Connecting to Spaciousness & Letting Go ~ Episode 75 ~ My Conversation with Lucinda Light

Heart of Connection Podcast
Heart of Connection Podcast
Connecting to Spaciousness & Letting Go ~ Episode 75 ~ My Conversation with Lucinda Light

Connecting to Spaciousness & Letting Go 

Mark [0:00] I’d like to welcome Lucinda Light to the World Heart of Connection podcast.  Lucinda is a marriage celebrant and a wonderful drama teacher with young children. Lucinda to welcome to the podcast.

Lucinda [0:10] Thank you so much for having me, Mark.

Mark [0:12] Pleasure.

Connected to Aireys Inlet

Lucinda [0:13] Joining us here in our beautiful Aireys Inlet abode.

Mark [0:17] Yeah, overlooking Lorne – it’s just unbelievable the connection to the environment here and the energy just sitting here. What a beautiful energy.

Lucinda [0:29] Yesterday was the first time I’ve ever made it up to that Aireys Inlet lighthouse. Can you believe that?  I had a friend that came from the city and we just spontaneously decided to go up and it was so gorgeous to get a perspective of the whole coast.  Like I had never before, it was just gorgeous.

Mark [0:48] I’d have – not that I’ve traveled widely but this coastline has to be up there as part of the world’s coastlines. It’s just magic and we’re so blessed to be able to be connected here physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

Lucinda [1:04] Such a treasure. It is interesting and a blessing.

Mark [1:08] Connections, how do how does the Lucinda connect to herself?  What’s her process of connection?

Connection to Spaciousness of Nature

Lucinda [1:17] Yeah, well, I mean, the first thing I wanted to say is the environment.  Living down here it’s a beach walk, its a cliff walk, it’s the bush.  It’s the birds.  An ocean swim, Wim Hof style, as we were talking about before.  I felt myself getting really, really disconnected and living in Melbourne and being here now for over 18 months.  So it’s just been really plugging back into Mother Earth.  That’s been enormous for me and just remembering.  I stand on those cliff faces sometimes and just manifest and articulate out to the ocean.  I talked to the brushes and the trees as I go on. Yeah, it just connects me and immediately with nature.

Mark [2:11] When you compare the two, living here compared to living in Melbourne.  What do you notice is different for your body and your being?  Being here compared to living in a heavily populated environment?  What do you notice a difference?

Lucinda [2:28] Its the spaciousness – it’s just room for me to breathe and with that spaciousness, I’ve got time to really align and create.  It’s that spaciousness, just that noise and that busyness aren’t in my being.  I just got time to be and let things emerge.  It just feels more organic and a lot more – I suppose, just pure are more wholesome living down here.  I was getting really anxious in the city and just kind of feeling ‘what’s the point’ and the traffic.  Like things were getting me really down and I feel grateful truly, every day down here, I just go wow – here we are again, another day what can I create and connect with?

Embodying my connection to Nature

Mark [3:24] Would it be fair to say in one respect, you’ve become more embodied in your being by being in this environment compared to a city environment?

Lucinda [3:37] Yeah, I definitely – the oxymoron a little bit with that is that I was a bodyworker with two bustling studios in Melbourne.  So helping people reconnect with themselves and their body – taking people on sort of almost transcendental journeys and releasing emotion.  I was doing that, but simultaneously feeling quite disconnected from myself.  So, it’s been an interesting one.  Like, I’ve been on quite a journey being back here feeling, for a long time I was feeling quite disembodied from my body. Like just forgetting to feel a connection to it. So that’s been quite an unraveling – of just remembering that I am in this body and to breathe deeply into it.  Connect with it and feel the lightness when I get out of the ocean.  Just rolling around on the grass doing some yoga or whatever. I mean, I’m not saying that’s perfect. I’ve still got a way to go embodying my body, but I’m definitely on route to feeling a lot more of a full being.

A journey of our Head & Heart

Mark [4:50] As you’re embodying, are you coming more into your heart and less into your head?

Lucinda [4:57] Yeah, I mean that is always a journey for all of us.  I mean – I like to feel that I am a heart-centred person but the head does get in the way. I’m not going to lie, I can battle, you know, with that intellect.  But it’s a constant practice of kindness and keeping the heart at the core.  Just remembering that place of softness and compassion for others – but it’s a constant practice for me.  The head does get in the way.

Mark [5:40] When you notice it get in the way, would you have disconnected from your heart?

