Connecting to what feels True, Right & Calm
Mark [0:00] Beverley Welcome to the Heart of Connection Podcast. I’d like to introduce Beverly Gibbie who has been married to Steve for 15 years. She is a mother of two and a grandmother of four grandsons who keep her running around like there’s no tomorrow. And Kim is 12 years old. Beverly, welcome to the Heart of Connection podcast.
Beverley [0:21] Thank you, Mark.
Mark [0:23] Is there anything further that we could add to your introduction?
Connections to Geelong are long-term
Beverley [0:28] Just that I have lived in Geelong for 75 years? I come from a large family of nine. I think that’s about it.
Mark [0:44] And was the family of nine not from Geelong? Whereabouts were they from?
Mark [0:47] They were big families back in those days.
Beverley [0:49] All from Geelong.
Beverley [0:54] They were big Catholic families (laughter).
Mark [0:59] The conversation today is about a connection to self, others and ‘All That Is.’ When you reflect on that title, what happens for Beverly, what do you notice? What do you experience?
Connection to myself feels real, right & calm
Beverley [1:12] As I’m connecting to myself, it just feels real, it feels right, it feels calm. I feel like I’m just satisfied with a moment where I connect with myself. So it’s been a long journey to discover myself. I came from a family where females weren’t allowed to be angry and we did what was told. It was always a bit confused about that. But then, when I was 35, my Mum died tragically and I went locked jaw. My jaw just went locked. Through a lot of searching, I discovered that I was trapped in what was called fetal rage. I started therapy and I needed to really discover what I was really feeling, and to really get to know who I was. So it’s been a really long journey. My reaction to everything was a little bit more difficult, I think the most because I’m a twin. I shared the womb with my twin. I was really sick as the sick twin. I was born three-pound, and she was born six pounds. So I gave away myself basically, all of my life until I did a lot of work on myself. That helped me to really discover what I felt, what I wanted, what I didn’t want, and who I really was.
Mark [1:30] This is highlighted by Jason Silva in his Utube channel ‘Shots of Awe’ – How Primal Trauma Resurfaces.
Universe connected me to my Twin
Mark [3:22] Sounds like it’s a blessing to have gone through all that work now that I would imagine going through the suffering of that therapy in the early days would not have been a great place to be connected to it?
Beverley [3:40] It was really, really painful and very confusing. Because my pattern was to just give away myself, and make the other person important, as I did in the world, no fault of my twin. I just started was ill and just started to disappear. So it was painful but hey I could I have not discovered this.
Connecting to the Gift of Healing
Mark [4:10] The healing of that pain. Is that now, the joy – is that the gift of healing it, doing that work to heal the wounds?
Beverley [4:23] It’s absolutely, I found more of myself. A great appreciation for feeling good. Just this contentment, that I didn’t know what’s available, yes.
Mark [4:40] The birthing imprint is – the in utero and birthing imprint is pretty important on our brains development. Not an easy one to undo. Now that you’ve done a lot of work on it, can you recognize the birthing imprint starting to energetically arise in your being?
Recognising the energetic connection to my birthing imprint.
Beverley [5:04] Absolutely, yes I do. I think it’s given me a depth of knowing that some.
Mark [5:15] So the depth of the work has deepened your connection to yourself?
Beverley [5:21] Absolutely, yes. I think it’s really helped me with as a mum and a grandmother. I’m picking up things that maybe people don’t see. So I’m really, really appreciating it. I was resentful that I had to do all that work. I was resentful about all the money I spent. But now I’m feeling like it’s my gift. It’s been my gift because I have a depth of understanding and compassion that maybe I didn’t have before.
Mark [6:00] The depth of that understanding is beyond words and beyond the intellectual brain down to more of an intuitive emotional brain?
Connecting and trusting my Knowing
Beverley [6:09] Absolutely. Absolutely, with no words that are exactly right. I guess my downfall can be I don’t always trust it. I have to keep coming back to – it’s usually right. I feel like I’ve done quite a bit of damage by not going with it. You know, flicking it off as though what would I know and more and more, I just absolutely appreciate that depth.
