Thank you for having me.

By you sharing your heart story, other people are going hear your heart story and they too.  Then maybe it will be the catalyst for them and the window of opportunity for them to go on and do their healing.

Brenda [33:46] Yes, if everybody deserves a beautiful life and nobody must live in turmoil and traumatic past.  You don’t have to live in that.  You can step out of it, like shredding off that ugly old dress that you’ve never liked to wear in your whole life and taking it off and finally burning it.

Mark [34:07] Brenda, thank you so much for this opportunity for you to share your story, your heart of connection.

Brenda [34:15] Thank you for having me.

Mark [34:17] Namaste.

 

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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