Poetry my Connection to Expression & Healing ~ Episode 106 ~ My Conversation with Anamika Dutta

Heart of Connection Podcast
Heart of Connection Podcast
Poetry my Connection to Expression & Healing ~ Episode 106 ~ My Conversation with Anamika Dutta

Mark [0:00] I’d like to welcome Anamika Dutta to the World Heart of Connection podcast I’m your host Mark Randall. Anamika is the alumna of the University of Mumbai in India. She holds a master’s degree in mass communication and journalism and is currently on the part of doing her PhD congratulations. Anamika currently resides in Mumbai, India and often travels the world to satisfy her wanderlust. She is a writer and also a spoken word artist. Her podcast is called spoken word by Anamika. She aspires to create a safe place for poetry lovers and to heal people through her storytelling. Welcome to the World Heart of Connection podcast.

Anamika [0:42] Thank you so much. It’s an honour to be here. Thank you for having me.

Home Schooling Opened the World of Poetry

Mark [0:47] Just by way of introduction. What has led you into poetry? And as a form of healing? Is there a little bit of a story that led you into this?

Anamika [0:59] Yeah, so for me poetry is quite close to my heart. I was homeschooled for the initial 12 years of my life and it was just me like sitting in a room and reading a lot of stories and a lot of poetry. So, I started writing, I think, at the age of 12 13 years old I started writing poetry. It was kind of like a way to express myself as a form of expression. So, it kind of helped me heal, though, everything that I’ve been through in life. And I write about my life experiences no matter. And most of my poetry, I would say, they’re sad – the poems are kind of sad, but I write happy things too. But for me, it’s a way to communicate with the world. And it’s a way to just let out all my feelings and all my emotions. So that’s what I use poetry for.

Mark [1:55] Is it also a way that you connect to yourself?

Connecting to Self in Poetry

Anamika [2:00] Yes, and I think it’s one of the reasons why write.  Poetry is just like speaking to yourself. So they these are like, conversations with myself. So, it’s a way to connect with myself and to the world, just by words.

Mark [2:20] And when you’re connecting to yourself with the words, are you connecting to yourself, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually?

Anamika [2:29] Absolutely, yes. I think it’s a wholesome experience writing is very therapeutic. Because it heals you from within, physically, mentally, spiritually. It’s the truest form of, how you’re feeling and expression. So definitely, it’s a wholesome experience.

Mark [2:55] How much does it touch your heart? When you are connecting to yourself in poetry? How much does it really go into your heart and allow your heart to speak?

Connecting Deeply in Poetry

Anamika [3:07] I cry a lot while writing poetry. I also smile, it depends on what I’m writing at that moment.  If it’s something that is a sad memory or something that causes, flashbacks or something like that – then if it’s hurtful, then I cry. So, you can tell. I mean, poetry writing is not just like, sitting there and just forming words and sentences. It’s just let all those emotions come out of you. And put that on paper or type that on a screen or something. So, some of the poems that I’ve written, I cried, during the whole writing of the poems.  Some of the phones, I would like, laugh and be like, this is funny. This is a good line. And, so yeah, it’s a connection that you can’t really deny. You have to feel it to write it.

Mark [4:13] Thank you ~ feel it to write it. Is there a spiritual release for you, as you’ve put it down on paper or typed it out? And is there ~ or do you have some sort of spiritual release from that process?

My Poetry is a Spiritual Experience

Anamika [4:30] Yeah, I think so. Some of the poems are like open letters or things that I couldn’t say to a person or someone in particular, that – this is what I wanted to say. So, sometimes there is in our lives, we don’t have proper closure. When it comes to relationships or anything friendship or anything of that sort.  Sometimes we don’t get that closure. So, I think that is kind of a spiritual release when you’re writing something to someone just thinking that this person is there listening to me.  Even if that person’s not there, but you’re just writing to kind of connect with that person. So it’s definitely a spiritual experience – a spiritual release in a way. That I see this, aura, I see this experience as something that – yeah, it’s spiritual definitely.

Mark [5:37] Now that you’ve taken your poetry to the world. What do you experience in that connection to the world? And people also connecting to the words that you’re sharing. The words and the feeling? Are you noticing that people have empathy or parallel stories to you?