My Zen Connection ~ Witnessing the Triggers

Lucinda [5:48] Yeah, I think sometimes – I think that was Ram Dass that, ‘saying think you’re enlightened and then spend a week with your family.’   I think that quote is really funny because I’ve been on quite a journey of reconnecting with the family.  Living here with my Mum and my sister and her son are now in the mix of that dynamic.  It’s a really close living that we have and old triggers can come up.  Particularly with my sister and my dynamic.  I love her to bits, she’s my best friend, but sometimes we can really trigger each other and that intellect that head can smash through and be a little bit sharp.  The heart can disconnect there in those points.  To me, that is just such a wonderful teacher right there – it’s a Zen teacher and I’ve just got to keep remembering that is an opportunity for me to keep saying, ‘hey, Lou step back, let go of that head and that old trigger in that dynamic, that’s not helpful to either of us and reconnect with the heart.

Mark [6:56] And as you connect to the trigger, how much of that trigger is needing your healing your loving-kindness and your compassion for it?

Connecting to Compassion ~ Pause & Pivot

Lucinda [7:07] Absolutely, compassion for myself.  For finding, like, I’m bringing awareness to those times.  At the moment I’m really learning a beautiful technique, which is called ‘pausing and pivoting.’  So sort of pausing in that moments of deep trigger and frustration.  Like last night, I went to shoot off a text to somebody I wasn’t happy about.  I paused and then in that pivot, turning around, coming back to the heart and finding a kinder, more loving way of – really sort of turning that frustration around and communicating it better.  So this is my deep practice at the moment is that pause and pivot, it’s important.

Mark [7:57] It’s a great segue into connecting to others. In your connection to others, when you are centred and you are embodied, is there a difference to the energy of connection to others?

Lucinda [8:12] In regards – in comparison to the family?

Mark [8:16] Family, friends, others?

Lucinda [8:19] As opposed to myself?

Mark [8:20] As opposed to yourself?

Lucinda [8:23] I think I’m dropping into a deeper and deeper authenticity as I reached my 40th year in July.  I feel like my relationship internally and with others is really quite similar these days.

Connection to Others Deepens

Mark [8:41] And the more connected to yourself, you’re noticing – as you’re more connected to yourself, does that create a deeper energetic connection to others?

Lucinda [8:52] 100%.  Yep, the deeper presence and space and kindness that I’m giving to myself 100%.  Its felt and encompassing and connected with others.  I know again and again from experience for myself that the two intrinsically linked, the connection with myself and all others.  It’s all sentient beings actually.

Mark [9:24] It is isn’t it.  As you’re connecting to yourself and this is the hard part with this stuff is because a lot of that connection it’s invisible.  It’s intellectually, analytically sometimes we can’t pin it.  Words can’t even describe it, but there’s like a flow between two people.  When the flow is not coming back, what do you experience when the flow may not be coming back towards you?

More Accepting of Connections Flow

Lucinda [9:55] Well, I think in the past and maybe to my nature, I’ve been a perpetual people pleaser.  That comes in my background of being a bit of a performer and event host.  Lover of people in hospitality and tourism and all areas that I’ve been in.  Just this desire, but I feel the deeper I go into my journey, the less I’m taking it personally, I would say.  So, if that flow is not felt and not coming back, I’m not taking it so personally, these days.  I’m understanding deeply that everybody’s projecting their own reality and their own reality.  It’s okay, I can give them heart and move on.  I think if it’s not flowing, it’s okay.

Mark [10:45] Well done.

Lucinda [10:45] Yeah, I think the vibe attracts your tribe.  But diversity is wonderful as well and I’m open to connecting with all sorts, but I don’t need to push it up a hill these days.

The Inner Teachings of Disconnection

Mark [11:00] And I’m wondering whether we’re at a wonderful point in time, of evolution we are in that our connection to others, we’re more – everybody seems to have more insight about projection and we’re able to own the disconnect.  When there is a disconnection instead of arguing about and we’re able to process it at a different level, which can then bring further reconnect.  It’s like a thank you. Thank you for being the trigger.  And as we’re doing that, I wonder what impact that’s having on our journey as human beings and sentient beings?

Lucinda [11:45] Yeah, its interesting isn’t it.  Sometimes it’s just not worth the fight.  Like sometimes I’d rather buy my tranquillity and just ‘agree to disagree.’   I was an avid debater once upon a time and I loved a good devil’s advocate argument.   I feel everything is such vibration and since that rippling effect and there are many points where I just prefer to lay down the sword and give love and respect other opinions how different it is and move forward.