Mark [6:46] I wonder whether it’s – I described it sometimes – it’s like the Soul – the heart and soul has a deep knowing and says, No, that’s not okay to do that. But the egoic brain and my intellectual brain say go on and do it and there is this conflict inside. Nine times – 10 times out of 10 the heart and soul’s knowledge ~ deep knowing is spot on?
Trusting our Deep Knowing
Beverley [7:15] Absolutely. Absolutely. It’s a truth that needs to be respected. And put first, but it’s not easy to do.
Mark [7:26] That intellectual brain of ours just seems to want to take over.
Beverley [7:30] Absolutely. Yes.
Mark [7:31] The confusing part, do you find that the confusing part?
Beverley [7:34] Very confusing, really confusing.
Mark [7:37] Its got a right-wrong or black-white rationale. One plus one always equals two. Hang on a minute what this heart stuff this soul information – hang on a minute, what are you doing to me?
Connecting to the truth of my Soul or my Spirit
Beverley [7:47] That’s right. Yes, I feel like that’s my worldly brain. Then when I listen to this quiet truth, it’s my soul or my spirit. It’s really worth listening to.
Mark [8:03] When you listen to what you notice happens in your body, and your being?
Beverley [8:10] I go to a really quiet place and I need to sit with it for quite a while before I feel confident enough and powerful enough to speak up. And to go – put it out there. And be honest. So it’s just the best feeling. It’s powerful without an ego.
Mark [8:41] Is it empowered?
Empowered Connection
Beverley [8:43] Absolutely empowered. That’s a word.
Mark [8:45] In the empowerment, is it like the head and heart aligning? Absolutely. It’s like the intellectual brain and the emotional brain they are sort of speaking a similar language.
Beverley [8:58] Absolutely. Yes. They really working together.
Mark [9:04] How do you then connect to others in that space?
Connecting to Others Empowers Respect
Beverley [9:14] I really, I feel really comfortable to connect with people. To gently say what I’m feeling. Actually, I really get a lot of respect, which surprises me and people take me really seriously. I am usually very grateful that I have just spoken from this place. So I think you get to a place where you know, not to say things sometimes. And other people you feel like its right to put it out there.
Mark [10:00] Is it like a flow-state?
Beverley [10:03] Yeah, that’s a good word. Yeah.
Flow-state Connection
Mark [10:05] In that flow-state, how deep is the authenticity and in the authenticity to people hear you differently?
Beverley [10:19] Yes, they do. They do hear me differently. And sometimes it’s even a little uncomfortable but I end up feeling for myself. They mirror image back gratitude. It’s like, it’s the only way I want to be with people, yeah.
Mark [10:45] Beautiful places isn’t it?
Beverley [10:46] Yes.
Mark [10:49] As you were sharing that I was just reflecting on the two-year-old grandson that you spoke of before, because at that age, they still in that innocence and they connect just beyond the intellect beyond the ego. It’s just pure.
Connecting to Pure Innocent Love
Beverley [11:08] It’s a pure yeah, it’s really pure. Yes. I’m really grateful I’ve have had this with the four boys. I’m always really quite surprised how much they love me and they want to come and stay. It’s been so special and I often say to my husband ~ did I love Adam and Tania this much? I guess I was in a different place and I was just living out who was supposed to be and not who I really was. But now I’m more at a soul level and it’s really different with my grandchildren. I’m very grateful.
Mark [11:59] Is the connection just an incredible flow and does it hold them as well?
Connected Flow-state of Love, Warmth & Acceptance
Beverley [12:08] Absolutely. If one little grandson said, nanny when I run in here feels like this house hugs me. So I think that says it. It feels like yeah my heart feels that. And it is like a lovely flow of love. The warmth, of acceptance.
Mark [12:35] It sounds like it’s just it fills the entire house and the every being inside that house at a cellular level.