Connection to others in Sharing our Stories

Anamika [5:59] Yes. I think – I read this somewhere. Why do we share our stories, we share our stories, I share my stories, because I want to inspire others or encourage others, to share their stories as well. That’s what storytelling is all about. It’s not just telling your story. It’s encouraging others to share theirs. Often in our life, we feel that this is something very difficult, and I’m probably just going through it alone. But you’re never alone. No matter how difficult, the phase you’re going through, you feel you might feel that you’re alone, but you don’t have to be – there are so many people out there who are going through the same thing. And it’s just – words just connect. And yes, I’ve had many people come up to me, texting me that, I could connect with your words, I could connect with your poetry because I’ve been through the same thing. So, yeah, it’s not the fact that you’re never alone. There are stories similar to yours. And that’s just what it’s all about. I think writing is all about that – telling your story and inspiring others to tell their stories.

Mark [7:15] It’s really fascinating, isn’t it? We all have unique stories, individual unique stories. But underneath those stories, there seems to be an energetic and archetypal energetic connection between all human beings.

Connecting to our Archetypal Connections

Anamika [7:33] Yes, absolutely. I absolutely agree with that. It is fascinating. When I started writing, when I started doing the spoken recording, this was like, four or five months ago, I wasn’t really expecting people to come up to me. I wasn’t expecting any kind of response. I was just doing it for myself. But when I, when people started to text me, as I connected with your words. This is what happened to us, as well. Then I realised there’s such a bigger purpose to it to what I’m doing. It’s not just right, telling my stories, it’s connecting with other people. So, there’s always this underlying purpose, the bigger picture. And yeah, it’s fascinating to know that there are people who are feeling the same way.

Mark [8:22] And what do you experience, that word purpose, when you get that feedback, and it touches that overall purpose? What happens in your being when you tap into that purpose, and you’ve connected to others?

Connecting to Others Connects to My Purpose

Anamika [8:40] It’s, I think, a feeling of a connection, it’s a spiritual connection with someone, that’s number one, and also feel like seeing that bigger picture kind of makes you feel complete, in a way. Why do we share our pain? Why do we share our happiness, it’s because we want others to, kind of feel the same with others to join us. And even we’re feeling some kind of pain we want to heal, by telling our stories. So, when there are other people who are joining and telling you the same thing, you’re just like – you feel like okay, I feel better. I feel complete. I feel like I was supposed to do this. And it’s not just my journey, but I’m taking so many people, so many other people with me in this journey. So, it’s a feeling of completeness, in a way, if that makes sense. It’s a feeling of spiritual growth. It’s a feeling of knowing your purpose. It’s a feeling of doing better and writing more. You want to touch more hearts, you want to know other stories, more and more and you want to discover, so it’s a lot of feeling mixed feelings.

Mark [10:16] And that is like a collective connection that you have by sharing your story. How many people when you connect to them ~ do they report a sense of healing in their hearts as they’ve connected to your story in your journey?

Connecting to Sensitive Topics

Anamika [10:36] I think it depends on the poem and the subject of the poem. So, there are some issues, and that are so sensitive to us. I wrote this one poem with two other remarkable women about body image issues. I’ve had an eating disorder. I was anorexic. And it’s such a powerful yet it’s very sensitive kind of topic. And when I wrote that poem, and women who listen to that one, yes, we have all been I mean, they would say things that we’ve all been through that. I’ve been through that but I didn’t speak about it. I didn’t talk about it. But healing is a process of talking about it – expressing yourself. It’s not just like keeping it within you because it causes more pain when you keep things and it just goes up over time. So they had it, they had that experience when they were teenagers. And now they’re like, they just kind of buried it under their emotions, their feelings, and they just never talked about it. So, when they listen to that poem, they’re like, okay, now I can connect with you. This is what happened to me. And I’m so glad that you were speaking about it and your brave enough to speak about it because I never was. Even for me, it was very sensitive. And I was not brave enough to speak about it earlier. Now that I’ve taken on the spoken word journey, and podcasting. So, now I’m speaking more about it. So, this is something that has happened or narcissistic abuse. I’ve been through that as well. So, when I wrote about it, there are so many people out there who are going through the same thing. And they’re just like, okay, they don’t talk about it, because they don’t they see speaking out, speaking up, speaking about that experience, kind of makes them weak. No, it’s not. It doesn’t. It makes you more powerful. Your vulnerability, you’re able to share your experiences, it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you way more powerful. And it also inspires others. So I think, depends on the kind of poem I’m writing – there sensitive matters. And I have had people come up to me and said this, that, yes, we have felt the same way. But we just never spoke about it. And the truth is, they just never healed from it because they would have never talked about it. So yeah, that kind of helps them in life.