Radiance of Letting Go

Mark [12:26] Is that like a letting go?

Lucinda [12:28] Yeah, I think so.  I think that’s part of my journey into more radiance and is just being able to let things go and not being so staunch about things.

Mark [12:40] And when you let go and come back, more into that radiance, what resonates inside you?

Lucinda [12:49] Just the openness and the space that creates for things that are more joyous and beautiful.  Love aligned like – it can so hold on to things that we can as Homo sapiens hold on to things that really don’t serve us.  I have learned as I let go of those things that are clunky and not for me.  Why the hell am I hanging on it?  It just opens up that space for freshness and new and things that are more aligned. So I think that let go is important and it breathes space.

Mark [13:37] And as we’re letting go is the body, not as contracting?

Lucinda [13:42] Yes, softens.

Mark [13:44] Softens

Connecting to our Space of Letting Go

Lucinda [13:44] Yeah, even now as you say that – the words penetrate into my body and into my breath. I know how important that pause and that let go is.  It really is so important.

Mark [13:58] There’s like an incredible peace there – isn’t it as you are doing it.  How do we use that as the anchor point?  Sometimes yeah we get caught up in that intellectualizing/analyzing.  There’s an old cliché in psychotherapy ‘analysis-paralysis’ we get stuck and the body starts to contract.  The more we notice our body – how do we let the flow go?  How do we just allow it to – just to be?  In moving to the ‘All That Is,’ when I talk about the term ‘All That Is’ – what happens?  What does that touch for you the “All That Is’?  Is that your God – what can that be for you?

Lucinda [14:43] Yeah, I mean it feels really prevalent is to say right now in the middle of this, so-called pandemic, or whatever.  The ‘All That Is’ is this collective, like remembering that we’re all atoms in the same soup.  And the ‘All That Is’ is just everything that’s in the stratosphere and in this Cosmos.  We’ve all got a responsibility to keep our vibration and our frequency light and loving.  Keep choosing to let go for the ‘All That Is’ for each other, for ourselves.  I think we’re all deep expressions of divinity, of Gaia, of magnificent, of something so higher, we are that – part of that.  It’s a dance, I mean, there’s so much that I could reform – I feel like I’m stumbling around at it.

Connecting to my ‘All That Is’

Mark [15:51] When you to connect to it, what happens to Lucinda, when you connect to that? What happens in your being?

Lucinda [16:00] It’s just everything does let go.  All the worries – it’s just a deep knowing that – there is no separation. Just that oneness, it’s just a big giant exhalation and trust – it’s a leaning in.

Mark [16:20] Where does the intellect go in that?

Lucinda [16:22] Just disappears into the ether.  It’s not remembered in those moments.  It’s like all at a cellular level, everything’s just in rest. It’s a natural great peace.

My Flow State that is ‘All That Is’

Mark [16:41] What’s the flow state like for you when you’re in that space?

Lucinda [16:44] Yeah, it’s just phew!  I am the flow. Yeah, there’s no resistance.  Because resistance is so futile and I think there can be so much that – it’s a bit of a dance in the day-to-day.  But those beautiful moments when it’s remembered that divine remembrance.

I am the flow. Yeah, there's no resistance. Click To Tweet

Mark [17:09] How do you come back to that divine remembrance?  What’s your process to come back to that point?

Lucinda [17:17] I mean – of course, nature and breath and moments with friends.  I don’t know how piecing this thing is.  There are plant medicines that I can connect with – all sorts. The dance floor is enormous for me. I love good doof just parting out in nature with gorgeous humans.   Relaxing by a fire simplicity, the night sky.

Connecting to an Oneness through Nature

Mark [17:51] In that space, where does the sense of self go?

Lucinda [17:56] Yeah, that’s interesting, I would say it doesn’t exist it falls away.  It disappears into the – everything.

Mark [18:07] And collectively if we all – we’ve all got the ability?

Lucinda [18:12] Oh, absolutely.

Mark [18:15] And what would you imagine could happen if we – and I suspect we are.  Collectively starting to tap into that more and more as sentient beings.  What impact would that have on Mother Earth?