Beverley [12:44] It does at the cellular level. Yes. Not always but it comes and goes.
Mark [12:51] We can’t always live in it I wish.
Beverley [12:54] That’s my fantasy.
Mark [12:58] Yeah, you know, I’m wondering at that point, if we could always live in it would that be from the Buddhist perspective, that top form of enlightenment, I can’t remember the name that they use for it. As mere mortals? We’re here on this earth for whatever the journey is.
Flow-state of Love connects me to my Higher Self
Mark [13:19] When you have that connection to self and others, as the house is hugging them? Where does it go? Where do you go when you hear that? Do you then connect to the ‘All That Is’ that’s beyond just the connection to self and others?
Beverley [13:39] Yes, I go to a spiritual place. It’s really – it feels higher than me. More embracing sometimes I think is my higher self. I have gone through stages of my being bought up religious and believing God was in man’s image. To letting that go and connecting with my ancestors, the ones that are past. To struggling sometimes whether it’s me, my higher self, or I’m connecting with something else that’s higher. I go in and out of not sure.
Mark [14:33] When you go into the uncertainty is that or could there be judgment there?
Beverley [14:41] More confusion than judgment or doubt? Yes. So, where’s this coming from? This is so beautiful and it’s powerful. And it’s quiet. And it’s calming and it’s wise? And what is? So I feel like there’s lovely energy coming from not sure.
Connection of Quietness & Power of the Higher Self
Mark [15:08] What do you notice? What do you experience in your body, as it’s there?
Beverley [15:14] A definite quietness, but also really quite powerful. It feels strong in a gentle, quiet way, it feels really powerful.
Mark [15:32] Is there peace and freedom in it?
Beverley [15:34] Absolutely, peace and freedom?
Mark [15:39] What happens in that peace and freedom? To the suffering and pain of life events?
Beverley [15:51] What happens to peace and freedom?
Mark [15:56] Yeah, what is the peace and freedom that you’re touching? What does that do for the suffering of life events to the life events? The suffering, the pain from the emotional pain from those life events, do they just dissolve?
Higher self is a feeling of peace and freedom from suffering
Beverley [16:08] Yes, they absolutely become smaller and smaller and the more I open up to this lovely peace, that pain of the past disappears, and it doesn’t have any more control over me because this peace is bigger.
Mark [16:30] Is that peace as I’m trying to – it’s really difficult, I sometimes experienced trying to put words around this part of the conversation because words don’t describe adequately enough that sensation, the felt sense of it. The word that’s been sitting in my consciousness is universal love?
Beverley [16:54] That feels really good to hear, universal love, and I haven’t thought about that. But that feels really good to hear, yes.
Mark [17:07] When we hear – sometimes I’ve found the emotional brain and the heart speaks a very different language. It’s more than sensate level felt level at an emotional level. When the intellectual brain hears a word – hears a resonance with a particular word, then there’s a deeper opening sometimes. With that universal love, what do you notice happens to you, and your connection to the ‘All That Is’? Whatever that is for you?
Connection to Universal Love is Healing
Beverley [17:45] I feel like I’m a part of something that’s healing. It’s like life healing, or it’s universal. There’s universal healing. I feel like I am a part of that. A sense of belonging. I feel like I’m doing what I’ve come to do.
Mark [18:16] That’s a pretty well factor that one. How does that? How does it guide you? How does it direct you – what do you notice?
Beverley [18:30] I’m uncomfortable if I’m not following it. You know, I feel scattered a bit confused and don’t feel right and I need to come back to it.
Mark [18:44] When you’re scattered and confused, would that be like it a disconnection to the universal love?
Disconnection from Universal Love
Beverley [18:51] Yes.
Mark [18:52] So something’s created that disconnection?
Beverley [18:55] It is an old pattern which just rears its head every now and again.
Mark [19:03] Is that the old birthing imprint? Yes. So that rears – its consciousness comes back. Is it asking you to pay a little bit more attention to it?