Connecting & Healing our Subconscious Wounds

Mark [13:21] Does it bring the wound out of the shadow and into consciousness in from the subconscious into consciousness? And by making it conscious? It’s just giving it the love and the care and the loving-kindness and compassion that it needed back then that it didn’t get back then?

Anamika [13:43] That’s a very good question. I think healing is, is a long process, it’s not something that you can have like overnight. And for someone, it takes maybe a month or so might take years. It depends on how deep your wound is. And the more you talk about it, the more you heal. Some people definitely need professional help, because some wounds are very deep. So, when I’m just doing this, poetry and something comes up that happened like when they were a teenager. And now they’re thinking about it – now they’re just having those flashbacks. It’s not that they’re going to heal immediately just by listening to my poem, which is like having this. It’s just like addressing that thing – this is something that happened to me. And now – I’m sorry, is that background noise or something?

Mark [14:47] Just have to apologise for listeners to just let that go. You just have to accept these things happen.

Anamika [14:54] So sorry. Yeah,

Mark [15:00] Yeah, part of the process is just learning to accept what is ~ whatever is-is. And we just have to accept that we can’t have everything perfect. And I hope listeners just accept that, yeah, from time to time these sorts of things are going to happen.

Anamika [15:15] Which is why I actually prefer recording at night because there’s no noise.

Connecting to the ‘All That Is’

Mark [15:28] As you’ve noticed, as you as you’re going through the healing, and you’ve been able to connect to others. And that brings up that sense of purpose. Part of the conversation, we explore the connection to others, and the connection to the ‘All That Is’, whatever that is to you. The more you do your healing, and deepen the connections to yourself, do you notice that improves or opens up your heart to connect deeper to yourself, to the ‘All That Is’ whatever that is to you?

Anamika [16:03] Yes. And I think that comes from that, experience. And also that fear that I would not, I am not going to speak about it, because it makes me weak. So, when you speak about it, and there’s someone who’s like I connected, then you speak more than you like, Oh, you know what, this is also something that happened to me. And you do it more and you do more? And then, it’s a way of you’re also healing yourself and not just others because you’re now thinking okay, maybe I can maybe I’m now I’m brave enough to speak about that. And when you do it, it’s a process. It’s like little by little, you just open up other things that happened, and when you heal yourself. So yeah, you’ve definitely opened your heart to the world more. The more you do it, the more you want to do it. The more you inspire others to do it. So, yeah, I think it’s, that full-circle moment.

Mark [17:06] And I use the term connection to the ‘All That Is’ what does that bring up in your mind and your heart, the connection to ~ your connection to the ‘All That Is.’

With my ‘All That Is’ I’m Not Alone

Anamika [17:17] The feeling that I’m not alone. The moment something bad, terrible happens. And I’ve been there, I’ve been clinically depressed, and I still have depression. It’s not something that can just go away. It’s nothing like that. It’s just that – when you’re just sitting there, and you’re crying, and you’re like, why all the bad things happen to me. I wrote a poem about that. It’s called Why me? Like all the bad things in the world are just happening to me. But when you let it out, the connection, that ‘oh, it’s okay’. It’s not just me, there are people out there. And that is the feeling of – that’s comforting, knowing that there are people out there, that connection makes you not alone?

Mark [18:08] And does it enable you? And does it enable you to go? Does it enable you to go beyond yourself to a universe to something greater in the universe, something greater inhumaneness, something greater in the human spirit?

Discovering & Connecting to Your Purpose

Anamika [18:26] When you discover your purpose, it just, – there are some things that I remember listening to this TED Talk. One time, this lady was like, I had a perfect life. At 30 I was marrying the man of my dreams. And everything was going great. And I discover I have cancer. And there are people out there would say things like everything happens for a reason. But what is that reason? My life was going great. My life was so perfect. There is no possible reason for this thing to happen to me. So, it’s like the same thing when something happens. You’re like – someone says like, everything happens for a reason. And you’re just kind of like, there is no reason why this is happening to me. But when you are telling this and you know that there are people out there who are going through the same thing, you were just like – you are able to discover the bigger purpose, the bigger picture that I was meant to tell my story. Yes, I’ve been through all those hardships. And now I’m here to share that. So yeah, it’s like that.

Mark [19:48] Just ask what happens to your depression when you connect to that greater purpose. Does the depression dissolve?