Healing Mother Earth through our Oneness

Lucinda [18:34] Yeah, well I mean, fundamentally at a deep core level that we would remember.  We are so part of her and it and the all and we would tend for her.  There would be more guardians, more custodians really. Taking heed and really tending her and being – caring for her and thinking about consumption and really thinking about each other.  As this one species – actually not just one species, all species.  Just kindness I think.  Kindness would be at the core if we really remembered and dissipated our separation.

Mark [19:27] As a client or a guest actually said, reminded me that Mother Earth is a living creature too, just like us.  And I’m wondering whether, as humans, we’ve sort of forgotten that she is a living creature?

Lucinda [19:45] I think we forget all the time, myself included.  It doesn’t take much to see the clouds rolling and the stars twinkling and the oceans rolling.  Just the trees dancing from the top of that lighthouse yesterday. It was just gorgeous to look down at the brush along the coast and to see everything, grooving together in its own little dance.  It’s just – it’s throbbing, we just – it’s taking that time out of our busyness just to be and bring awareness and remember that way.

Harmony & Balance of Nature

Mark [20:25] Sometimes when I’m out in nature in Anglesea – in the bush – in the middle of the bush, in the middle of the morning, I just feel a sense of love.  And I wonder whether nature just operates from an energy of love and balance and harmony and has it got lessons to teach us?

Lucinda [20:50] Well, I think she rules with a – as much with a velvet glove as she does with an iron fist.  She’s all of it and everything as we are.  I mean, love is kind but can also be ferocious to can’t it.  She’s all about.

Mark [21:09] Yeah, love can be fascinating.  From love, we can be hurt from love.  And when we’re hurt from love, we can go to the iron fist and hate but underneath the hate is the hurt.  And the more we start to connect each and every one of us to – it’s our hurt.  What’s that hurt needing?  And how do we connect to that hurt in a different way than what we previously have been connecting to it?  The more – are we opening our hearts to do more healing?

Healing Within ~ Healing Mother Earth

Lucinda [21:49] Yeah, as we were saying before, Rumi’s, beautiful quote, ‘the wound is where the light comes in’ and I think that’s so true.  And yes, a lot of us do project from our pain and our hurt.  Collectively I mean, this is why warfare and pain in the world exist.  But yes, the more we heal ourselves and parent, our inner child and really do that deep healing, I believe that it’s going to translate to Earth healing.  At the moment right now, the planet is in a roaring mess.  I think that’s, the deep subconscious swirling and all the pain and toxicity coming up to the surface.  And we’ve got a lot to look at the micro and macro level and it does start with self.  So the more we can all be intuitively finding our peace and our way through our wounds and what’s come to us.  Whatever cards we’ve been bestowed and dealt.  Looking at it and being kind, forgiving it.  Being tender with ourselves and tender with our inner child.  Looking at our childhood, finding systems, human navigation systems, therapists that resonate, group work, connection, whatever it is.  Reading, but really trying to find that inner peace – that way through because I really feel that is going to be the deep healing of our planet if we all do our work.  And of course, without that rushed forced agenda and push and pained business.  No, we need to do it in a beautiful, gentle, kind way and let it thread through our life and our existence and just kind to our loved ones and others as well, as they work through their shit (laughter).

Social Isolation Coming Home to Self

Mark [24:01] I was just reflecting, as you’re sharing this, then that this pandemic, whilst it’s really can be quite fearful. It can also be a really important time to really in the self-isolation to really reflect in and we’re all having to slow down and change the business.  In social isolation were you were slowing down.  What a beautiful and wonderful opportunity to just take this time to check-in.  Bring some peace, come within, and trust in our intuitive healing nature to do the healing.  As we can emulate that out there – put that out into the universe. I’m wondering what that might do for healing this current crisis that we’re all experiencing?

Social Isolation Coming Home to Self Click To Tweet

Lucinda [25:04] I think that’s a great opportunity this time. I don’t know what’s ahead.  There is a lot of mass hysteria about this pandemic but I am totally in your camp, I think it’s a forced stop.  It’s an opportunity for everybody to take heed and really go within and just self-source.  Self-source and take the time out and have a pause, reconvene with what’s important.

The Graciousness of Human Connection

Mark [25:42] It’s really very interesting, quite beautiful to see in Italy, even in the self-isolation people are still connecting.  Those pictures in the villas where they are on the eighth storey on the balcony.

Lucinda [26:01] So beautiful.

Mark [26:02] It is beautiful and that’s still a form of connection.  It’s a powerful form of connection and how important and how powerful that essence of connection is to help each other in such times.