Beverley [19:16] Absolutely.
Mark [19:17] Give it some universal love? Yes. If you’re not giving it any universal love, does it sort of speak a bit louder?
Beverley [19:26] Yes and then it’s harder to come back and connect with that universal love. Yes. That’s the word you’re using it and it’s – that’s the word I needed. I wasn’t sure what it was but yes.
Connecting to Consciousness of old Wounds
Mark [19:42] Just watching you, sitting in your presence as you’re sharing the story – there are the freedom and peace, but it was like and not enough to describe what I was sensing in your presence is very deep.
Mark [19:59] How do you – when the birthing imprint is coming back and there is a disconnection. Do you notice the disconnection? How do you then experience yourself coming back to the point of reference – to that higher Power, universal love, that’s your gift?
Beverley [20:20] I usually go upstairs and I meditate. I just sit quietly, meditate, or just sit quietly and breathe and sometimes it takes longer than others. That’s what I need to do to come back.
Meditation is the connection to reconnect
Mark [20:39] Is that silence – the intellectual mind? Silencing the intellectual mind.
Beverley [20:48] Yes, absolutely.
Meditation is the connection to reconnect. Click To TweetMark [20:51] So when that? Is it when that imprint comes back, associated to that is the old rehearsed story that we’ve somehow – that energy’s somehow created for us.
Beverley [21:04] Yes. Like my worldly beliefs. Yes and I think because I’m a mirror-image twin, where, you know, one’s right-handed, one’s left-handed, and the brain feels like, mine’s more feminine than my twin, she’s more masculine. I find when I split off and become in this world, or the old pattern, it’s hard to come back to this really quiet, peaceful place. I just do need to just sit and breathe.
Mark [21:47] And reconnect?
Beverley [21:48] And reconnect.
Mark [21:53] Has the universe of love moved or have you moved away from it?
Inner Journey Search Opened my Higher Self Connection
Beverley [22:01] I was never introduced to it. I have – let me think. I feel like I’ve – the search that I was on, opened me up to it.
Mark [22:20] St. Francis of Assisi had a quote he said, ‘what you are looking for – is who is looking‘? What we’re looking for, what we’re searching for is who is looking? e.g., we’re looking for ourselves in our search.
Beverley [22:37] Yes, that’s right.
Mark [22:40] When we find that higher power, as you talk about – that universal love, well what a depth.
Beverley [22:48] Great depth.
Mark [22:50] What would you imagine would happen if more of us human beings begin to awaken to that higher power, universal love that you’re sharing with me today?
Connecting our Innate Healing Potential ~ God’s Gift
Beverley [23:04] I think they’ll be just healing energy that would be just God’s gift. It would be – just more people would connect. They’d heal. I feel like you can heal your own health. You can help each other heal. I think it’d be wonderful.
Mark [23:31] I borrowed this quote. It was a quote, “physicians heal thyself.” One of the Greek philosophers mentioned it and I’ve changed it to, “heal thyself ~ heal Mother Earth.” I wonder whether we’re now moving in consciousness to space where more people are awakening to the higher power universal love to give back to Mother Earth or give back to the universe. Any views on that experience?
Awakening & Awareness is Growing
Beverley [24:09] Absolutely. There are more and more people have – they’re touching on the deeper story. I see that with a lot of my friends. A lot of people my age thinks that’s crazy. I also see lots of people that are on a healing journey and do connect with the universe and looking for things to change and connecting with the earth.
Mark [24:44] Is it an incredible shift for you from over the years, of your transformation? Is it surprising to see how many others now are awakening to and is it growing from your perspective?
Beverley [24:58] Absolutely. There are so many more people who are more comfortable with it. It’s a way of life for so many people now. When I started my journey, say 40 years ago, people thought I’d grew two heads and they thought she’s gone crazy. But now it seems a norm for a lot of people, which is lovely.