Depression is Complicated

Anamika [20:01] Depression is very complicated. I think it just gets to you when you’re very down. And you’re, it’s just looking for that moment. But the way – the trick to kind of get out of it, or just like, get out of that, phase – is to think about what I’m doing. Not just for myself, but for others. I think that brings out, it’s the purpose and you’re able to, kind of, keep your mind away from all of that. It’s just not me, you know what mean? It’s just like, yeah, it’s sad, but you’re not just feeling it all by yourself. Just kind of like connect and your cause and you’re like, okay, relax.

Mark [20:57] Do you have a process to ~ how do you connect to your spiritual connection within yourself? Do you have a process, a daily ritual? Do you have a practice of, checking in with yourself and connecting with yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually?

Poetry Just Comes to you

Anamika [21:13] And when I’m about to write something, and poetry is something that just comes to you.  You cannot write or plan to write poetry. Like, okay, tonight, I’m going to write this, it doesn’t happen. So for me, I’m going to share this, this is a very funny incident. If I’m in the shower, a line or just like hovering, okay, this is one line. And then I have to be there at that moment, in the shower. A lot of long showers and a lot of crying. And then it comes – one line comes, and then you’re like, okay, maybe the next one. So, the process is to just, like, connect with yourself and have everything like together, your emotions, your words, your spiritual connection, that mental, physical, every everything just connected, and then the words just would come – they would. And that flows, it’s so natural. It’s not even like trying, when you’re trying to write a poem, it’s difficult, but when it comes to you, it’s like that whole connection, or else it won’t happen. It won’t happen like that. You can’t plan it just flows.

Mark [22:33] I’m smiling and laughing because as you’re sharing the story, what was sitting in my consciousness is ~ do the words just come from an intuitive flow within yourself and your psyche deep within?

Connecting to the Flow-State of Memories

Anamika [22:50] It actually comes from memories. So, when you’re just like, not thinking, it’s so sudden, you can’t be planted in your head and you wake up, you’re fine. You’re okay. And then you do something, you smell something. I this is – I don’t know if anyone else experienced this, but I experienced this a lot, a certain kind of smell would bring back memories. And then you get one memory. And then you find one line in your head like, “oh, this is a good line”. And then you think about that, and then it kind of happens. So, it’s like a whole 360-degree thing that happens. And it’s sometimes the triggers are quite simple. And they’re like, everywhere, it’s just a certain kind of smell, flashback or memory, sometimes anxiety. Sometimes I have anxiety and I would think about something and then that happens. So it’s a lot of things. It’s a lot.

Mark [23:55] There’s a ~ one of the guests on the podcast in the early days, she said, her soul sings. And when she’s inflow, her soul is singing and it just reminds me of ~ as you’re sharing that now. It just reminded me of what she was saying in her podcast about soul singing. That sounds very similar to what ~ to your experience.

The poem “I Left my Heart in Istanbul”

Anamika [24:20] Yeah, I mean, it’s kind of weird because, if I just go and drink, go to a cafe and the smell of coffee. It doesn’t happen every day. But one certain day, I remember writing there’s a point I wrote called, “I Left My Heart in Istanbul” So, I wrote it in a cafe. I was in that cafe I was having coffee and the smell of that coffee. It just that that cup I remember it was there and I smell – I went back to the Istanbul immediately and that happened like – it was kind of – it was almost spiritual because I had not – I wasn’t even thinking about Istanbul. I wasn’t even thinking about that trip. But I had that smell, and it just been the word spawned. And that’s how it happened. So it’s very weird. Sometimes the process is weird.

Connecting with Our Cellular Memories

Mark [25:13] It just sounds so like such a blessing to be able to just connect to that. It’s like a cellular memory and something opens up. And just that that freedom of expression just enables such a release from your body and your being. And how healing can that be? In the conversation, I always ask the guest, what piece of advice would you have for a younger version of yourself embarking on her journey in the universe and the world today? What would that piece of advice be for her?

Anamika [25:50] I would say live in the moment more. I wish I did that – overthinking? And just like being in the rush. I think just it’s just especially like now, people are so much in that rush. There is no rush – there is – it’s a journey. I think enjoying that journey. And more and more documenting that journey. Instead of just overthinking – instead of just rushing. I think just living in that moment and feeling all of it, like soak it all in. If you’re in that moment. Just soak everything that you’re experiencing, everything that you’re observing. I wish I did that more. And it obviously helps me as a writer helps me as a poet, as someone as a storyteller. I think just being in that moment, I would – it’s for everyone, not just younger people, for everyone, I think just be in that moment. Don’t rush.

Being in the Present

Mark [27:00] Be in the present. Be here now, so to speak.

Anamika [27:06] Yeah.