Lucinda [26:21] They’re calling up social distancing, let’s keep it physical distancing, but keep the social – let’s keep the social connection going.    I think the way we were going, it was just exhausting.  Everyone was exhausted, it wasn’t sustainable the way society was going, really.  So this is a beautiful opportunity for, deep connection.  I mean, right now, the whole globe is on the same page with this pandemic.  I mean, as awful as it is, this virus has brought deep connectivity that I don’t think – it’s unprecedented.  Certainly in our history and lifetime, we haven’t felt this deep connection on a global level nothing’s bought us to our knees like this.

In Deep Connection ~ our essence is creators

Mark [27:10] When we hit into that deep connection as human beings, there’s so much power in that deep connection.  Its – we haven’t seen anything yet.  There’s so much essence in there, there’s so much power and if we can just start to just trust and have faith in that power.  I’m really confident that we human beings – we can past it. Yeah, I really do believe that.

Lucinda [27:45] I think fundamentally our essence as human beings is creators.  We’ve very much been in the consumer paradigm.  I mean, I’m not saying all but certainly the vast mass majority of Western civilization culture.  It’s really now time to dig deep and remember truly who we are – that we are creators we’re resourceful.  In fact, genius lies within all of us.  So, it’s just time to clear the debris and remember who we are and that we’re all connected intrinsically to the whole, as one.  Its time to love thy neighbour and ourselves that we’ve never loved ourselves before.  Dig deep right into the trenches of these incredible beings that we are.  And tickle out all the creativity that we can and now more than ever, it’s time to show up.  We’re so lucky to have technology as a connective device, love it or hate it. It can be an addictive tool for all of us true but really harnessing it for great things and connectivity in a new way, a healing way, a creative way, a connective way.

Mark [29:05] That’s beautiful.  Young people coming through, I asked guests, what piece of advice would you have for younger people coming through on their journey in life?

Teach young children to be Courageous

Lucinda [29:22] To be courageous, to really entirely by yourself.  I love children.  I work with children.  I’ve had to shut down my drama school now. I’m putting it online at the moment, but I want to share it with the kids to really be courageous.  To be creative, to unleash your imagination.  Imagination circles the world. Keep being true and remembering our Earth.  Remember to tend her, grow some carrots – locals the future I believe.  Whatever this time is, I really believe in the kids. They’re such special creatures and I think for adults we’ve got to keep modeling that courageous heart spirit to our kids.  It’s really important – more important, now more than ever.

Mark [30:23] There’s a real a lightness as you share that.  It’s an incredible aliveness and that gift that those kids must get from you would be contagious.

Lucinda [30:34] I love children so much.  I’ve got some Godchildren around and a beautiful nephew Willow that I love. I’ve had these divine – about 13 children and my three drama clubs.  They all become your babies. They’re all just so individual and they are up for anything and they love bold, fun, creative adult leadership. They need it. They need big sisters and uncles.  They need strong heart warriors, guardian shipping and showing them the way.  And inviting them to be brave and to be them and to collaborate together and celebrate each other and themselves.

Mark [31:23] And just be themselves with any of that social conditioning that unfortunately gets projected out onto them.

Lucinda [31:29] I teach them to unleash their nonsense and their creativity and be bold – lots, all sorts of activities and ways to unleash that.

Mark [31:44] Lucinda, I’d really love to just take this opportunity to thank you for your energy. To thank you for your gift to yourself, others and ‘All That Is’ and I’ve been really honored to be able to have this conversation with you about your connection to yourself, Others and ‘All That Is’.

Lucinda [32:03] Thank you so much Mark, for coming.  Making yourself come all the way down to Aireys Inlet especially at these times.  It’s really special the work that you’re doing.   I want to encourage people to keep looking in each other’s eyes, especially the left eye.  That emotional space and the soul.  Eyes really are the window and it’s just been so special to have half an hour with you.  Very respectfully from the other side of the table, but just your deep presence has just been exquisite.

Mark [32:36] Has been lovely. Thank you. It’s been a beautiful opportunity.  As you’ve said, ‘our eyes are the window to our souls’.  I think we’re – in the business and of life, I’m wondering whether we’re losing that essence that we’ve all innately got – that spirit essence,

Lucinda [32:57] We’ve got to stay connected.

Mark [32:57] We do – Namaste.

Lucinda [33:00] Namaste



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