Awareness & Awakening a growing Norm
Mark [25:27] How do – you do sort of notice that normal? Is there a connection? Do you notice a connection to that norm with those other people? Do you just read it? Do you just sense it?
Beverley [25:38] You just sense it. I feel like it just feel it.
Mark [25:43] There’s just a knowing that they know too?
Beverley [25:45] Yes, that’s right and I find I start chattering and they understand or they start chattering. We’re just like Trish and I ~ we just talk and talk to each other and we’re just on this lovely truth.
Mark [26:08] It’s at a very deep level, isn’t it? That truth – it’s so hard to put words to it? I don’t think words adequately ever going to describe that truth you’re sharing with me just now?
Intuitively sensing the Connection of Knowing
Beverley [26:20] No, that’s right and that’s the thing, isn’t it? It’s so hard to find the words to – connect the word with the feeling.
Mark [26:31] That sense of knowing is just there?
Beverley [26:35] Intuition yeah – I call it my third eye. It’s this ~ I don’t know. It’s really hard to put words to it.
Mark [26:49] It reminds me, having been Catholic too. The Lord’s Prayer, “our Father in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as in heaven.” I’m wondering in that knowing are we doing on earth as it is in heaven?
Are we heeding the Lord’s Prayer?
Beverley [27:11] No, not enough (laughter ‘go with that, beautiful’). I think that we can do a lot more. I think we’re just beginning and there’s just so much more to be had. So much more to know – so much more to change, how we live. How we connect with people, how we love people, how we forgive. Even how we eat and how we look after ourselves. I think this a long, long way to go.
Mark [27:51] Have we – are we starting? Is there a movement of awakened people who are starting that? Just touching on an aspect of that?
Beverley [28:01] Absolutely. Oh, absolutely, yes.
Mark [28:04] As that consciousness raises can we then facilitate more than – ‘heaven on earth’?
Our Connection & job to Create Heaven on Earth (Lord’s Prayer)
Beverley [28:15] Absolutely, I think that’s our job. You know, it’s what we’ve come to do. If we want to follow our soul level. I think that’s – I feel like that’s why I’ve come here. I feel like with my family, they are awakening more and more. They’re just opening up more and more to the truth. Yeah, I feel like yes, that seems to be the only thing that means anything to me. It’s – I’m passionate about changing my truth.
Mark [29:02] As you’re sharing that with me. I just noticed and just got a felt sense as like your energy flow was hovering about 80 – 95% to 98% just then. Would that have been a fair assessment of the energy in your body?
Beverley [29:16] Yes.
Mark [29:17] There’s so much power and so much…
Beverley [29:20] Yes. I just like to be there more than it is. I’m just wanting it to stay with me more. Depends on – like, I was afraid this morning when I woke up that spiritual side of me, it’s not there this morning. I sat and meditated. I had a big day, yesterday was Father’s Day, and I was tired. I was – it won’t open up for me today. That’s how I was feeling.
Connections & Conversations open our Energy
Mark [29:50] Its opened – my sense it’s opened up now as we’re having the conversation. I wonder whether we – to help people that are on the journey to awakening, to be able to connect to others who are in similar paths to help, just, I’m down my batteries down a little bit today. Just by reconnecting to those that are in the know, can then help me – let go of the humanness bit that I’m in at the time.
Beverley [30:21] Yes.
Mark [30:23] We can always – I love to be able to levitate this space every day. It’s humanly not possible because of the ebbs and flows of live. The light and the dark, the peace and chaos, happiness and sadness, we’ve got the opposites. Its how do we I sometimes wonder – I had this thought the other day that, religions are a bit on the nose and a bit done and dusted and I wonder with a Mother Earth could be a new religion?
Mother Earth our New Religion
Beverley [31:00] Yes, absolutely and also connecting with like – talking with you today. Just being with kindred spirits, I think helps us to open up to our own spiritual awareness and connect with ourselves. I think just being with like-minded people.