Mark [27:08] As we more evolved individuals, we’re all on the journey. And it seems to be really evolving that more and more people are wanting to heal their mental health. As we all come into our hearts, and we find the measures ~ or the ways to release our pain and do our healing. What impact do you think that would have on Mother Earth?

Anamika [27:41] Your consciousness, I think that when you’re fully aware of yourself, you’re able to make better decisions. Like, I think you heal in a way that you start to see bigger pictures. Like I recently, I have started a vegan diet. I have never, I was a hardcore non-vegetarian. I never thought I could do this. Never in my entire life and currently I’m vegan. And that shift, it didn’t happen from like, people pushing me and forcing that this is the right thing to do. You see, this is what’s happening. And you have to do it, it was not like that. It was just an effort that I was conscious – it was a choice. Because I was so fully aware of what I’m consuming, what I’m thinking, it’s not just feeding yourself with food or anything, and it’s feeding yourself with thoughts. And when you’re so positive, when you’re fully aware of yourself, you’re able to see things beyond. They are – I don’t know if that makes any sense. Makes lots of sense. You’re able to see the whole thing and you’re able to make better decisions that are just not that aren’t just not good for you as an individual, but it’s good for, people on earth. Other people, everyone because you are just fully aware of yourself completely spiritually, mentally, physically. So you make, we’re bound to make better decisions. If you’re aware of yourself, I think that’s how it works for me.

Connecting to Deeper Levels of Happiness

Mark [29:23] And when you’re experiencing that energy that you’re just sharing what happens to your mental health when you’re in that space that you were just sharing in that full awareness.

Anamika [29:37] I think it’s a deeper level of happiness. It’s not just because happiness for me is temporary. It’s just like momentary, you’re just like you’re happy – something happened. But I think it’s a deeper level. It’s just – it’s not just happy. I think it’s fulfilment in a way when you – what you’re experiencing in that – just a moment of fulfilling yourself – your growth, you’re like, completely yourself.

Mark [30:09] And to connect in there. What a gift.

Anamika [30:13] Yeah.

Mark [30:15] Beautiful gift.

Anamika [30:18] Absolutely.

Connecting to our Happiness of Self-Love

Mark [30:20] And when you’re connecting there, that gift that you give to yourself, you give to others?

Anamika [30:27] And yes, I think as a person, as an individual, I think you kind of owe that to yourself. You’re taking care of yourselves, or so many of us were just dependent on other things to make us happy. You know, material things or other people, or things that they are not able to, they can make you happy. But it’s very temporary. The only person that can – the only person who can make you happy is yourself. So, when you are, you’re only capable of making yourself happy. So, I think that’s a gift that you own yourself, your happiness. Nobody else owes that to you – it’s just you. You have to make yourself happy.

Mark [31:14] And I’m wondering whether that happiness is derived from self-love?

Anamika [31:20] Absolutely self-love. And I think – I say this a lot. In order to give love to others. You have to have a love for yourself. You have to have enough love for yourself so that you can give it to others. If you don’t have any love for yourself. You cannot give it to others. There’s just no room for self-love is not just for you. It’s for everyone. When you’re able to love yourself, you’re able to love everyone around you.

How to Contact Anamika

Mark [31:47] How can people contact you to get in touch with your poetry? Do you have a Facebook page?

Anamika [31:56] Yeah.

Mark [31:57] Can you just explain? Yeah. How can people get in touch with you? I do want to share that on the podcast?

Anamika [32:04] Yes, so my podcast is called ‘Spoken word by Anamika’. And it’s available on Spotify, Apple podcast, iHeartRadio, Amazon music everywhere. And it’s the same spoken word dynamic. I can find me on Facebook and Instagram. And I also have a website. It’s Anamika.com and slash podcasts. You can listen to it. Connect with me over there. Yeah.

Mark [32:30] And I’ll get the URL’s numbers and stick them in the show notes so people can contact and it’s lovely to have you as part of the World Heart of Connection community. And please feel free to share your poetry in the community. It’s a supportive community, we’re in the community help each other heal and grow and deepen our consciousness to heal ourselves, heal others and heal Mother Earth. And it’s lovely to connect with you ~ it’s lovely to have this conversation with you and share your story. And I really appreciate the opportunity to talk to you in Mumbai, India. What a lovely connection.

Anamika [33:12] Yeah, thank you so much for having me. It was a lovely conversation. Glad, definitely. Thank you. It’s an honour.

Mark [33:20] Pleasure. I’ll just finish just close up.



Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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