Mark [31:27] It is difficult to stay in that space because of the old story, the old energies from birthing imprints, in utero imprints, and childhood story and old social conditioning. They do create a story and energy and its how do we remind ourself – oh yeah that’s-that old story. How I and connected to other kindred spirits is – can it be a reminder I am back in that old story. How do I let that go? When we’re in that space, it is gone, it’s like it’s dissolved. Sometimes I say to people, when we’re having this conversation, what happens to your mental health and emotional health when you’re in that Soul? There is no mental health. There is no – it’s all there.
Mark [32:23] One of the questions I’ve been inviting guests to answer is, what advice would you be giving to a young person growing and coming through? What’s the advice you might give to your grandsons or to, to a younger version of yourself coming through this time, in life from your experiences?
Advice to the Younger Generation
Beverley [32:50] I would say to always be honest with how you feel. Don’t be afraid to go – to do what you want to do.
Beverley [33:11] Find your truth. Just be honest with how you feel and what you really want, what you don’t like. And just find self-worth, self-love. I do that now with my 12-year-old granddaughter and she’s really getting it. She goes, I didn’t think I was important but then I remembered you saying how I can breathe and just think that I am important. So, I guess I’m doing it with my granddaughter. So that’s my advice.
Changing Australia’s Culture around Therapy
Mark [33:54] Would you – in Australia, we seem to be a bit reticent about going to get therapeutic help for our old trauma, emotional pain. Would you like to see and do we need to raise consciousness here in Australia to others to, look we’ve come in with stuff, we’re going to need to clear it, we’re going to need to heal it. Going to seek help is not a bad thing. It’s an actually good thing to open up that door to healing the wounds in there. Heal that trauma, because the gift, the self-gift that we give ourselves is beyond words.
Beverley [34:42] Absolutely. Our daughter is a Doctor of Philosophy, and she leads groups in mindfulness and she helps people in traumas. I would definitely encourage it to be everyone’s right, to go and heal their traumas. So you know, I did many years of primal therapy. It was as if some people thought I grew another head, and but I just needed to heal and I didn’t really care what people thought. I just knew I needed to heal. What didn’t sit right with me?
Connecting to Heal & Release
Mark [35:23] Heal and release it.
Beverley [35:24] Absolutely.
Mark [35:25] And through the Primal therapy is a beautiful space to just allow the being to release cathartically what it needed to release without judgment or self-consciousness. Just let the body do the release.
Beverley [35:39] It’s exactly right. I spent so much time going into feelings with no words and it was deep. But I found a lot of compassion for little tiny, Beverly.
Mark [35:55] The trauma is probably pre-verbal.
Beverley [35:59] That’s exactly right.
Mark [36:00] There are no words, experience when we’re at that pre-verbal stage. But the body still has a memory of it. Absolutely. Allowing our bodies to fully feel in and to fully cathartic release how the body needs to release in a safe way, is healing that trauma and releasing that trauma at the cellular level.
Beverley [36:00] It absolutely is.
Mark [36:26] What a gift and what a sign of courage to traverse that space. That takes courage.
Beverley [36:33] Thank you. I felt like I didn’t have any choice. I felt like it took me and I had no choice.
Mark [36:43] Was that spirit taking you into that no choice? Thank you for the courage to allow Spirit to guide you into that space.
Beverley [36:52] Thank you. Yes and being – I even felt like I got to a place where I knew why the egg split and why I become a twin with a very overloaded mum and yeah, I just feel like – how I could I not understand this, and just appreciate my journey.
Mark [37:20] It’s not always an easy journey but when we can get to that level of appreciation and honour it, what a gift. Sounds like the Soul is speaking?
Beverley [37:33] Absolutely.
Mark [37:35] Beverley, thank you so much for this opportunity to have a conversation with you about your connection to self, others and your Soul and your Spirit.
Beverley [37:44] Thank you, Mark. It’s been an absolute pleasure.
Mark [37:47] Thank you for the knowing. Thank you. Namaste.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai